Making It Up As I Go Along #634

A week of sickness.  Seems like I had the flu this week.  Was quite tired Monday night and woke Tuesday exhausted and aching.  Wednesday felt kind of feverish and Thursday was more of the same until around supper time when things started to feel more normal.  Back to work Friday and felt quite tired and a little spacey there until lunch when the food seemed to revitalize me.

Still, wanting to play it safe, I’ve spent the weekend in the house.  Good weather and the woods try to lure me out but I’m afraid of the weakened state.  My energy level still isn’t where it should be.  Though it’s bright and almost ten degrees out today… so I may still go for a twenty minute stroll for some air before the day is done.

This week, my mind is still a little mushy from the flu.  Not feeling too bad now but just not very alert on the creative side of things.  So a few things I wrote over the past couple of weeks walking the woods.

I find woods writing pretty fun.  It clears the brain and my mind wanders as I go.  Then if something creative pops in, I can stop where I stand, open my journal app on the phone, and either write a poem or make some notes that I can pick up on later.  Here’s a poem I wrote mid walk a few weeks back.

Rusty Door

Open

Then close

That squeaky door

Moaning brown speckled metal

Cranky about letting you in

And here’s another written about the same period of time (a day or two before or after).  I wrote this on a pleasant day strolling along the forest paths.  I was left to daydream about a walk I’ve always wanted to take the time to do… Walking across Newfoundland on the Trans Canada Trail.  I figure that such a walk would take between four to six weeks and it would make for some pretty inspirational times.  If ever I were to write a book, I think this is what would drive it.  

But on my pleasant day, a few weeks back, I imagined being three weeks in on a cross Newfoundland walk… in windy drizzle… miserable.  And this is what came out of that imagining.

No

No

I won't write today

Walking, rain whipped

And sog wrinkled

Undryly trudging 

Forever trudging 

Making It Up As I Go Along #633

The water rodents are taking over out there.  Walks this week have me noticing three reed muskrat homes in the marshy area.  Another little muskrat colony hanging around the far pond and it looks like another beaver has moved in with a sort of lodge near the far pond.  

A few days ago I watched four or five muskrat busy around one of the reed homes.  And today I saw the muskrat at the far pond swimming under a thin layer of ice.  And saw it break through the ice along the far shore in order to get out after some food.  And in taking a picture of the beaver lodge, I accidentally got a shot of the beaver himself… not noticing it until I looked at the picture from home.  

And not to feel outdone, today I came close to a coyote.  I wonder if it’s the same one from last year and it’s stuck around year round?  Either way, got some pretty good pictures of him.  

I Don’t Want to Live That Way

I don’t want to live that way

To be so scared of orphans

As to believe the lies 

Created to feed that fear

To justify irrational hatred

By comparing my people

To face wrapped killers

Asking why be good when they’re so bad

Pushing for the welfare of one

Over that of another

When there’s no reason for limits

Why can’t we aspire for more?

I want to be good

To offer help to any in need

Without catches and stipulations

Simply because it’s right

To be confident enough in my beliefs

To accept that others are different

And those differences enrich our fabric

Because one doesn’t drown the other 

If evil is truly out there

I don’t want their hatred to breed mine

I’d rather live my life better than them

And accept those who need my help

And if I’m in a little more danger

By casting open the blanket

And offering shelter for the lost

I’ll accept the risk

Because I want to maintain my humanity

And live in a country that strives

Proving itself to be better

And standing for what is right.

Making It Up As I Go Along #632

The thing that is most dominating my mind these days is Christmas... The thing is, though, I am currently unable to discuss it.  So I'll leave it at saying I hope I'll actually have a Christmas this year. 

Anyway... Yesterday was too full of sleep and sports to write. I hadn't planned on staying in bed until 11:00. And by the time I was reasonably conscious, the Ottawa Redblack game was on. Another football game right after and hockey after that and my day was set. 

So today, after work, I went for a walk in the woods. There are few things as good as a thirty minute walk that takes forty minutes to do. 

At the furthest point in my hike, I stopped in the middle of the forest... All still and duckish from the just set sun. I pulled out my phone, opened my journal app, and took ten minutes to write this. 

Leafy Twig Sweater

Mine's a leafy twig sweater

Not built of autumn's cast offs

But grabbing them 

As I manage remnant paths

Striding long through freeze dried vegetation 

Once my walk comes to end

Upon concrete and asphalt clear

Mine is that brambled sweater

With me left picking cotton

Plucked from sleeves and chest

But all removal is impossible 

And each new wearing leaves me remembering the walk before. 

Making It Up As I Go Along #631

A fairly uneventful week. Work is work... the dentist visit is a pain.  Actually, the dentist has become one of my least favourite things.  This was just a cleaning and, in the end, I'm given the clean bill of health.  But the picking and poking with pointy picks always keeps me on edge.  My gums don't like it and I'm always a touch nervous now that they're going to say I need another filling or something else that will bring me back and in need of freezing agents.  My mouth doesn't freeze well at all.  Last fillings I had needed the stuff they usually use on root canals.  The time before, they had to refreeze me every fifteen minutes or so.  Anyway... glad it's over for another six months.

I am torn in my views of Remembrance Day.  I do remember those that sacrificed.  I appreciate what they did and can't imagine being in such a situation.  But I'm disturbed with how, after almost fifteen years since September 11th, war and the military have basically become a part of our daily culture.  I know to fight is sometimes necessary... but I don't think it should ever be accepted and celebrated to the point of being regular life.  

90% of all sporting events celebrate troops.  Be it remembering back to World War I and II in a pregame ceremony, or having modern day military personnel marching out flags for the national anthems, we can not tune in to a sports event and not be reminded of our military.  Every Sunday home game, the Blue Jays bring out a member of the armed forces for a jersey presentation and even the last football game I went to here in Ottawa had a halftime moment with a recently returned soldier.

So whenever I hear the "Lest we forget" talk in and around every November 11th I think to myself that we're a long way from forgetting anything.  And there's a part of me that wishes we would allow ourselves to forget it just a little bit more than we currently do.  

Again, as I've already said... I am thankful for what our military has done both historically and in modern times.  I agree that our military needs to be properly funded and returning soldiers need to be taken care of both physically and psychologically.  I'm just worried that military combat has become too big a part of our society.  If things with ISIS and Afghanistan cleared up in the next year or two (which I don't think will happen) it seems to me that we'd feel as if there's a hole in our social fabric and that we'd need some other conflict to take part in.  

At the very least, I want to be able to go to a hockey or baseball game and not see soldiers marching out flags or be recognized during a break in the action.  These things don't happen at the theatre.  I don't know why they have to at a hockey game.  It just seems like sports can't make up their minds.  On one hand, they want to promote themselves as being kid friendly with mascots and autographs.  But on the other hand, they want to celebrate those who have returned from war.  I'm not sure it's a great idea to blend those two aspects of life.  

Anyway... a poem... that has nothing to do with any of this.  But came to me while out for a walk along the ponds and woods this week.  

Heron Stitched

On this calm sunless evening I walk

And to the first pond I come

Clear, reflectionless water

Low and shallow

Introduces me to the bottom

The light brown cake

Textured with dark lines

Underwater pathways

Zigzagging too and fro

Outlining the waters rim

And crossing through the middle bowl

It's heron stitched

Like sea bed fault lines

The heron's deliberate search for food

Traced out for all to see

If viewed on reflectionless evenings

Before the day turns to night

A hidden map

On an Indiana Jones crusade

Making It Up As I Go Along #630

Trying something a little different.  Rather than a few lines about each day of the week… opening with a few paragraphs that either sum up the week as a whole or highlight something about it all.  A little writing will end off each post… still either story, rant or poem.

The work week was fairly normal… for what passes as normal as of late.  A few annoyances… A couple of lunches with friends… And a nice end to the week as the system goes down at 2:00 and management decide to send us home an hour early.  

Weather is oddly nice for November.  Two days this week go above 20 degrees.  Funny how the day I get the snow tires put on the car is the hottest day of the week.  I’m out strolling in short sleeves as I wait for the car to be ready.  

