Making It Up As I Go Along #291

MONDAY...
— Hot. Sunny and 25 and it’s October 22nd? Who’d have thunk it. Go across for lunch with Melissa and Megan and hang out outside with Melissa and Laura at the second break.
— Training Jenn at AFIS. It’s kind of nice taking on a bit of an extra duty... even if just an hour or so each day for a week.
— Back is still touchy but I do an hour long walk tonight anyway.

TUESDAY...
— More training and some alone time in AFIS to end the shift. Most people head to the officers mess at 2:00 for a little gathering. Lisa and I stay back in AFIS instead. Just as good.

WEDNESDAY...
— Tired day. Still training Jenn, and Melissa and I order Greek for lunch today.
— Some baseball and hockey on TV as I’m too tired to do much else tonight.

THURSDAY...
— Tired at work even though I’m sleeping well this week. Just not getting enough sleep I guess.
— A walk in the evening and some TV to end out the night.

FRIDAY...
— Work is fine. Still training and still pretty tired until lunch. A fire drill has Melissa, Megan, Laura, Leslie and me hanging outside. And Melissa and I pick up poutine for lunch for Megan and us.
— A night at the movies gets called off... so it’s a quiet night around the house... which is fine. A small nap and some relaxing.

SATURDAY...
— Rainy day. Lazy around the house for much of it. Over to Sheila’s for the hockey game and pizza with her and Nicole. Then off to downtown with Sheila to meet Nick and his crew for his birthday. Melissa, and Megan and her husband make it a good time. I chauffeur Megan, Bruce and Sheila home and unwind a bit before bed.

October 27
Went out last night. It’s not often that I hit the bars of downtown Ottawa. I’ve never been much of a bar scene kind of guy. But I must say, the odd time I went to the bars in St. John’s... it felt like a natural part of the community. Doing it in Ottawa... it’s like being around geeks trying to be cool. Ottawa just isn’t a night life type of town.

But it’s Nick’s birthday and I agree to go out with a bunch of people. And we hit an okay bar that sits down in the bowels of a couple of other bars. And that... having a bar within a bar... is at least an attempt at cool.

This is a mess of Irish bars. But that doesn’t really qualify on a night like tonight. From our little hide away, we can hear the music from upstairs... and there’s nothing Irish about it. For me, this is a good thing. I’d rather listen to rock music than Irish music any day. Being from St. John’s, you either go nuts loving Irish music... or nuts pulling your hair out at the sound of Irish music. And if you’ve seen my head... you know which category I fall in to.

Something else occurs to me while we’re at the bar. I may very well be the oldest person in the place. There’s a bit of talk among our crowd about ages. And, among us, I do reign supreme. Scanning the rest of the bar, I may have them all beat.

It’s a weird feeling when you are the oldest person in the bar. It sort of makes you feel like you should make your way home... put on a cup of tea... and watch the late night news. Let the young ones party, got to get home to bed.

But I’m stuck. I’m actually being the responsible one... I’m the driver. So it’s more like I’m the chaperon. I have to make sure things don’t get out of hand and that the kiddies get home safe.

As drinking progresses, you hear little things. People who are five years younger than me talking to people who are ten years younger than me about how they’re so old. Then a glance may come my way with laughter... or I may make a joke of it myself. And I’m left wondering how I got here!

As the drinking keeps going, the designated driver becomes more uncool. Those very obviously unable to drive expect those who still can to understand the joke that consists of squinty eyes and poking someone in the shoulder. But for the sober, the hilarity is missed... and they shake their head at your stiffness... and go back to shoulder poking.

Even those not consuming the booze need to hit the bathroom. And so I venture in wondering if it’ll be full or empty, clean or a sewer room that’s ready for more waste to be dumped wherever you please.

Fortunately, it’s clean. Surprisingly, because before I go in I forget that it’s the weekend before Halloween, I walk in on two gorillas standing back to back at the urinals. That is to say, two guys dressed up in gorilla costumes are having a wee. It’s a bit surreal.

While I still wait, one gorilla goes to wash his hands... he checks himself out in the mirror and comments to his gorilla friend about his gorilla nipples.

A stall opens and a guy dressed as a nerd (costume nerd that is) comes out. Well I guess my Vancouver Canucks hat will have to do as far as my costume goes. I move along to do my business.

The night continues on. As the guys get more drunk, they get more bold trying to hit on Megan. Her husband stands there, secure... and Megan rolls eyes from time to time.

Once the sleeper holds come out among the boys... and the birthday boy nears unconsciousness, we decide to leave. So Sheila, Megan, Bruce and I head for the car... much to the disappointment of those drunks looking to get lucky with the married woman.

We ride through the night... through quite streets of windswept leaves that remind you of the spookiness of the season. A sea of leaves that almost make the road indistinguishable as they swirl about road, sidewalk and driveways with the wind. First, Megan and Bruce get dropped off. Then, it’s Sheila. And finally I’m driving home alone. Still the oldest but now also able to call myself the youngest in the car. And it’s soon to bed with images of peeing gorillas dancing in my head.