Fever Dreams
Fever dreams come on my father’s birthday.
A sleep that’s both deep and shallow… restful and draining.
Ten of the last eleven hours are spent this way.
Dreaming of oddities and situations that make no sense… except for now.
Collapse on the bed and limbs feel like lumbering slabs of light concrete.
Ready to float away on the air even though they each weigh a thousand pounds.
Sickness induced rest envelops the mind in a wave
And the body quickly follows, not wanting to be left behind.
Vivid dreams of chaos take over… a job interview in a crowded lobby.
Trying to be professional through a haze of mind fog.
Only the voice of a distant loved one comes in clearly from across the room.
And the interview becomes that much harder… causing me to wake.
Further dreams of work come on… of me checking e-mail.
Sifting through the information messages that are trashed daily without a read.
Seeing one of the monthly officer death notifications
And recognizing the name… receiving life changing news via automated e-mail.
And here I wake once again… wake with a start, quickly climbing out of the haze.
I’m left with that image of the e-mail in my head.
Of the subject line… Death Notification… and the name of a former friend.
It leaves me numb and wondering. How would I react if the dream was real?
Then I want to call that friend. Hear her voice to know my sickness lied to me.
I want to tell her that I’m glad she’s alright… and for her to take care.
But such a call would be greeted with bewilderment.
For she has no idea what my unconscious mind made up and would consider me weird.
This is my father’s birthday. Me, separated from the real world
A world working normally with daily routines.
While I lay in bed dreaming of a surreal world
Thankful that dreams aren’t real as thousand pound limbs regain some life.
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