The weekend is quiet for me.  It’s one thing I still haven’t gotten fully used to after leaving the twelve hour shift of CPSIC.  Four days off each time was a nice get away from things.  But now, back to the regular weekend, things seem more rushed.  Less time to get the things I liked to do done.  On two days off, time away seems too short.  With four days off, even though the first day was pretty much a waste due to sleeping half of it away and feeling jet lagged for the other half, it stood as a quiet day of rest.  And then the next day I’d wake up free to do what I’d like… with two other days to follow.  

I enjoy the work I’m doing now.  And an eight hour workday is nice.  My body appreciates the more normal sleep patterns and I don’t have to piece together which day of the week it actually is.  But man… those weekends fly by.

Little More Than a Month

Little more than a month

Recent Christmases 

Down to the wire

Arriving on the Eve

Once three days later

After that Christmas morn

Was as any other workday

This year’s different

Arriving mid month

With plenty of time to shop

Wandering downtown streets

Browsing Water Street stores

Hunched and tensed against sea winds

Before ducking in for pub lunches

A deep sigh upon entry

The unzipping of outer layers

A careful removal of wool caps

Making sure wet snow stays controlled

Knocked off at the entrance

Less  entrance and more airlock

Mid zone between winter winds and pub warmth

Sometimes these trips are with parents

As we cling to packages and bags

Meant for viewing on the twenty-fifth

Stopping in for soup and tea

Sustenance for the everlasting fight

Against howling wet winds

There cursed but here reminisced over

Other times a trip with friends

With lots to say and hear

Catching up on old times

And filling in on new

As Guinness froths settle

Into the blackness of the glass

A pint to go with stews or chowder

My Christmas trip home is near

In Spring or Fall, times at home are split

Partially in the city

Before venturing out to the outports

But Christmas is a city time

St. John’s getting full attention

As I set plans with family and friends

And look forward to a day or two

Where weather erases all plans

FIreplaced living room brings quiet chats

Windows are wandered upon

And the outside world is analysed

As serpentine snows sweep the street

And homes across the street fade into white

For this is Christmas

Wanderings along the downtown streets

Lunches and pints with family and friends

And days of surrender

Where the house is all there is

And family sits together by the fire

As snowy winds howl down the street where I grew up. 

Making It Up As I Go Along #629

Haven’t been writing for a while, again.  Like other times, it seems when the routine is broken, the writing suffers.  This time, I had mom and dad visiting for a few weeks.  It was quite a nice time.  And different from many visits.  

For one, it was just me and dad alone for several days.  After they both arrived on the Wednesday evening, mom hopped a plane again on Thursday afternoon, heading to Toronto for the weekend.  So for the first time, it was just me and dad in Ottawa for around three days.  A low key time with some walking, a football game to attend.  And some quiet times around the house.

Once mom got back, things picked up activity wise.  But not overly so.  Mornings were generally quiet and a few trips around town are nice.

Once they left (Last Tuesday), things felt very quiet.  After weeks of the parents being around, it’s always odd to be home alone again.  The first day or so of that is usually the loneliest I get in Ottawa.  

Winter Is Coming

Winter is coming

Patio stones lay bare out back

The wicker having migrated 

Sitting now in furnished computer room

Peering out at leafless trees

A sea of wood poles

Reaching up into the grey

With spindly bare tops as surf

Atop my wooden ocean

A few brown leaves remain

Clinging hard to remnants of summer

Soon to be swept away

In a losing battle 

With ever more frigid gusts.

I prepare for snowshoe season

Walking the winter route 

Still engulfed in yellow browns 

I slalom twigs and high grasses

Carrying off their seeds

Picking those that velcro to my arms and legs

Flicking them away

Doing my part in their germination.

  

Making It Up As I Go Along #628

Another longer than normal break between posts.  Last Sunday was disrupted by golf.  First round of the summer/fall… and by the time I got home it was nap time rather than writing time.  It seems any out of the ordinary Sunday plans disrupt the blog.

Last two weeks…

Worked a week of dayshift.  It was bearable.  Sometimes loud and distracting.  Sometimes quiet and good for working.  I’ve grown back into the use of my headphones.  In CPSIC, I stopped doing it entirely, but now I’m back to podcasts and music through my work day.  Not sure what it is about recorded noise that’s less distracted than live noise… but there you go.

Then worked a week of evenings.  Just two of us in the department makes for much quieter times.  The Monday was nuts busy with priority work.  I skipped breaks just to try to keep up with it.  The rest of the week was more reasonable… with take out for supper on Friday.  I order a baked lasagna which is tasty, but it isn’t really lasagna.  It’s really pizza toppings mixed with lasagna noodles.  So goes the experiment with take out lasagna.

A Return to the Great Outdoors

I cut back on my summer walks this year.  Circumstances were against it.  Two leg injuries while playing softball kept long walks down for a six week spell.  And constant construction work in the area created a layer of moon-like dust along trails and in the nearby vegetation.  

One day I went out after the trucks had finished their work.  A wander through the brush turned my black shorts volcano ash grey and each step I took along the trail left astronaut prints behind me and a cloud of ‘Peanuts’ Pigpen dust fluffing about my knees and lower legs.  

The forest trails would have given me relief from the dust but summer walks in there brings a bombardment of mosquitos.

It’s funny.  As a child and teenager, mosquitos never caused me much bother.  Sure I’d get bites but they weren’t often… and those I had to deal with only gave a few hours of itchiness before becoming a non-issue.  

But as I’ve aged, the bites have taken over.  The majority of my bug bites are around my calves and ankles… or in the crevasses of my fingers. And the itch will last for the better part of a week.  Often I’m woken in the middle of the night due to the need to scratch screaming ankles.  So my summer walks are away from the forest.  The trail along the ponds is a safer route on the bug front… it’s just that’s now the dirtiest, dustiest place on earth.  

So on the day I went out in the dust, along with turning black shorts grey, an obscene amount of dirt absorbed through my shoes and socks… leaving my toes and feet in hobo condition.

Such conditions lessened the desire for my nature walks.  And what was previously an every other day event become a once or twice a month trek.

But Fall has brought relief.  Although the construction trucks still run, increased rain has kept the dust at a minimum.  And the cold nights has defeated the mosquitos.  And, on this Thanksgiving Weekend, I’ve returned to the woods.

There’s the smell of the Fall woods.  The crispness of the leafy carpet.  You forget about that smell during the summer.  But the first hint of it, as you wander among the trees, brings on a reflexive deep breath.  

I wasn’t sure how long I’d walk this day.  I planned on the woods trail (a fifteen minute round trip) but simply kept going.  It was like running into an old friend as you walk along the street.  A pause of moments stretches into hours as you catch up.  

And so, when I reached the turning point of the woods trail, I ventured further.  Crossing the muddy scar left by months of construction trucks.  Peeking into the ditch pool I see, to my surprise, a small school of fish continuing to endure their cooling world.  

I reach the far pond and decide to enter the woods trail here as well…. Further catching up with my ‘neighbourhood’.  On the end of this trail, I reach the farmers field.  This season, it is left fallow.  Where soy beans were here last fall, painting the land a rusty orange, this year has low grasses and weeds.  

I walk along the track marks left from an all-terrain vehicle.  And my presence is felt by a family of geese.  A few calls from the one who spotted me brings the entire flock into the air… as they vee away from me, over the houses to a more private place.

I follow the route I’ll be snowshoeing in a few months.  Wandering through the tall grasses of the overgrown trail.  Crossing the barely seen trail that I’d veer down on my snowshoe trek home… thinking about the coyote I saw here last winter.  Coming out to the open fields where I once spooked a deer… his bolt spooking me just as much, as I wasn’t aware of his presence until he hightailed it from some fifty feet in front of me.

And then I cross the power line corridor.  And enter the open space that is bordered by ‘my’ woods.  The woods that hold the trail I started with.  The trail that leads me home.

In past years, this open area would have been part of those woods.  By the time I moved into the area (almost four years ago), it was a bare, somewhat scarred meadow.  Back then I’d walk through and see moose tracks in the mud… wild turkey prints cris-crossing the land as well… and geese bedded down here for the night.  Today, there are now paved roads.  Street signs and fire hydrants stand at the corners of these empty streets.  In the far end of the place, a dozen homes stand at several stages of completion.  Some, looking near ready to be moved in to.  Others being nothing more than the wood skeleton.

