Busy week and a busy weekend to go with it. Lots going on at work and visitors for a few days… so the story will come Wednesday night. Only the weekly portion of things is here.
MONDAY…
--- Busy day… lots of work stuff and then a presentation to go to… and I have to get the car to the garage before that… and get back there after it (all thanks to Melissa)… and groceries… and squash. Bah, tiring day.
TUESDAY…
--- Fine enough day at the office with a rare lunch with Kiyomi. Take it easy in the evening.
WEDNESDAY…
--- Busy day at work with a bit of the old days coming back to CNI… Karen and Laura work with us for the day. That’s kind of fun.
--- Well it looks like Quebec will be a nation within Canada no matter what. I am really disgusted by the panhandling our politicians do to one province. Spending so much time seeing to Quebec’s needs while lumping the rest of the country into some non-Quebec group is a slap in the face to the individuality of all other parts of the country. But it’s all about votes for the politicians.
THURSDAY…
--- Busy day of work and also take some time to look over a few resumes for a few of the temporary employees as they go for permanent jobs in the office.
--- I still am bad at squash… but the new racquet does give promise of a new day… it’s just not today!
FRIDAY…
--- Busy and somewhat annoying day at work.
--- Quiet night with some cleaning around the house and a pretty long nap.
SATURDAY…
--- Work half a day of overtime. Kind of nice being back on the AFIS side of work for a day.
--- Visitors in town, and Melissa come and we have pizza for supper.
--- Off to James Bond in the night. Solid movie. Daniel Craig is a very good Bond… he really does have a chance to be the best of the bunch.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Making It Up As I Go Along #245
MONDAY…
--- Day off work and I have lunch with Christina (friend from home) before taking her to the airport. Other than that, a few groceries and some relaxing.
TUESDAY…
--- Sick day. Feeling run down and my throat and sinuses are not too happy today… so I stay home and rest.
WEDNESDAY…
--- Work is pretty normal. I split a pizza with Megan for supper and watch a show about global warming and the quacks hired by big business to pretend to be scientists who believe people have no influence over the climate.
THURSDAY…
--- In early for some supervisor type stuff… to go with lunch. Work is alright, pretty busy but alright.
FRIDAY…
--- Quiet morning… work is fine, keep pretty busy but not run silly. It’s a reduced Friday staff too so that makes it easier to work in peace.
SATURDAY…
--- Laziness for a while and then off to Shannon’s with pizza in tow and a night of The Life of Brian. Possibly the funniest movie ever made.
The Greyness of Home
One’s environment can make all the difference in life. I come from a grey place. Newfoundland has spectacular views and a wildness to it unlike most of North America. But one thing it can not boast is an abundance of sunshine. Fog, drizzle, cloud, snow… through the year you can literally go weeks without seeing your shadow.
When I moved to Ottawa, I came to a place that is much warmer in the summer, much colder in the winter, and there is actually a season called Spring. And one other thing that actually took getting used to for me in Ottawa… the sun. Summer is a sunny time and, despite the cold, winter days are often cloudless. Sunglasses are a must in Ottawa.
However, the last month has been a time of familiarity for me. When friends and co-workers walk around mumbling about the drizzle and cloud, I’ve actually picked up a bounce in my step. For this fall has been like home.
It makes me realize how messed up Newfoundland can make a person. Or, if messed up is too harsh a characterization, unique can surely be used. You see, growing up in a land of grey has rubbed off on me.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a sunny day. I’d take sun over cloud most any day. But it wasn’t until this extended period of cloud cover that I realized an astounding fact. For me, grey is home.
I have never felt more at home within the city of Ottawa as I have over the last month. Drizzle moistens the face. Pavement is in a constant state of dampness. And that familiar cloud pattern I grew up with hangs over the city. Shades of grey… some near white and others more dirty, as a reflection of roadside snow that has been painted by the exhaust of cars. The shades of grey give the sky depth… it feels almost like a great wool sweater pulled over the city.
A fleece and my hiking rain shell are all I need. A ball cap keeps the wet away from my glasses and I comfortably stride through the city feeling solid with the damp air around me.
