Making It Up As I Go Along #243

A hazy lighthouse courtesy, if I remember correctly, of Sam Dhargalkar. It seems to be a fitting image for today's story...

MONDAY…
--- Not a bad evening of work. Start the day alright too as I meet up with Melissa and we grab lunch and go for a walk over in Gatineau.
--- An hour long walk around my neighbourhood after work is good too.

TUESDAY…
--- Go to work a touch early to stop at the mall for the new Jeff Tweedy DVD. Good music needs to be bought!
--- Work is fine… kind of busy with electronics but you do what you must.
--- Nick and Mike pop over to my place after work for a few drinks and some talking. Not a bad time.

WEDNESDAY…
--- Tweedy (Lead singer of Wilco) on DVD in the morning. Work is normal in the evening. A movie when I get home… Saw II is pretty creepy.

THURSDAY…
--- Work is fine. Full area with four AFIS people joining CNI to pump out the work. So, in a weird twist, I’m Melissa’s supervisor for a day.

FRIDAY…
--- Hectic like day and I’m in a fog for most of it. Sleep in until 10:00… Have to be at the restaurant for the CNI luncheon at 11:30… work for two hours in QC next to Kiyomi (CNI work but no room to do it there so I take it to QC)… that’s nice for a change. Evening shift is with a minimal team and I’m there until 8:00. Not the most productive day really.

SATURDAY…
--- After a day of lazing… it’s an evening of mingling. First it’s Linda Jackson’s for a little party celebrating her degree. Melissa picks me up and we meet Isabelle while there… fun time.
--- After that it’s to Melissa’s hanging out with Melissa’s friend, Anne-Marie.
--- From there the three of us go to a house party downtown… meet up with Brenda (from work) and meet several interesting people as well.
--- A $50 cab ride home ends the night at around 2:15 in the morning… wouldn’t want to shell that out for a cab every day but once a year or so is fine and dandy for an interesting night.

A late night last night followed by a really interesting round of shark shows on the Discovery Network… and with me having a rather tired and foggy type of week this week, this seems fitting…


Living in a Fog
One of the things I miss about home, now that I’m living in Ottawa, is fog. Sure, Ottawa gets fog from time to time… but it’s almost always a morning event that burns off as the temperatures rise. If you aren’t up before 8:00 AM, you’d likely never see it. Other than that, I think there was one day, in the three plus years I’ve been here, that fog lasted all day long.

In Newfoundland, Spring time will bring weeks of fog with only occasional glimpses of the sun. For a portion of my life, I hated this. It felt claustrophobic and left people with headaches. But after a while, I started appreciating the feel of it. The mystery… and how it obscures the world around us. And now that I’m away, I miss it.

Fog can give serious topics added weight. In the Robert McNamara film “The Fog of War”, McNamara explains the term “fog of war” by saying “war is so complex it's beyond the ability of the human mind to comprehend all the variables. Our judgment, our understanding, are not adequate. And we kill people unnecessarily.” With that in mind, it makes one stop and ponder many of the events in the world today. If more people saw war like this, the world would likely be a safer place today.

And there are still more types of fog to consider. The fog of the mind that makes ordinary tasks as complex as nuclear science.

Whether it’s a lack of good sleep… hectic times around me… my mind drifting on to other things… or simply not eating enough vegetables… On Friday I had one of those foggy days that come about once every couple of months. It’s a day where the IQ drops to Forrest Gump levels and the simplest of tasks becomes a chore.

And I knew it was coming. I woke up late and was tempted to even call in and say I won’t be at the staff luncheon. Waiting until 3:00 and having a reduced number of workers felt more appealing than going in for 11:30, eating Chinese buffet and then working for several hours with a large crew.

But I went in anyway and plodded through the day. On days like these, my answer to many work questions goes as follows… “What does your manual say?”

Sure it gets me out of the jam of trying to answer a question… but it’s also good for the worker to find the answer for themselves. So it’s a win win situation. I don’t look stupid and they get smarter. Now that’s management!

After a while, a question is bound to come that the manual doesn’t cover. With that, I have to show my cards and just be honest… “My brain isn’t working today” is a common explanation. And, when these situations occur, I at least don’t try to make something up. Searching out the answer may be a pain but it avoids trouble.

And with those last words, a fog once again envelops my mind. Clear thoughts are nowhere to be found. I have to wander about, searching my brain, knowing that if I stumble close enough, like in real life, the haze dissipates and the thought sits there clearly for me to examine and discuss. But right now, it’s way off on the horizon with little more than a silhouette dimly visible.

Yes, there can be much frustration, but at the same time, intrigue when one is wandering through the fog.