My first summer here, I happened across a moose skull among the grasses where some of these houses now stand.  I’m left to wonder if the new home owners will be haunted by moose ghosts.  It further makes me wonder what ghosts may inhabit my home.  Was it built atop the final resting place of a deer?  Could a fox have breathed it’s last where I now sit?  How many snakes met their maker in the excavation of my basement?

I finish the paved part of my walk.  Leaving muddy prints upon asphalt where once turkeys left their prints within the mud.  And I slip out of the open, into the woods I’ve come to know so well.  Entering a near invisible trail with ease.  I make my way back home.  Doing the second half of my fifteen minute walk a good hour after originally coming by this way.  I’m walking across the slowly deepening carpet of leaves as that smell of Fall once again causes me to breathe deeply.  Almost home.     

  

Making It Up As I Go Along #627

Been quite a while since I last posted.  Lots of stuff making it less of a priority lately.  

First I was at a Sunday baseball game here.  Fully intending to write when I got home from the afternoon game but exhausted after having spent more than three hours sitting in the blazing sun.

Next was two weeks in Newfoundland.  The weather wasn’t super there but it was still a great time both in town with the visiting and good meals… with a few trips around (Cape Spear, Signal Hill).  And out and about central Newfoundland was excellent too.  Seeing Bonavista and Trinity for the first time… Spending time around Botwood with Uncle Eric and Aunt Mini… And a few days on Fogo Island… weather just didn’t really matter that much.

After returning to Ottawa, I found myself drained of creative energy.  Got in Saturday night, groceries and laundry was about all I could muster on the Sunday.

And through it all, I have found that after working a day in the latent department, I have no interest in sitting down and trying to be creative.  It’s funny, I thought leaving the 12 hour shift, 4 on 4 off schedule of CPSIC would make blog writing easier… more part of my routine.  But the two day weekends fly by and I haven’t yet gotten into a good routine of having down time to go with running errands and writing.  

Anyway, things return now.  Though it’s a fairly short one this week.  While in Joe Batt’s Arm, and fairly housebound with strong winds and cold weather, I looked out to see a poor snail upon the back door mat.  The picture I took of this got me thinking… and I wrote this on my phone while exploring Riff’s store in the town of Fogo.  I did it simply to not forget the idea.  Intending to fill it out once I got back to Ottawa.  But sitting and looking it over, it seems to me that there’s nothing to add.

Helpless

Curse these handless hands

As I rap rapplessly at your door

Leaving stickiness to show my attempts

To get close to you

Making It Up As I Go Along #626

Seven or More

Them:

Enjoy your meal

Let me know 

Can I get anyone

Anything else?

Me:

I’m sorry

I never got

My orange juice

If you please

Them:

Oh so sorry

I’ll be right back

With your juice

And anyone else?

Them:

Here’s some water

For you all

To sip on

If need be

Me:

And my juice? 

It never came

Could I please

I’m oh so thirsty

Them:

Oh yes indeed

Right away

I’ll get that for you

So sorry

Them:

How’s everyone’s food?

To your satisfaction?

I do hope

Can I get anything for anyone?

Me:

For the love of God

I’m still waiting

What does it take 

To get a juice around here

 

MONDAY…

--- Eliminated in Monday night softball.  It was a good team that beat us but we played badly all the same.  Dumb mistakes.  It’s one thing to lose a game to a better team when you’ve both played well.  But when one of the teams doesn’t play as well as they are capable of, it leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

TUESDAY…

--- Regular type of work day.

WEDNESDAY…

--- Wednesday night ball wins in the semi’s and we’re on to the final next week.  This league is more recreational than the other and the team we played not as good, but still, we dropped down by seven or eight runs early and just didn’t worry about it.  Came back and scored the runs while we tightened the defence.  If anything, it’s as if the other team caved in the mental aspect of the game.  

--- Joined the team at the pub after tonight’s game.  I must have a way… a way to become invisible.  Anytime I’m with a group of more than six, my order gets screwed up at pubs and restaurants.  This time, my order vanished.  She went around the table.  Came to me… seemed to nod understanding of my order… and that was the end of that.  I wasn’t very hungry anyway and, by the time it became clear that my order wasn’t coming, I didn’t want it anyway… but it’s amazing how often I’m cast aside when it’s a group of people.  

THURSDAY…

--- Regular work day and I’m about two hours before I’m home for the night and ready to relax.  Between an accident that caused the highway to get shut down and traffic to increase elsewhere… then a trip to the vegetable stand, grocery store, liquor store, shwarma shop, and gas station, it’s a lot of running around.

FRIDAY…

--- Last time Kiyomi, Sarah and I will all work together in Latents.  I’m on evenings next week and Kiyomi leaves for CPSIC after that.  So we celebrate with bacon stackers at break time… I was going to say that, with fewer than seven of us, my order was fine.  But it just occurred to me that Derek (who joined us) had his order mixed up.  Three of our orders were made a the same time though… so it could be that I simply took Derek’s food.  Hmm.

SATURDAY…

--- Supper with Harley and family.  Nice to just stroll across the lawn to their place in flip flops.  Good meal outside on their patio and we sit and talk much of the evening after that. 

Making It Up As I Go Along #625

The Return of Sundays

Sundays are Sundays again

For years they vanished into shift work

Where each day varied 

One week Sunday’s Sunday

Next week it’s a Monday

But they’ve returned

The quiet of the day

The atmosphere of closed

Even though businesses remain open now

Habit makes them feel shut and dark

It feels as though I need a roast

Wafting through the house

With carrot and potato stovetopped and steaming

And a mother puttering about

Forking a vegetable and inspecting the meat

In fact, Sundays belong in Autumn

Summer Sundays blend in the memory 

Years of them being no different than a Saturday

But Fall Sundays are real Sundays

Where homework is put off for road hockey

First snows happen on those Sundays

White dust wooshing asphalt

Rippling as desert sands

In a rush up the street

Testing the manhood of us road hockey warriors

It’s on those days the roast taste best

Returning from hockey action 

Coldly sweaty and red with icy wind

The aroma beckons me through the door

And the food, moist and gravy soaked, warms me

Yes, shift work pulled me from these memories

The possibility of venturing to work

On a day meant for speeding through homework

Made Sundays near fiction in my mind

And nearly in the realm of the forgotten

But it has returned to my world

And even with August’s swelter

I’m left to think about warm roast

Road hockey

And the first wisps of snow  

MONDAY…

--- Play ball tonight.  Do alright.  Legs still feel a bit lead like… but get through ok.  Could have had two homers.  First one hooked a few feet foul.  Second one was the second of an inning… which, in this league, is an out.  Oh well, at least we win.

TUESDAY…

--- Work is work.

WEDNESDAY…

--- Half the office clears out for a few hours this afternoon.  A retirement luncheon for the officer running our section.  I don’t go.  Never had much dealing with the officer.  Fine enough guy but still, I always think that if I was the one retiring and I looked around the room of such a luncheon and thought how I never spoke to that one… and couldn’t even tell you the name of this one over there… I’d rather they not be there.  That’s just people using your day to get a break from work.

--- Play the other ball league again.  Mostly in the outfield and shortstop tonight and my calf holds up.  But once I’m home and cooled it is tired.  We lose this one… last game of the regular season.

THURSDAY…

--- Another work day.  Pretty normal times.

FRIDAY…

--- Quiet evening.  One thing with latent work, by the end of the week I’m mentally drained.  Staring intently at fingerprints five days a week wears you down some.  

SATURDAY…

--- Afternoon baseball on TV and then an evening out with Sarah for a few drinks and supper.  A nice evening on a patio… should probably try doing such stuff more often.

SUNDAY…

--- Late morning I’m out weeding the yards.  The sweat is pouring off me by the end of it.  It’s about 40 degrees with the humidity by late afternoon and, although it was cooler than that in the morning, I was still working away in above 30 humidex values.