Others are annoyed. They’re used to sun and ready for the cold that overtakes the city around this time of year. I’ve never gotten used to that coldness though. It rips the breath from my lungs and leaves me huddling for salvation.
Yet this month, where temperatures have stayed above normal, it is the locals huddling. I had huddled against cold… they huddle against the wet. But I embrace the wetness and am thankful for the mild temperatures.
One day this week, I walk to the office with Laura. Gusts of wind spit the drizzle at us and she almost jumps with fright at each gust. Being a friend, she offers her umbrella to me… trying to hold it between us… to shelter us from the weather.
But the gusts try to turn the umbrella into a kite. Laura struggles to control it and I back away and tell her to keep it for herself.
I’ve never been used to umbrellas. I own one but it hasn’t moved from its perch in over a year. In Newfoundland, the wind is too strong to make an umbrella practical. A rain coat and good cap beat an umbrella every time.
So on a day like mine with Laura, I prefer the damp cheeks and walk with hands in pockets. I feel free this way. I’m comfortable… at home.
And next to me, Laura yelps and curses as the wind wrenches the umbrella within her grip. For her the walk can’t end soon enough… yet for me, it’s nice and memorable as a stroll with a friend just before work.
--- Day off work and I have lunch with Christina (friend from home) before taking her to the airport. Other than that, a few groceries and some relaxing.
TUESDAY…
--- Sick day. Feeling run down and my throat and sinuses are not too happy today… so I stay home and rest.
WEDNESDAY…
--- Work is pretty normal. I split a pizza with Megan for supper and watch a show about global warming and the quacks hired by big business to pretend to be scientists who believe people have no influence over the climate.
THURSDAY…
--- In early for some supervisor type stuff… to go with lunch. Work is alright, pretty busy but alright.
FRIDAY…
--- Quiet morning… work is fine, keep pretty busy but not run silly. It’s a reduced Friday staff too so that makes it easier to work in peace.
SATURDAY…
--- Laziness for a while and then off to Shannon’s with pizza in tow and a night of The Life of Brian. Possibly the funniest movie ever made.
The Greyness of Home
One’s environment can make all the difference in life. I come from a grey place. Newfoundland has spectacular views and a wildness to it unlike most of North America. But one thing it can not boast is an abundance of sunshine. Fog, drizzle, cloud, snow… through the year you can literally go weeks without seeing your shadow.
When I moved to Ottawa, I came to a place that is much warmer in the summer, much colder in the winter, and there is actually a season called Spring. And one other thing that actually took getting used to for me in Ottawa… the sun. Summer is a sunny time and, despite the cold, winter days are often cloudless. Sunglasses are a must in Ottawa.
However, the last month has been a time of familiarity for me. When friends and co-workers walk around mumbling about the drizzle and cloud, I’ve actually picked up a bounce in my step. For this fall has been like home.
It makes me realize how messed up Newfoundland can make a person. Or, if messed up is too harsh a characterization, unique can surely be used. You see, growing up in a land of grey has rubbed off on me.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a sunny day. I’d take sun over cloud most any day. But it wasn’t until this extended period of cloud cover that I realized an astounding fact. For me, grey is home.
I have never felt more at home within the city of Ottawa as I have over the last month. Drizzle moistens the face. Pavement is in a constant state of dampness. And that familiar cloud pattern I grew up with hangs over the city. Shades of grey… some near white and others more dirty, as a reflection of roadside snow that has been painted by the exhaust of cars. The shades of grey give the sky depth… it feels almost like a great wool sweater pulled over the city.
A fleece and my hiking rain shell are all I need. A ball cap keeps the wet away from my glasses and I comfortably stride through the city feeling solid with the damp air around me.
Others are annoyed. They’re used to sun and ready for the cold that overtakes the city around this time of year. I’ve never gotten used to that coldness though. It rips the breath from my lungs and leaves me huddling for salvation.
Yet this month, where temperatures have stayed above normal, it is the locals huddling. I had huddled against cold… they huddle against the wet. But I embrace the wetness and am thankful for the mild temperatures.
