Making It Up As I Go Along #362

TUESDAY...
— Supposed to work today. Feeling pretty lousy though so it’s a sick day. A head cold... lots of sneezing and eyes watering and nose running and a sore throat. I go out for groceries (simply because when you run out of milk and orange juice you have no other choice) and just doing that breaks me into a sweat.

WEDNESDAY...
— Sick day number two. The nose improves but the hot and cold flashes are everywhere and my sinuses don’t think much of me most of today.
— Get my first “Chris Brown” crank call today. Stupid teenager calls me blathering on about Rihanna and the fact that I’m the rapper, by the same name, who beat her up. Times like this, I guess I would have been better off being called Charlie. Bottom line... there are a whole lot of stupid people out there.

THURSDAY...
— Off again. Wednesday night, I thought I’d be okay for tonight at work... but I woke feeling worse than I was before bed, and venturing out to get the recycling box from the parking lot was enough to break me into a sweat. It’s getting annoying.

FRIDAY...
— Finally back to work. And I get through alright. It’s a pretty busy night but works out pretty good anyway. I get home to a bit of a silly letter from the condo people and need to look into my condo fee deductions. I’m not thinking much of these people in their methods. A phone call Monday seems to be needed.

SATURDAY...
— Quiet day. I sleep until about 11:30... snooze some more between noon and 2:30 (in and out)... and remain tired while around the house the rest of the day. The cold is gone anyway, just tired.
— Montreal Canadiens are falling apart. Horrible to watch them play the Leafs tonight... just horrible.

SUNDAY...
— The streak is over! We win at softball. 12-10. First win in the winter league and, when including the fall league, it’s likely the first win in about fifteen games. Finally.

MONDAY...
— The TV is in. Up on the wall and working fine and dandy. Watch a movie (10,000 BC is not a good movie but looks impressive in HD), a hockey game (Philly and New Jersey), and the best baseball game I’ve seen in years. Korea vs. Japan in the final of the World Baseball Classic. 5-3 Japan winning in ten innings.


Please No... Please Please NO.

Rumours have surfaced of the sale of the Montreal Canadiens. American George Gillett has been a reasonable owner. I remember when he came to Montreal, there were doomsday predictors saying he’d move the club to Vegas or some other American market. Such rumours were silly and never came to pass.

But now, the sale of the team has started up the rumour mill again. Jim Balsillie would be an acceptable new owner. I’d rather not see him there simply because I’d like to see him drag one of those rediculous American teams back to a good Canadian market.

It’s the name of another potential owner that rocked me to the core. Could we possibly see... the next owner of the Montreal Canadiens... As Celine Dion?

I honestly don’t know if I could cheer for a Celine run team. Maybe if she’s a quiet, out of the way owner, I could deal with her. But if she puts her stamp on the team, it may be too much.

And let’s face it, Celine Dion is hardly a quiet, out of the way type of person. She would probably believe herself to be an integral part of the team. Donning a jersey with her name on back... going into the dressing room with great confident strides, stopping abruptly in front of each stall, giving every bewildered player an energetic thumbs up and wink.

Pump up music prior to each faceoff would be Celine. My Heart Will Go On... Over, and over, and over again. She’ll just remix it several times. When it’s late in the game and the excitement is brewing, it’ll be a fast paced version with lots of yelps and shrieks by the Quebec Diva. When it’s the pre game player introduction, a haunting, slow paced version will accompany the historical video on the big screen before a wired up Celine flies across the stadium rafters, singing to the top of her lungs as players leap out onto the ice.

It will be contractually agreed that for every televised Hab game, Celine will pre-empt Don Cherry at the first intermission. Ron McLean’s puns will fly over her head as she’ll speak with passion about being the Messiah of Montreal... Celine Dion, a hero for purchasing the greatest hockey team the world has ever seen. She’ll proclaim this herself... with great conviction... and a wink with a half smile. Cherry will be standing behind the cameraman... bewildered... before storming out of the studio bellowing “This isn’t hockey!” He’s never seen again.