Making It Up As I Go Along #624

Vine Bombs

The borders of my yard are vined

They’ve snaked from under neighbours fence

Writhing along the ground

Finding legs of furniture

Pushing up to flowers

Sneaking up to the air conditioner

They intertwine

Braiding themselves into dominance

In and out of the AC vents

I must start at the bottom

Yanking and pulling away

Undoing what has been knit

Encircling the furniture

Climbing a leg

Colonizing the back

I pull it away each day

Undoing the last days viney journey

And invading the flower beds

Using flowery stems and twigs

Strangling them as it climbs up

Breaking the flowery canopy

This is where I’m most careful

Tracing backwards towards the ground

Trying to distinguish vine from flower

Careful not to snip the wrong wire

Not wanting to blow up my flower bed

Sweat drips down my forehead

As the tension builds

While the vine fuse burns 

Ever closer to explosion

A race against time

Before my flowers become no more.

MONDAY…

--- Holiday Monday.  Nothing special planned though.  Just a pretty easy going home day.  I enjoy my house and neighbourhood too much sometimes.  The motivation to go out doing stuff is often just not there.

TUESDAY…

--- Work is fairly normal.

WEDNESDAY…

--- First game of ball in a month.  I take it pretty easy.  Wrap the calf, play 1st base, and have a courtesy runner after each hit.  Things feel good, no feeling of strain or weakness… but by the end of the game, my calf is getting tired.  Of course, the fact it was a 90 minute game didn’t help.  

THURSDAY…

--- Lunch across with Shannon.  Haven’t done that in a while… good way to break up work a bit.

--- Order a Gabriel’s Pizza tonight. Haven’t had one in ages.  Six months at least.  

FRIDAY…

--- Switch to evening shift for tonight.  It’s nice… quiet and few distractions.  I’d say I’m pretty open for business when it comes to switching shifts with people.  Doesn’t do my social life any favours but nice to be away from the distractions of day shift.

SATURDAY…

--- Lazy day at home.  I feel like I should go out walking but keep getting distracted by baseball and movies on TV.  Next thing I know, it’s past supper time when I’m ready to walk… and the problem with that is mosquitos could pick me up and fly away with me at that time of day… so I stay in.

SUNDAY…

--- Get the walk in today… after the baseball game.  Lots of birds on the go for pictures.

Making It Up As I Go Along #623

FRUIT FLIES

Dust alive

Floating 

Hovering

Invisible 

Until a banana reach scatters

Miniature copters of annoyance

Time warp lives

Generations in hours

The morning newborn

Becomes the evenings grandparent

Their entire world, a plate

With breadcrumbs as continents

And dabs of jam a life giving sea

MONDAY…

--- Skip ball again.  Thought I’d be playing this week but over did it a bit on Saturday and my calf is fairly tender again.  

TUESDAY…

--- Liking the hot weather.  Mom would hate it and my back lawn doesn’t enjoy it.  The backyard really heats up.  Between the shelter from the house and fences and the all day sun back there in the summer, the middle of my lawn is pretty much brown and dead now.  

WEDNESDAY…

--- Considered going to ball today but can still feel a bit of tightness in the leg… so caution wins out.

THURSDAY/FRIDAY…

--- Working away.  I’m tempted to take Friday off and have a four day weekend but I am good and go in anyway.  Still, end the day early… leave at 1:00 and go for drinks and a snack with Darren for a few hours.  

--- After the pub Friday there’s weird weather.  Driving home with the sun out and rain pouring down.  Lots of people caught out walking in it.

--- Blue Jays are really going for it in baseball.  Like the trades… and the excitement around the team.  A little afraid of what the pitching staff will look like in two or three years… all the young pitchers pretty much gone now.  But still it’s fun.

SATURDAY…

--- About an hour out walking.  Calf feeling fine.

SUNDAY…

--- More than an hour out today… though walked slower and took more pictures this time.  A young loon hanging out in the nearest pond to the house.  Not often do I see a loon out there.  

Making It Up As I Go Along #622

General Observations

--- My back yard has become a place of odd amphibian encounters.  Earlier in the week, a toad came to greet me each time I went outside.  Three times, that day, I’d walk out and onto the patio only to find the small toad bounding off the grass and next to me on the stones.  He was like a dog coming for a sniff of my hand in hopes of a little play.  

And just today, a tree frog.  As I’m putting my BBQ cover back on, I feel a brush against my foot.  Ignoring it as just a grasshopper ricocheting off me or perhaps a bumbling fly, I finish with what I’m doing.  My next step brings my foot against something soft upon my deck.  With just that touch, I lift up to see a tree frog.  He gave a small hop to give my foot some minimal leeway but seemed altogether unconcerned at the near squishing.  Slowly he moved over to the edge of my deck, posed for a few pictures.  And sits there still, an hour after our encounter, Comfortably tucked in between a few deck posts.

--- I would gladly set up a TD bank account if it would mean they’d remove that blasted commercial of the 50 something year old parents laid out in massage bliss as they take a call from their son.  They have got to be the most unappealing people on TV… taking the crown that was long held by the Trivago Guy.

--- Two twenty-four hour sports networks with five channels each is a complete waste of time.  Between them, we have ten channels of sports and, at any given time, those ten channels may show four different programs.  Sportsnet will give us four channels of the Blue Jays game with a channel of soccer and TSN will give four channels of a football game with one channel of some other soccer league.  Five channels are only worth our time is they broadcast five different things.  Otherwise they’re just wasting space on the crowded cable landscape… and this is coming from an actual sports fan.

--- I went through the entire Pan Am games, watching no more than ten minutes of coverage… total.  One of the few things I would have considered watching (the mens baseball final) wasn’t even on TV but only streamed on the internet.  The Pan Am games is minor league Olympics.

--- Orange and black construction pile ons are to the outside world what wet floor signs are to the inside one.  They have become permanent fixtures of a place rather than temporary warnings during times of work.  I really wish that, when work is done and reductions or caution is no longer needed, they’d go around and pick up their mess.  

--- The soccer player ‘injury’ is a World Wrestling moment within a beautiful game… fake and cheesy… leaving you slightly embarrassed to even be watching such over the top theatrics.  It has been made even more ridiculous by the world of HD video.  We get to see in slow motion, crystal clear detail, that no action occurred to warrant such ‘agony’.  

--- I am always shocked by the fact that so many Star Wars geeks hate episode I yet give episode II a  passing grade.  Although by no means a classic, Episode I had many fun scenes… while Episode II had the worst love story I’ve seen in movie history.  There is absolutely no good reason why Nathalie Portman’s character would want anything to do with whiny young Darth Vader and each of the two or three times I’ve watched that movie, I keep expecting some of those ‘romantic’ scenes to belong to a blooper reel.  I expect to hear “Cut! Let’s run that one again!”… yet somehow, the movie continues on without any redo’s at all.

--- The recent pictures of Pluto is one of the best things of my year.  When a kid, I had a poster of the galaxy that had Pluto included but with a note stating the image to be an artist conception.  Later I saw pixeled white blobs of Pluto.  Now it’s a real place in graphic detail… and it fascinates me.

WEEK…

--- All put together this time cause not much worth writing about happened on any give day.

--- Skipped both ball games again.  Calf feeling pretty good but being safe.  In fact I work it pretty hard on Saturday… do a 45 minute walk and include some jogging in that while also doing strengthening exercises on it three times through the day.  But then I wake Sunday with a fairly stiff and sore feel back there.  Not too worried.  The soreness is on the other side of the calf from where the injury happened.  So I think it was overdoing the exercises some causing little used muscles to wake up a little sore in the morning.

--- Friday I feel somewhat under the weather.  Wake with my throat a bit phlegmy and am at work with some hot and cold flashes and that feel that comes with sickness where it’s like you didn’t sleep at all.  By 9:30, I call it a day and head home to the sofa.  My energy is low Saturday morning but once I get out for my walk in the afternoon, it isn’t too bad.

Making It Up As I Go Along #621

Writing Day Distractions

First the internet goes

My Rogers world interrupted 

The commercials of connectivity perfection a lie

My Rogers home phone dead

My internet gone

Half my TV channels black

Only my Telus cellphone connects me to the world

And only from the end of my driveway

As my home remains a black hole for connection to the outside world.

And silently and without warning it returns

Nothing outwardly different

But five hours later, it all come back

Dial tone, wifi, Those extra TV channels

Where would we be without such things?

Most likely a better place

We’re connected to the point of distraction.