One day this week, I walk to the office with Laura. Gusts of wind spit the drizzle at us and she almost jumps with fright at each gust. Being a friend, she offers her umbrella to me… trying to hold it between us… to shelter us from the weather.
But the gusts try to turn the umbrella into a kite. Laura struggles to control it and I back away and tell her to keep it for herself.
I’ve never been used to umbrellas. I own one but it hasn’t moved from its perch in over a year. In Newfoundland, the wind is too strong to make an umbrella practical. A rain coat and good cap beat an umbrella every time.
So on a day like mine with Laura, I prefer the damp cheeks and walk with hands in pockets. I feel free this way. I’m comfortable… at home.
And next to me, Laura yelps and curses as the wind wrenches the umbrella within her grip. For her the walk can’t end soon enough… yet for me, it’s nice and memorable as a stroll with a friend just before work.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Making It Up As I Go Along #244
MONDAY…
--- Not a bad day… meeting in the afternoon breaks it up.
--- Squash is alright. I win more than lose but it’s all against the one person… so I’m not the worst player out there anyway!
TUESDAY…
--- Busy busy day. And by 2:30 I’m dead tired. So it’s snoozing for much of the evening between 6 and 8.
WEDNESDAY…
--- Not a bad day at work and Grace O’Malley’s (a pub) for a drink and supper with some co-workers.
--- I don’t sleep well again… going to bed around ten to eleven Wednesday night but not getting to sleep much before one.
THURSDAY…
--- Run down with lack of sleep and maybe fighting a cold (hard to tell when you aren’t sleeping). Work half day and take in a presentation for the other half of the day.
--- Skip squash tonight, no energy for it.
FRIDAY…
--- Work is madness today. I’m run everywhere for much of the day. A big crowd at lunch doesn’t really take away from the madness either.
--- To Grace O’Malley’s again after work for a bite and a few drinks. It’s alright.
SATURDAY…
--- Quiet day around the house while the rain pours down. Louis, Casey, Nick and some of Nick’s friends come over for the hockey game tonight. A fine night of foolishness.
--- I may still be catching a cold… a possibility that displeases me.
Curse of Dayshift
A sleepless week is a tough thing to endure. It seems like such an easy thing to do. I mean to fall asleep should be as simple as deciding not to do anything. Turn off the lights, lie down and just allow yourself to get bored.
But the mind works in peculiar ways and sometimes it seems like it’d be easier to fly to the moon than have a good night’s sleep.
This week has been a tough one sleep wise. Each night I’d go to bed tired, ready to drift off within moments of my head hitting the pillow. Yet, for some reason the sleep wouldn’t come.
Tossing and turning, looking for the position that will whisk you away to dreamland, all that comes is frustration with each glance at the clock and, with it, the realization that morning will come with aches, a foggy head, and a general feeling of malaise.
One afternoon, I force myself not to nap in the hope that sheer exhaustion will grant me a peaceful night’s sleep. And the other afternoons have me succumb to fatigue for anywhere between twenty minutes and two hours of restless sleep. It’s the type of sleep where you can hear other things going on around you. You can hear the TV or the e-mail notification. You can hear neighbours coming home from their day of work. But you hear it from a semi-dream state where rest doesn’t really come. You awake groggy.
At 8:30, the thought of bed is appealing. But what good would going be? I’d wake up at 2:30 or 3:00 and be more messed up than I am currently.
So I push to 10:30 and venture off to bed hoping this will be the night I dream peacefully and awake refreshed.
And each night, 10:30 turns to 11:00 and 11:30 soon follows. On the worst such night, 12:40 is seen before any real sleep comes and I mull over the idea of taking the next day off from work.
By midweek, the lack of rest brings other unwanted issues. I feel like I’m fighting a cold. A tired immune system is just not a good immune system I guess.
It’s one of those colds where you generally feel okay through the day. Maybe it’s the aches of sickness or maybe just those that come with being too tired. But then at night, when the head hits the pillow, the nose rebels.
And when you want to be at your most comfortable and peaceful, my nose clogs and begins to leak… all at the same time.
So on two occasions this week, when sleep finally came, it was with a tissue clasped between sleeping fingers.