Celine’s husband will become the new General Manager. He has no experience in hockey but Celine will proclaim it to be so, and Bob Gainey will wander off, shaking his head... slowly.

Rene’s attempts at trades will be laughed at by other GM’s across the league. Offers such as “you give me Sidney Crosby and we’ll arrange a Celine concert in Pittsburgh” will somehow not gain acceptance.

The Bell Centre will be renamed... La Centre Celine.

The “H” in the Canadien’s jersey crest will be replaced by a winking, half smiling Celine face.

The “C” will no longer stand for “Canadiens”. The club will hereby be known as the Montreal Celines.

And a Stanley Cup victory will see the trophy not presented to Saku Koivu but to Celine herself. She’ll be there, dancing as she towers over Gary Bettman, pumping her arms and singing “I Am the Champion!” at the top of her lungs. The players will have previously been escorted off the ice... there will be no room for players in the Stanley Cup celebration of Celine.

Yes, I’m afraid for the Montreal Canadiens. There was once before a dark time, when Patrick Roy was run out of town, Pierre Turgeon was the team’s captain, and Mario Tremblay and Rejean Houle ran the club. I couldn’t cheer for such a misguided team then... I fear I may have to turn away from my team once again.

Because of Celine Dion comes to town, mine will be one heart... that will NOT... go on.

Making It Up As I Go Along #361

MONDAY...
— Trouble in the early hours. I get to sleep okay but wake at 1:15 and lay in bed awake for about two hours. So work is done on less than 4 hours sleep today.
— Work goes alright though. Phil back helps and it’s not super busy today either.
— Drug store after work for some needed items... including birthday card for the pop.

TUESDAY...
— Not a bad day at work. I still don’t sleep great Monday night but better than Sunday night, so a bit better energy.
— Stay up night... a bit of a couch nap but then some movies and such to stay up with.

WEDNESDAY...
— Slept much of the day before work. Slept in until 10:30... Back to bed for my nap at 2:00... up for good at 3:45.
— Thai for supper tonight... work goes pretty good. It’s the quietest time for me in a while... not a tonne in and Phil there to share the load.
— Do the gym tonight... listen to music on my Blackberry while I bike.

THURSDAY...
— Wake up moment... while I try to nap ironically enough. I wake, sort of perked up, twenty minutes into the nap, and I decide to check the blackberry. Sure enough an e-mail asking me to check on a friend who has some dealings with a helicopter company that just lost a chopper. He’s fine, and in fact was a part of the search and rescue for the lost, but it slaps you in the face to see how quickly things can change. I’m fairly somber for much of the rest of the day.
— Work goes alright. Not too too busy and I get to the gym again as well.

FRIDAY...
— Up earlier than I want because the furnace people call and ask to move their appointment up. I figure I’m up now, may as well.
— Lazy after they’re gone and then decide to get to Future Shop in the evening to check out TVs... and... I buy one. Never did I expect to spend that kind of money on a TV. Ten years ago I paid less than a tenth of the cost for the TV that’s currently sitting in the living room. But these are the times we live in... and it will wind up being really good when all is said and done. Installation... wall mounting and all... will be done on the 23rd. Hockey playoffs will be heavenly this year! And the baseball season... my God the baseball season!

SATURDAY...
— Quiet day. My back is touchy... probably from the hauling of the TV up over my stairs alone.
— Turned the corner on winter as I can no longer see the sun setting on the horizon. It goes behind the building on back of mine again now. In winter, it sets on my horizon... summer it goes behind the buildings.
— Childhood memories come back tonight as Clash of the Titans is on Turner Classic Movies. I remember seeing this in cinema when I was nine... and of collecting the stickers and poster from cereal boxes after that.

SUNDAY...
— Lost in softball yet again. Nice day outside though. Sun and around 9 degrees. After ball, I go out with just the shorts on rather than putting track pants back on over them.


The Two Year Quest
The next time I write here, my world should be turned upside down. Such life altering claims are usually saved for births and deaths... lottery wins, or moves to new countries. But my world will be turned on it’s ear due to an installation of new technology. On March 23rd, I’ll have access to...