But then comes the alerts

A piercing siren through the television

Tornados in the area

A shower put on hold 

The internet, TV and phone now reminding us of good

Alerts and information in an instant

I watching upon my tablet

As the purple cell of doom

Dances across a satellite map 

And let two sides of the continent know

Son and brother is safe

And then as writing is about to commence

Darkness falls throughout the land

Rumbles of distant thunder

Like distant artillery at war time

I’m up to my windows

On edge as a dog knowing hell is descending

I wander outside

Listening and watching

Preparing for the deluge to come

But it rumbles by

Skies lighten

Pavement remains dry

And I sit to my tablet and keyboard

Deciding blogs don’t write themselves

And I tap away

Still periodically distracted by those miles off artillery shells

That bring nothing but anticipation.

MONDAY…

--- Skip ball. I'm still hobbling a fair bit with my calf. 

--- Evening shift at work is a good change though.  Get away from the crowd and distractions. 

TUESDAY…

--- Not much out of the ordinary. 

WEDNESDAY…

--- Calf still getting better. Do a walk at break at work with Brenda. No speed record but I can manage it with minimal problems. Just a little tightness and tiredness in the leg. 

THURSDAY…

--- Get some groceries before work. Little else going on. 

FRIDAY…

--- Kind of annoying day. Decide to organize some music on the laptop. Got a few new vinyl albums, one with a CD included and another with a digital download of the album… Plus Wilco put their latest album on their website for free download (cause they're the best band going). Anyway, my laptop is very slow and fussy today… It basically takes four hours of working on it to get those three albums put into my iTunes and onto my phone. I don't want to buy a new laptop but can't deal with much of this kind of work.  And as I'm working on this, lots of construction vehicles keep going back and forth outside the front of the house. So its noisy as well as annoying. 

--- To work and straight into priority work. Got to get through it tonight so it's pretty intense work for the majority of the shift tonight. 

SATURDAY…

--- Able to do a half hour walk. First one out at the woods and ponds since I hurt my calf. This is the longest I went without going across the street to walk. Ten days. It was nice to get out there. I have to be careful with not overdoing it though. My calf is fairly weak compared to normal. 

Making It Up As I Go Along #620

I’m Not Supposed to Be Here

I’m not supposed to be here

July is family time

On Pacific coast 

Under tree giants

In the east

Wandering coastal trails

Or preparing for Europe

Solidifying plans for adventures to come

Regardless the place

I’m not supposed to be here

Ontario mid Julys are rare

This is my sea time

My view should be of mountains

Wandering Nelson bookshops

Patioing evenings with childhood friends

Sitting aboard ferries with an eye for whale

I’m meant to be elsewhere

Where evening games of cards bring family rivalry

Us against Them

Doublechecking the score

To be sure cheating isn’t ongoing

Where sleep comes with salty breezes

Ruffling window shears

In a full home of family

But this year I’m here

No mountains planned for visits

Rocky home several months away

The evening thunder rumbles humidity away

And another workweek starts tomorrow

Tonights sleep will be vaulted in artificial cool

In my own bed

In my own home

But isolated

Julys are never alone months

This is a time of gathering together

But not this year

And the thunder rumbles more distantly now

Leaving me behind 

As it rolls towards Montreal. 

MONDAY…

--- Lose ball in a fairly choke fashion.  Up by five or six going into the last inning and boot a few balls and low and behold… we lose by one.  I don’t need to win every game I play… but choke losses are horrible.  Especially when people on the team try to forget the choke part and talk about how we played a good game anyway.  There is a time, in sports, to just shut up.

TUESDAY…

--- Not much out of the ordinary… work day in Latents.

WEDNESDAY…

--- Well three weeks after a hamstring injury, I’m hurt again.  Strain a calf muscle in softball tonight.  So I only got one healthy game in between injuries.  Very frustrating and makes one just want to forget about playing sports… except maybe golf… that looks fairly safe.

THURSDAY…

--- Hobble to work.  I’m walking like an old man ready for a hip replacement.  

FRIDAY…

--- Calf is getting a bit better each day.  Still slow going and a limp but reduced anyway.

SATURDAY…

--- Feeling ok.  Still walking very slowly but the limp isn’t so bad and I can get about on the stairs much better.

--- Out with some friends to celebrate Kiyomi’s birthday.  A nice evening at the Mill Street Pub.  I don’t do that kind of thing enough really.  

Making It Up As I Go Along #619

Pet Toad

Sometimes I want to catch a toad

Like in rhymes caught by the toe

Make a home in my backyard

With extra fencing so he won’t go.

Grasshoppers, worms and insects

There’d be plenty there for food

I’d even find him before I mow

To mow my pet would be rude.

But then I think no toad would like

To be confined by my big fence

Not with toad world across the street

His forested world that’s so immense.

So I resist a capture of a pet

I leave him to carry on his way

For in a way this forest is my yard

Perhaps I’ll see him again some day.

MONDAY…

--- Start of a short week.  There was talk I’d have to go back to CPSIC for a bit to cover for a team, but find out today that this won’t be the case and so instead of working there on Thursday and Friday, I’m taking them off.

TUESDAY…

--- Friday on a Tuesday is ok by me.  I don’t miss much about CPSIC, but I do miss the four days off.  I’ll be off five days now with the Canada Day holiday… so it’ll be like old times for the first time in a couple of months.

WEDNESDAY…

--- Canada Day is fairly easy going for me.  Hang around the house much of the day.  Watch baseball on TV… Check out some pretty stormy weather blowing through.  Then it’s over to Harley’s for supper next door.  Meet his daughter and granddaughter and have a nice evening with good friends.

THURSDAY…

--- Like old CPSIC times on my days off.  Quiet times… go for a walk across the street… mow the lawns.  Pretty peaceful.

--- I am being driven crazy by mosquito bites though.  They never much bothered me as a kid but it seems every year older I get, they love sucking my blood more and more.  And my body reacts to it worse each year.  This week I got a bite on my palm that drove me nuts for days and now there’s one on the inside of my index finger that irritates me every time that finger happens to rub my middle finger.

FRIDAY…

--- Another walk today.  Much like yesterday.  I do see the biggest toad I’ve seen since moving here.  This one is out on the street too.  I convince him to lumber up to the sidewalk and make his way over to the woods.  I don’t think he’d have done well with passing cars.

SATURDAY…

--- No walk today.  Largely to let mosquito bites settle down.  So another around the house kind of day.  It does make me miss the CPSIC life more actually.  Being away from the work place beyond regular two day weekends is a nice thing.  To get up without the use of alarm clocks… to go for groceries when everyone else is at work… To be able to hang out in one of my favourite places more often.  It’s good.  Still, the work in CPSIC was becoming a bit too routine after five and a half years… and being off shift is good on the body.  But I won’t rule out maybe heading back to the old department in a year or two.

 

Making It Up As I Go Along #618

Social Media

Social media.  It enables us to basically treat all things in life the same.  No matter the issue, we can all just pull out our phone, open the Facebook app, and share.

Maybe this is a good thing.  But it often doesn’t feel like it to me.  Too often it either elevates the mundane to the standards of the extraordinary.  Or brings down the important things in life to equal footing with the forgettable.  It promotes the mentality of sheep.  And makes it hard to decipher between sincere thoughts and ideas from just going along with the crowd.  

And again, maybe this doesn’t really matter.  Perhaps it’s a good thing to be able to share with friends and family so easily.  It’s just… there’s always something to jump on board of.  And again, this just seems to cheapen the important things.

As for examples.  The big one over the last year or so must be the ALS ice bucket challenge.  Yes it was for a noble cause.  Record amounts of money was raised to fund research into the disease.  But it became too much.  I couldn’t log on to Facebook or Twitter without seeing someone else dumping a bucket of water over their heads.  Sometimes the dumpers failed to even mention why they were doing the dumping.  And you could only assume that they actually gave money to the cause.

But after a while I became uncomfortable with the amount of first world waste that event brought.  I kept imagining third world people learning about the cause.  And the shock on their faces when they were told bags of ice were purchased in stores… brought home… poured into a bucket of water… and immediately dumped over the purchaser’s head, left to melt on the ground.