Yet hope is about to dawn. For here is a long weekend followed by evening shift. And evening shift at work has always suited my sleeping patterns better. Going to bed when the feeling comes upon me rather than when the clock says I better… and awaking when the level of rest has reached maximum rather than when a CD of music jerks me into consciousness.
Of course, thanks to cloggy the hose nose, Friday and Saturday night both only brought minimal rest. I just feel like I need one night… one good night that will bring back the strength to ditch the germs in my head and get me back on track.
Maybe that night will be tonight… hopefully tonight… it better be tonight.
--- Not a bad day… meeting in the afternoon breaks it up.
--- Squash is alright. I win more than lose but it’s all against the one person… so I’m not the worst player out there anyway!
TUESDAY…
--- Busy busy day. And by 2:30 I’m dead tired. So it’s snoozing for much of the evening between 6 and 8.
WEDNESDAY…
--- Not a bad day at work and Grace O’Malley’s (a pub) for a drink and supper with some co-workers.
--- I don’t sleep well again… going to bed around ten to eleven Wednesday night but not getting to sleep much before one.
THURSDAY…
--- Run down with lack of sleep and maybe fighting a cold (hard to tell when you aren’t sleeping). Work half day and take in a presentation for the other half of the day.
--- Skip squash tonight, no energy for it.
FRIDAY…
--- Work is madness today. I’m run everywhere for much of the day. A big crowd at lunch doesn’t really take away from the madness either.
--- To Grace O’Malley’s again after work for a bite and a few drinks. It’s alright.
SATURDAY…
--- Quiet day around the house while the rain pours down. Louis, Casey, Nick and some of Nick’s friends come over for the hockey game tonight. A fine night of foolishness.
--- I may still be catching a cold… a possibility that displeases me.
Curse of Dayshift
A sleepless week is a tough thing to endure. It seems like such an easy thing to do. I mean to fall asleep should be as simple as deciding not to do anything. Turn off the lights, lie down and just allow yourself to get bored.
But the mind works in peculiar ways and sometimes it seems like it’d be easier to fly to the moon than have a good night’s sleep.
This week has been a tough one sleep wise. Each night I’d go to bed tired, ready to drift off within moments of my head hitting the pillow. Yet, for some reason the sleep wouldn’t come.
Tossing and turning, looking for the position that will whisk you away to dreamland, all that comes is frustration with each glance at the clock and, with it, the realization that morning will come with aches, a foggy head, and a general feeling of malaise.
One afternoon, I force myself not to nap in the hope that sheer exhaustion will grant me a peaceful night’s sleep. And the other afternoons have me succumb to fatigue for anywhere between twenty minutes and two hours of restless sleep. It’s the type of sleep where you can hear other things going on around you. You can hear the TV or the e-mail notification. You can hear neighbours coming home from their day of work. But you hear it from a semi-dream state where rest doesn’t really come. You awake groggy.
At 8:30, the thought of bed is appealing. But what good would going be? I’d wake up at 2:30 or 3:00 and be more messed up than I am currently.
So I push to 10:30 and venture off to bed hoping this will be the night I dream peacefully and awake refreshed.
And each night, 10:30 turns to 11:00 and 11:30 soon follows. On the worst such night, 12:40 is seen before any real sleep comes and I mull over the idea of taking the next day off from work.
By midweek, the lack of rest brings other unwanted issues. I feel like I’m fighting a cold. A tired immune system is just not a good immune system I guess.
It’s one of those colds where you generally feel okay through the day. Maybe it’s the aches of sickness or maybe just those that come with being too tired. But then at night, when the head hits the pillow, the nose rebels.
And when you want to be at your most comfortable and peaceful, my nose clogs and begins to leak… all at the same time.
So on two occasions this week, when sleep finally came, it was with a tissue clasped between sleeping fingers.
Yet hope is about to dawn. For here is a long weekend followed by evening shift. And evening shift at work has always suited my sleeping patterns better. Going to bed when the feeling comes upon me rather than when the clock says I better… and awaking when the level of rest has reached maximum rather than when a CD of music jerks me into consciousness.