My new HD TV.

I’ve been waiting about two years to get a big screen HD television. Two Christmas’s ago, my main gift from my parents was money to go towards such a purchase. Well, two years later... it has happened.

On Friday I drove over to Future Shop. A sale on a Sony television had me thinking it’s time to look seriously at the TV. There, I walk through the isles of televisions. Men jumping off of cliffs with camera crew jumping after... Tigers roaring from the bush... exploding cars causing heros to dive for cover. These are the images shown again and again as far as the eye can see.

The Samsung TVs stand against the far left wall. This seems to be the row of royalty. You pass by in awe. The crispness of the buggy as it jumps over sand dunes. The mystical water falls dropping into the Amazon. The intimidation felt by such greatness leaves this isle near empty. People scurry by, glancing in the tone of unworthiness while they move on to pause at more humble brands such as Toshiba and LG.

I find the Sony seen in my e-mail flyer. It looks good. I search for reasons to walk away... to extend my wait another two years... but can think of none.

A salesman stops to talk... here we go, I’m further into this process now than in any other time. I ask the questions and understand the answers. I ask of the comparison. What makes this one less than those Samsung giants? He speaks of the price difference and tells me it’s not worth it. Stick to the Sony.

But then a turn. I speak of needing the installation done. Of needing to get the HD cable box as well. Of even getting the PVR box that will allow me the privilege of stopping time. To pausing live TV and wandering to the washroom or fridge whenever the desire, or kidney, needs.

And with this talk, suddenly the salesman speaks of the unthinkable. The Samsung... it may be an option after all.

The TV may cost more, but the deals can be offered in the add ons. Suddenly, the deal on the cable box and the installation. The deal on the wall mounting and cables... this all brings the difference in cost to a minimal amount.

I think how it’s a bit of a game. Future Shop are offering me these deals on the extras as long as I get the more expensive television. Get the sale TV and those extras deals disappear. But still, when you’re told that greatness is within your reach, it’s hard not to grab on.

So we wander over to the Samsung isle once again. Empty... others stand back, plastered against the LG televisions, looking towards us with mouths agape. A child is shushed by her mother.

I stand and look. Beholding the images of Africa and the bergs of ice sliding off of the edge of northern glaciers. I can think of no reason not to give the okay to this purchase. I struggle for it. I look for a way to justify a continuation of my wait. But nothing comes to mind.

The salesman than picks up the remote and shows me extras... menus. Menus from all over the world. If I want to make enchiladas, the recipe is only a TV remote click away.

Now I don’t cook. The last time I followed a recipe was when making chilli about twenty years ago. But this option, followed in close order by the exercise and stretching suggestions given for soccer players... gotten by another simple click of the remote... and I’m in. Samsung royalty is coming home.

This may be enough to keep me based out of my house for at least another year. Wall mounting this great device in my living room... how can this not make the place feel like home?

There is one final test. One great test to see if I’m worthy of such a wonderment entering my home. All along I thought the installers would bring it with them. But my salesman tells me otherwise. It’s mine to bring home... now!

He aids me in getting the television into the car. It barely makes it in with the back seats down. And I’m left wondering how I’ll manage to get it from the car, up the six steps to my front door, and then up the dozen steps to my living room.

I must shift about the great box on several occasions. Trying to get in the best position for leverage. I muscle it up the outdoor steps. I drag it into the front door enough to be able to shut the door behind it.

I wonder if I’ll leave the television there for the next week. Remaining boxed and ready for installers to help lug it up the stairs. But I push on... tipping the box to be able to slide it upwards. Able to muscle and slide it up a stair at a time. Pushing and heaving, nobody said the path to luxury would be easy. I have images of reaching the top step, then slipping and having a great tumble backwards with the box tumbling down on top of me. But I make it. Summit the monolith like crate and slide it in towards the kitchen just to make sure it doesn’t find a way to push back down over the stairs.

And here I wait. The great television remains in it’s box, awaiting the installers. They’ll arrive next week and, if all goes well, will turn my living room into a holy place.

Just in time for hockey playoffs!