The cheering of sports teams is another example.  I watch sports.  I cheer for particular teams.  And if something substantial happens in the game I may also post about it on social media.  But really… “Go (insert team name here) Go!”  I really don’t need to see a dozen Facebook friends posting that on my news feed.  

A quiz can be fun sometimes.  And usually they sprint through the social media feeds pretty quickly.  Plus it can be a quick amusement to find out what Game of Thrones character you would be… or who your best friend on Facebook actually is.  

No, for me, it’s when the important aspects of life get the Facebook treatment that causes me cringes and sighs.  Because suddenly a life threatening disease takes on the life of hockey team support.  A claim of supporting the troops is equal to finding out the answer to the above mentioned Game of Thrones character quiz.  

An all encompassing platform simply becomes too much.  On one log in to your news feed you can see how one friend is wishing prayers to the family of a slain police officer while the next friend is sharing a video about cats.  The next friend is telling all about the death of a parent while the one after that is talking about how exciting it was to be a part of their “bestie’s” wedding.  I love this hockey team… I hate immigrants… share this if you support the troops… like this if you remember the Flinstones.  

So many conflicting thoughts and ideas.  You can be sad, happy, excited, or angry all with the swipe of your finger as you browse your news feed.

That’s why, when this week I started seeing people turning their profile pictures into rainbow hued images of gay marriage support, I couldn’t help but think “here we go again.”  The avalanche of rainbow coloured friends had begun.  And my first thought was towards the Simpsons.  When, at a baseball game on pretzel day, irate fans began pelting the field with their salted, breaded treats.  First one… followed by thousands.

Personally, I don’t care if two gay people get married.  I also don’t care if two heterosexual people get married.  And, in Canada, same sex marriage has been a thing for ten years now.  Sure I can understand the significance of the United States finally coming on board with the idea.  But I can’t say I was jumping over the moon about it.  I mean it’s been ten years already.  I know same sex couples.  I don’t see them any differently than any other couple.  So I’m hardly going to take part in the rainbow extravaganza on Facebook now simply because a foreign country has finally caught up with the times.  

And after the wave of rainbows, I begin to see my newsfeed become infused with angry same sex marriage supporters.  Angry because there are people out there who aren’t excited about this event.  The celebration of love suddenly became hostile.  The lovers trying to shame the rest for their lack of enthusiasm.  

So it’s safe to say that social media leaves me conflicted.  I enjoy its ability to give me a snapshot of what a friend of family member is doing or thinking.  Last week I was able to watch the reaction of my cousin as he sat second row at the 18th green of the US Open… and I laughed as he “Oooo’d” in shock at Dustin Johnson’s missed putt.  

I enjoy seeing images of home.  I like watching a video of the birds eating seed in a miniature pub.  And I find it interesting to see friends at concerts or to hear their thoughts on events in the news.

But at the same time, I hate how social media can trivialize everything.  How it’s made as easy to show support for something important as it is to show a picture of what you’re having for dinner.  And I don’t like the sameness social media can create.  This I dislike the most.  To see dozens of people all falling into line.  A world of sheep is a pretty boring place.

What I did enjoy, in regards to the same sex marriage news, was the few stories shared by some.  Those stories that make it more human than a rainbow filter on a picture.  Where senior parents of gay adult children leap with joy at the thought that their child can now have the same rights in love that anybody else has.  Share that kind of story all day long.  I won’t get tired of that.  

I think if social media was a place where nobody could “share” links to other people’s stories it would be so much better.  If all you could do was write your own thoughts or show pictures and videos of your own experiences (and no, a selfie in front of a landmark is not an experience of that landmark), wouldn’t a tool like Facebook be so much better?  I’d sacrifice knowing what Game of Thrones character I’m most like if it meant I could see the true thoughts and experiences of the people in this world I most care about.  That’s the social media I want.

MONDAY…

--- Skip ball this week to rest the hamstring.  It’s improving but not where it needs to be.

TUESDAY…

--- Not much out of the ordinary.

WEDNESDAY…

--- Skip the Wednesday ball as well this week.  Hamstring getting better each day but still not enough.

THURSDAY…

--- Want to do a walk after work today but just too tired to do it.  Haven’t slept in for months now… though do sleep at least six hours each night (on CPSIC shift I’d be more like a four hour sleep during work and seven hours on days off).  

FRIDAY…

--- Got to cave in and put on the headphones at work today.  In CPSIC, I grew accustomed to not listening to music and podcasts while I work.  Too many other things going on and I never wanted to risk missing a phone call due to headphones.  But now, in Latents, I’ve got to do it again.  Too many people talking and too open an office concept.  You can easily hear a half dozen conversations at a time from either my department or the one next to ours.  I have no idea why anyone in management thought it was a good idea to pair up work that demands concentration with an open office concept.  Somebody was really not thinking this through.

--- Get out walking around after work.  Funny how I’m usually more energetic on the Fridays each week rather than the Thursdays.  Order Chinese food for supper.  They’re getting pretty bad at delivering the food.  The last time they were a good twenty minutes late bringing it.  This time they tell me it’ll be 45 minutes.  It ends up taking an hour and a half.  Good thing I didn’t have any plans.

SATURDAY…

--- Afternoon baseball on TV.  Left over Chinese for supper.  A walk as well.  A relaxing day.

Making It Up As I Go Along #617

Bird Chatter

What say the birds

Atop sun drenched branches

Looking down upon green meadows

Under a blanket of blue sky

Is it songs of joy?

Pleased for the summer sun

Calling to neighbours in song

“What a glorious day it is!”

Are they  songs of alarm?

Warning those on nearby trees

While rushing back to nestlings

“Intruder! Intruder there! Look out everyone!”

Maybe territorial disputes?

Happy sounding tweeting

Actually heated arguing

“This tree is mine! Get out of here crow!”

Most likely it is all of these things

The sounds of an avian city

The chatter of life

Gossip, love, fear and happiness

My favourite songs are the distant ones

Drifting from deeper within the woods

Where the birds sing unaware

Knowing only of their neighbourhood goings on

As I eavesdrop and wonder about the tree top conversations.

MONDAY…

--- Pull a hamstring at softball.  Not too bad but enough to get me off the field and call for a pinch runner after jogging to first when I hit.

TUESDAY…

--- Hamstring improving already.  Some ice after work and taking it pretty easy.  

WEDNESDAY…

--- Skip the Wednesday softball to work on the hamstring.  Do a half hour walk with no problem but it’s still tender and a bit tight.

THURSDAY…

--- Forty minute walk today.  The hamstring continues to improve.

FRIDAY…

--- Tired after work today.  Swing by the grocery store after work and am surprised to run in to Sarah there.  In a bigger city, running in to anybody that you know is unusual.  Doing it with someone you consider a friend is a little treat in the day.

--- No walk today.  Nap a bit and mow the lawns after I get home from the grocery store and work.

SATURDAY…

--- Wake and glance at the clock thinking it says 8:55.  And I have a relaxed sigh thinking it’s nice to have my first sleep in since leaving CPSIC and shift work.  On second look, I see that it’s actually 6:55… but there’s no rolling over at this point.

--- Go for an hour and fifteen minute walk.  It’s perfect out.  Blue sky, light breeze, 22 degrees.  Take a few pictures and several videos in the creeks where tadpoles and fish are active.  There’s something great about being outside in a place where people and machinery are not the dominant noise makers.  Instead I hear the birds through the trees and long grasses, the scuffling of my boots over the hard baked dirt, and the gentle breath of summer air into my ears.

--- Afternoon baseball on TV.  Saturday afternoon Blue Jay games are almost too painful to watch from the point of view of the distraction around the game.  The game is almost secondary on Saturday telecasts.  Instead we get constant reminders of Junior Jays Saturdays… with kids on TV as much as the game on the field.  We hear kids posing as public address announcers and have in stand TV guys interviewing prostrate cancer survivors while the play goes on.  When I was a kid, it was enough to simply take us to the games.  We didn’t need to be thrown on TV or given a microphone.  And yes, prostrate cancer is a cause worth taking on… but I don’t know why a sporting event is so often chosen as a platform for such causes.

