Making It Up As I Go Along #483

Sports Old

I’ve become old.

From a sports point of view, I’m old.  Both in the participating, and in the watching.  I mean, I tore up my shoulder shifting in a chair at work!  From being able to play through every ache and pain to wiping yourself out when your butt starts to fall asleep from sitting…. That’s aging.

Even before the shoulder injury, I’ve been holding back in sports.  I used to go 100% at all times.  I once got a double by blooping a ball over the second baseman’s head and catching the outfielder off guard.  I once hit a ground ball to the first baseman, and dove head first into the base to beat him there, safe. 

Yet, for years now, I’ve run at three quarter speed, not wanting to blow another hamstring.  And I’ve given up trying to avoid being tagged out, for fear of rolling over a knee again. 

Yet the showing of my sporting age has gone beyond the field of play.  I now watch hockey games on TV and cringe when I see a big hit about to happen.  Where once I used to scoot to the edge of my seat in anticipation of the collision, I now cower back, turning my head for fear of seeing Armageddon. 

A hockey fight was once good and is now silly and dangerous.  And the players are too young for me now. 

I find myself thinking and talking like an old timer on the porch.  Back in my day, players didn’t wear these silly high numbers.  #72?  He should be ashamed to put that on.  Now #7… now that’s a number.

Be humble after winning a fight, no wrestler style celebration on your way to the box.

Shoot outs aren’t real hockey! (actually, I’m glad I’m old fashion on that one… Shoot outs are pure evil and have made NHL regular season games basically worthless).

The home team is supposed to wear white jerseys!

The designs on today’s goalie masks is too busy and detailed.  Give me a nice white one, or a basic design.

TV time outs are horrible.  Back in my day, when the game went to commercial, you had to run to the bathroom and shoot out your pee with gusto… otherwise you’d miss the next faceoff.

They should outlaw composite sticks! Only wooden ones.

These players have too much padding on! They aren’t supposed to be done up like football players!

Stop with the fear of sharing injury information!  It used to be, if you broke your ankle, you broke your ankle.  Now a broken ankle is coded as Upper Body Injury.  Yes, an ankle becomes upper body in order to avoid targeting when the poor baby comes back. 

It’s gotten so bad, that hockey teams can’t even admit when a player has a cold or flu.  No… he has “flu like symptoms.”  Is that code for hung over?  Otherwise… just say he’s got the flu.  Nobody is going to target the flu.  Maybe it will open up some space on the ice for the guy.  And, perhaps when you really need that extra room on the ice… in those big games… you tell the media “he’s got a case of explosive diarrhea… but he’s still going to play.”

And my crotchetiness has gone beyond hockey. 

I don’t watch football.  Too dangerous, and it’s all about gambling anyway.

Too many baseball players have too many tattoos.  Especially neck tattoos.  It looks like they’re gang members!

Stop pointing to god after you get a hit… or after you score a run… or after you pitch your way out of trouble.  God doesn’t watch baseball… he doesn’t care.

Pitchers are treated like babies.  100 pitch counts… shutting them down for the season when they’ve reach an inning limit.  Back in my day, pitchers threw a dozen complete games a season.  No starter came out while throwing a shutout.  And you weren’t a real starting pitcher unless you threw 230 innings a season.

Mound visits used to be cool.  They were the places where Bull Durham like conversations took place.  It was as if a break was called in the middle of the game and the pitcher, catcher, coach, and a few infielders gathered around in a circle and caught up on the daily news.  Or… in those times when they were talking strategy, they did it like men… talking face to face, with serious looks, and building intensity.

Today mound visits have face covering, for fear of opposition lip readers picking up secrets.  Pitchers put a glove over their mouth and nose… looking like they’re about to cover a sneeze.  Coaches put a hand up, trying to throw off the opposition.  And catchers keep masks down… and even then, STILL put their glove over their mouths.  It’s all mound visit peak-a-boo.  Eyes slipping up over gloves.  Faces disguised.  I’m surprised coaches don’t come out with a bag of peanuts, throwing in a handful of nuts every few seconds… making spoken words and eating chews blend into a lip reader state of confusion.

Yes, I’ve become sports old.  Those young punk players are too big and rough… but also too wimpy and need to suck it up.  My sports senility knows no bounds.

FRIDAY…

--- Dayshift.  Fairly easy going… not too busy.

--- Was supposed to go for appliances after work… but an offer on the house comes up.  So it’s off to the real estate agent instead of Sears.  Looking positive… should know more tomorrow.

SATURDAY…

--- Officially, the house is conditionally sold.  Inspection up next… sometime before the 28^th.

--- Work is normal.

--- Swing by the new place on the way home.  Outside is completely done… and now I even see railing for the stairs and kitchen cupboards up.  Getting close.

SUNDAY/MONDAY…

--- Night shift.  And find out that the house change of possession date will have to change… December 27^th  instead of 15^th now, we’ll see.

TUESDAY…

--- Up by 9:30 is hard after night shift.  Got to leave the house for a few hours for inspection.

--- Some PVR’d TV once I get back in my house.

WEDNESDAY…

--- Bring the car to Mazda… oil change… tires changed over.  Yes, winter tires are on.

--- Do an hour walk while waiting for the car.  Nasty stuff walking through industrial areas.  Loud and ugly.

THURSDAY…

--- Cold day.  Physio… fill up the gas… and get groceries.  Around the house before and after that.

--- World Series and hockey on TV.  The baseball is crazy tonight.  7-4 Texas into the 8^th… 7-5 into the 9^th… one strike away in the 9^th… St. Louis ties it.  Two run home run for Texas in the 10^th… 9-7… St. Louis down to their last strike again… ties it again.  And, in the 11^th, Freese home run wins it for St. Louis, 10-9… forcing a 7^th game tomorrow.  Wow.