--- Today is the 40th anniversary of the release of Jaws.  It’s actually being played at the Mayfair this afternoon.  Maybe I should have gone rather than have a relaxing day around home.  The Jaws sequels were unnecessary and silly.  But the original is a terrific movie.  Sure the mechanical shark doesn’t look real and the story is unrealistic.  But the cinematography and acting is amazing.  And little gems… like a shooting star that was caught while filming.  I’d think the original Jaws is one of my five favourite movies.     

 

Making It Up As I Go Along #616

The Things I Miss

Vacations are just not plentiful enough.  Too many choices have to be made for people in situations like mine.  I  live in one city alone… have parents and family in my home city, thousands of kilometres away… and a sister and her family in another city, even more thousands of kilometres away… in the opposite direction.  Choices have to be made.  Two visits can not be combined into one.  And there are limits.

This year, thanks to carrying over some extra time off from my CPSIC days, I’ll have 6.5 weeks of vacation time.  And that sounds good.  Seems like plenty.  But when I plan things out, it whittles away quickly.

I’ve booked two weeks off for September.  A flight home is already purchased and reservations on Fogo Island made.  And, with that, I’m down to 4.5 weeks of vacation to go.

Set aside another couple of days I plan to take off for a five day weekend around Canada Day, and I’m pretty much at 4 weeks remaining.  

Christmas will take a bite.  At least one and maybe two weeks will go towards that.  Leaving me with two or three weeks for the rest of the year.  The parents are likely coming in October and some time will go towards that and a week will likely be used up in the height of winter drudgery, either for snowshoeing or a get away to the sunny south.  

All of this sounds fine and good except for the fact that I haven’t visited my sister yet.  And when is the time to do it?  September, October, December are all accounted for from a time off point of view.  Do I dare try to squeeze in a week or two during August?  Or am I resigned to wait the better part of another year… and next spring’s thaw?  

There simply doesn’t seem to be enough vacation days in my bank, nor months in the year for me to arrange that extra trip.

And all of this leaves out the consideration of travel.  Heavy duty environmentalists would hate me.  My average year probably has three, sometimes four trips in it.  All these trips taking place via plane.  I sometimes imagine the burnt jet fuel that has been sacrificed for me.  

It all brings me to the things I miss most.  They are little things.  Not brought about by the fireworks of Disney.  Not breaking into scheduled TV programming to be shared as soon as possible to the throngs.  

I miss the simple visits of family.  To pop by the parents house on a Sunday afternoon, check in to see that all remains well… stay for a ball game on TV… decide to stick around for a home cooked meal.  All family time that costs virtually nothing.  No booking of a flight.  No sacrificing of valuable vacation time.  Just a few hours of family, slipped in to the routine of life.

I’ve barely had such times with my sister.  The great majority of my adult life has been spent with us on opposite ends of the continent.  A Sunday pop by has never happened between us.  All visits have had to become routine stopping events.  Flights must be planned.  Time off booked.  Guest rooms made up.  

Our visits are always good, happy occasions.  But I’d love them to be able to become routine.  To be bored at home on a Sunday and decide to pop by.  Or to casually suggest a lunch on a Tuesday… just because.  

It isn’t just the routine of family that I miss.  But the routine of place as well.  I love where I grew up.  The hills that surround St. John’s.  The smell of the sea air.  The maze of hilly streets downtown.  

I also miss more.  The barren lands just outside the city.  Where car and house sized boulders are left strewn about as reminders of its glacial past.  The constant foam of sea that breaks just outside the harbour mouth of Joe Batts Arm.  Even the reddish tinge of the dirt in and around Botwood.  I’d remember seeing that dirt from my backseat window on drives to my grandparents and it would tell me that summer was here… that evenings would end with bowls of fresh picked blueberries, drowned in milk and topped with sugar.  And mornings would begin with my grandmother gently suggesting I start my day with some home made porridge.

I miss the casualness of an exploration of Fred’s Records.  Where it would be ok to pick up some music.  But also a fine time even if I don’t.  To just flip through CDs and LPs and listen to the music playing in the store speakers.

I miss movie nights with long time buddies.  And Friday evening phone calls with friends where we would just say “why not come on over.”  

My trips home are much less routine and much more planned events now that I no longer live there.  Reservations are made with friends for lunches or evenings together.  I’m no longer a part of their regular life routine and so my times in town must be announced and fitted into schedules.  

A checklist of things to do is often discussed and planned with mom and dad.  A trip to Bidgoods for a nice lunch.  A drive out to Cape Spear.  A visit across town to uncle Wince’s.  Or a pop in to the closer uncle Wayne.  

Most trips home include a few days on Fogo.  Where I can check to make sure the sea still foams outside the harbour and relax, for a few days, with memories of warm bread and jam tart, while my grandmother puttered about the kitchen.  

That kitchen remains, but in a strangers house now.  These days, we have to book reservations to stay on Fogo.  Calling well enough in advance to be able to get our rooms.  It remains good and something I treasure.  But I miss the ease and casualness of those family visits there, decades ago.

And Botwood often is cut out of my plans entirely.  For a two week trip home only comes with so many days.  I dislike the need of prioritizing actions while home.  To have to try and balance the amount of time I spend in St. John’s versus going out into rural Newfoundland.  To try to fit in family visits with those of friends.  

In fact, I almost have to go about scheduling quiet times around the house on visits home.  Those times where I go nowhere.  Where I sit in the living room and look out at the old neighbourhood… with memories of long gone dogs, propped up on the back of the sofa, next to me, watching the world go by as I scratch their backs.  Where I wander the back yard with thoughts of soccer matches with teams of neighbourhood kids and games of catch when only a few of us were about.

It’s those quiet times around the house I miss.  Because it is then that a trip home seems almost routine.  And it is then that those trips feel most like home.        

MONDAY…

--- Softball looked like a rain out for much of the day.  But things cleared a few hours before game time and we got it in.  8-7 win with me on the mound.  A tight game is always more fun than a blow out.

TUESDAY…

--- Not much going on other than work.

WEDNESDAY…

--- Where Monday looked bad all day but turned for the game to get in, today looked good much of the day but then turned to rain us out.  

THURSDAY…

--- Not much once again.

FRIDAY…

--- Take it easy around the house after work.  Do a 40 minute walk right after work but then it’s just some TV and napping.  

SATURDAY…

--- Get the driveway sealed.  And pop over to Harley and family’s place for supper in the evening.  Stay around in their backyard talking until after ten.  A nice evening.

Making It Up As I Go Along #615

Grackle Invasion

It was a Robin neighbourhood

With muted chirps and songs

Gentle hops through grasses

As couples raised families among us.

Smaller visitors would scoot through

Warblers and wrens 

Popping by for a quick visit

Before continuing on in chirpy peace.

But the Grackles have moved in

Robin family evicted

Replaced by the trash

Chacking loudly from rooftop perches

Where Robin mates longingly beckon

Grackles are teenage thugs

Street cornered on fence posts

Pausing from Grackle smokes

Long enough to catcall passers by

MONDAY…

--- Blown out in ball.  First lose of the season between two different teams… so not the end of the world.  But not a game that’s very enjoyable.  And it always drives me nuts to give up a tonne of runs and then have a player on the team talk about how we played pretty good defensively.  Just too stupid.

TUESDAY…

--- Regular work day.  Not much else going on.

WEDNESDAY…

--- Wings with Christine before our ball game.  We even go to the field early and hit the ball around a bit.  A good game.  We probably won as big today as we lost on Monday.

THURSDAY…

--- Much like Tuesday.  

FRIDAY…

--- Exhausted after work.  This latent work runs me down through a week.  It’s pretty intense.  Just relax in the evening.

SATURDAY…

--- I can’t sleep in anymore.  A problem with the switch to straight days instead of mixing in the overnight shift.  I’m up by 7:00 this morning.  Awake even earlier than that.

--- No walk today but I do mow and weed the lawns.  The mowing isn’t much of an effort on so little grass but when the weeding is added to the mix, it tires me out some… and I spend much of the rest of the afternoon snoozing on the sofa.

--- Out to the movies with a few friends tonight.  The new Mad Max movie is a load of action and quite entertaining.

Making It Up As I Go Along #614

Inner Ringing

The inner ringing.

Always there

An electrical hum

In whispered tone

Background noise

Through inner thoughts

And the outside clatter

Unnoticed soundtrack 

Of my life

Intensified with exhaustion

Dream caused wake

Brings out the ring

To the forefront 

3:00 AM darkness

Conjured more disturbing

As the ringing drifts

Enveloping darkest corners

Of an already dark night

Until morning wake comes

Returning the ominous

To whispered background

Once more unnoticed

As I stretch away the night

And yawn in a new day 

The familiar soundtrack

The hum of my silence

Far from late night fears 

MONDAY…

--- Ball is rained out tonight.  I’m alright with that.  I’ve reached a point in my softball days where if it isn’t nice and warm outside, I’d rather not play.  Gone are the days of fastpitch finals occurring in October back home… and playing on fields that frosted over as the innings went.

TUESDAY…

--- Was going to go to the Mad Max movie after work… but postponed for a week.  So I do a good walk after I get home.  A nice part of working the eight hour days instead of the twelves.  Time to do other stuff after I get home.

WEDNESDAY…

--- Ball is a go this evening.  Meet Christine for wings prior to the action.  Ate too much for the amount of running around I did.  Hit lead off and scored the first four times I got up… so lots of running left wings feeling cranky in my belly.

THURSDAY…

--- Pretty quiet after work.  Tired and not feeling too energetic.  

FRIDAY…

--- After doing the morning testing at work, I take the afternoon off sick.  Headache and a bit of a lead feeling stomach made rest at home sound better than concentrating on messy fingerprints at work.  By supper time I starting to feel more myself.

SATURDAY…

--- Close to an hour walk in the late morning.  Lots of rain keeps me in the house for the afternoon.  Laundry and TV make up the bulk of the afternoon.  Falling asleep on the sofa in the early evening.  One thing about the no shift, my night owl times are taking a hit.  Most nights I want to go to bed before midnight.  And I haven’t slept past 8:00 since coming off the CPSIC shift.  

--- I did wake up just before 3:00 AM Sunday morning and felt unsettled.  Kind of disturbing dreams blend into foggy reality.  I force myself into a better reality by turning on the light and checking out things on my iPad.  

Making It Up As I Go Along #613

Haven’t posted in a few weeks.  Lots been going on over that time frame.  The parents came for a visit.  Life was less than normal for a few days with a medical procedure.  Left CPSIC at work.  Been training for the Latent Fingerprint department.  Playing ball again.  Walks. Groceries.  Fossil hunts.  All sorts of things.

I couldn’t take time off with mom and dad when they visited.  Going to Latent training made that an impossibility.  I was off for about half of their trip but the majority of that time off had me preparing for, going through, and recovering from a fairly routine medical procedure.  It was great having mom and dad around for that.  To have them available to help out getting me food and drink… and to have dad driving while I was still a bit loopy on meds.  

It was also good having them around when I’d get home from work.  They cleaned the house from top to bottom.  I’d have been happier hearing them say they took a bus downtown to explore or shop.  But I appreciate the work they did do.  Home made meals also were a nice treat.  I rarely cook a regular meal.  Food preparation for one often just doesn’t seem worth it to me.  So to come home with a meal in the works for three of us was a nice thing.  And the frozen meals left behind from their visit come as a reminder of family by way of supper.

When mom and dad are here and I’m not taking time off work, it makes the visit feel more part of my routine.  So dropping them at the airport and returning to an empty house felt weird and a bit lonely.  

With that, there is no weekly portion to this one.  Just too much stuff over too long a period of time.  

Journeys

They came to be millions of years ago

At the bottom of an extinct sea

Some miles from here

Filtering extinct waters for extinct meals

Others sat anchored to rock

Swaying leafy branches

In long ago currents

Part of a long forgotten environment

And another fluttering through the ancient kelps

Searching out food

Hiding from predators

Trying to attract mates

A deposit of silt buried them all

Poured off continents of ice

Settling down into the deep

Like a gently falling snow

Millennia of silt past

Ice retreated

Seas drained

And sea floors become land

And in layers of sedimentary rock

They remain hidden

Ancient clams, plants and trilobites

Turned to stone within a grave a stone

I came to be decades ago

Thousands of miles away

Atop a rocky land

Sea winds whipping my blonde locks haphazardly about.

Growing up brought me here

Miles from this place

Working and living 

Unaware of their existence

Machines unearthed their graves

Broke up their rocky resting places

Transported them here

And dumped them as haphazardly as the wind with my hair.

And here they sit

Exposed for the first time to air

Thousands of miles from any sea

So long encased in rock that it is what they’ve become

And at this time I moved here

Blonde locks long gone

For several years walking over them

Unaware of their presence.

Until one day I photographed a bug

Had it landed on a different stone I’d have missed them

Without a zoom lens I’d never have tried the shot

Once downloaded to my computer it all changes

I return to the place with new eyes

Bend low to search them out

Recognizing muddy ripples in rock

Deposited by long ago currents

On long ago sands

And carefully I pick some out

Gently carry them home

Afraid my ten minute walk will destroy

What millions of years of geology created.

Making It Up As I Go Along #612

The Filling

I see it enter

Lowering into my pried jaws

Little more in girth than a sewing needle

My heart quickens in terror

By command of a masked man

It whirs into action

Suddenly needle feels as tunnel bore

My tooth sure to explode under the pressure

“Open wider”

Commanded as assistant inserts vacuum

Spit flooding the back of throat

I’m likely to drown if the drill doesn’t get me first

My tongue pleads “no more”

Mindlessly drifting towards the attack

Masked man pushes it away

With a great iron stick

With each squeal of the drilling device

Pain is expected

The freezing untrusted

To give out at the worst possible moment

With the drill removed a breath

I swallow quickly

It’s as a submerged drowner

Breaking the surface with gasps moments before exploding lungs

And then the metal hook

A pick inserted into the great cavern

I know the nerves live there

I expect a piercing and yanking of a skewered pulpy mass

The pain never comes

The freeze has worked… this time

I’ve survived the attack

And curse every piece of food and drink that brought me to this masked man’s chair

SATURDAY/SUNDAY…

--- Working alone this block.  Alone in CPSIC on a weekend isn’t a bad thing.  Not overly busy.  Quiet office.

MONDAY…

--- Pizza picked up on the way to work.  There’s enough to do but not so much that I’m overrun tonight.  Get the majority of the main stuff clued up by 1:00 AM or so. 

TUESDAY…

--- Not far off last night work wise.  Close to the same.  So overall a decent block alone.

WEDNESDAY…

--- Up too early.  Only about four hours sleep.  To the dentist for some work on a filing.  The dentist has actually become my biggest fear over the last few years.  My teeth don’t freeze well.  Last time I had fillings they had to freeze me three or four times during the procedure.  This time, they used the freezing agent normally set aside for root canals.  And the majority of the time my heart was beating pretty hard as I constantly expected the next second of drilling would cause excruciating pain.  Plus I’m constantly wanting to swallow while they work.  And I fear I’ll give in to the urge and do it just at a vital second… causing the drill to carve a hole in my tongue.

--- After the horrors of dentistry, I’m off to Mazda.  The old lease is up and good ol’ silver Mazda 3 is getting turned in… for brand new red Mazda 3.  It’s the first time I have some sadness switching cars.  To see the silver one left in the lot, no longer there to take me around… gave me pause.  But the new one is nice.  More perks than the old and a lower lease payment per month to boot.

THURSDAY…

--- Do a walk and some yard work.  Fairly quiet day.

FRIDAY…

--- A long walk today.  Out for about an hour and a half.  Also run to the bank and drug store, little trip to the liquor store.  And I slept well last night.  First eight hour night in a long time.

--- The robins appear to have nested next door this year.  I think they’ve taken over a cedar bush in Harley’s backyard.  Nice to see the pair around (not that it’s the same pair as last year but very similar actions).  But I feel a little left out.  Was sort of hoping for another BBQ invasion.

--- Supper out with Jennifer.  I think it’s the first time I’ve gotten together with her that Karl hasn’t come up in conversation.   Not that he was far from mind.  Fish tacos are a tasty meal I haven’t had in several years.

--- Montreal vs. Tampa hockey round out the night.  Goes to double overtime and is a pretty good game.  But the wrong team wins.  Not sure if Montreal will be able to put together enough offence against this team.