Of course, thanks to cloggy the hose nose, Friday and Saturday night both only brought minimal rest. I just feel like I need one night… one good night that will bring back the strength to ditch the germs in my head and get me back on track.
Maybe that night will be tonight… hopefully tonight… it better be tonight.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Making It Up As I Go Along #243
A hazy lighthouse courtesy, if I remember correctly, of Sam Dhargalkar. It seems to be a fitting image for today's story...
MONDAY…
--- Not a bad evening of work. Start the day alright too as I meet up with Melissa and we grab lunch and go for a walk over in Gatineau.
--- An hour long walk around my neighbourhood after work is good too.
TUESDAY…
--- Go to work a touch early to stop at the mall for the new Jeff Tweedy DVD. Good music needs to be bought!
--- Work is fine… kind of busy with electronics but you do what you must.
--- Nick and Mike pop over to my place after work for a few drinks and some talking. Not a bad time.
WEDNESDAY…
--- Tweedy (Lead singer of Wilco) on DVD in the morning. Work is normal in the evening. A movie when I get home… Saw II is pretty creepy.
THURSDAY…
--- Work is fine. Full area with four AFIS people joining CNI to pump out the work. So, in a weird twist, I’m Melissa’s supervisor for a day.
FRIDAY…
--- Hectic like day and I’m in a fog for most of it. Sleep in until 10:00… Have to be at the restaurant for the CNI luncheon at 11:30… work for two hours in QC next to Kiyomi (CNI work but no room to do it there so I take it to QC)… that’s nice for a change. Evening shift is with a minimal team and I’m there until 8:00. Not the most productive day really.
SATURDAY…
--- After a day of lazing… it’s an evening of mingling. First it’s Linda Jackson’s for a little party celebrating her degree. Melissa picks me up and we meet Isabelle while there… fun time.
--- After that it’s to Melissa’s hanging out with Melissa’s friend, Anne-Marie.
--- From there the three of us go to a house party downtown… meet up with Brenda (from work) and meet several interesting people as well.
--- A $50 cab ride home ends the night at around 2:15 in the morning… wouldn’t want to shell that out for a cab every day but once a year or so is fine and dandy for an interesting night.
A late night last night followed by a really interesting round of shark shows on the Discovery Network… and with me having a rather tired and foggy type of week this week, this seems fitting…
Living in a Fog
One of the things I miss about home, now that I’m living in Ottawa, is fog. Sure, Ottawa gets fog from time to time… but it’s almost always a morning event that burns off as the temperatures rise. If you aren’t up before 8:00 AM, you’d likely never see it. Other than that, I think there was one day, in the three plus years I’ve been here, that fog lasted all day long.
In Newfoundland, Spring time will bring weeks of fog with only occasional glimpses of the sun. For a portion of my life, I hated this. It felt claustrophobic and left people with headaches. But after a while, I started appreciating the feel of it. The mystery… and how it obscures the world around us. And now that I’m away, I miss it.
Fog can give serious topics added weight. In the Robert McNamara film “The Fog of War”, McNamara explains the term “fog of war” by saying “war is so complex it's beyond the ability of the human mind to comprehend all the variables. Our judgment, our understanding, are not adequate. And we kill people unnecessarily.” With that in mind, it makes one stop and ponder many of the events in the world today. If more people saw war like this, the world would likely be a safer place today.
And there are still more types of fog to consider. The fog of the mind that makes ordinary tasks as complex as nuclear science.
Whether it’s a lack of good sleep… hectic times around me… my mind drifting on to other things… or simply not eating enough vegetables… On Friday I had one of those foggy days that come about once every couple of months. It’s a day where the IQ drops to Forrest Gump levels and the simplest of tasks becomes a chore.
And I knew it was coming. I woke up late and was tempted to even call in and say I won’t be at the staff luncheon. Waiting until 3:00 and having a reduced number of workers felt more appealing than going in for 11:30, eating Chinese buffet and then working for several hours with a large crew.
But I went in anyway and plodded through the day. On days like these, my answer to many work questions goes as follows… “What does your manual say?”
Sure it gets me out of the jam of trying to answer a question… but it’s also good for the worker to find the answer for themselves. So it’s a win win situation. I don’t look stupid and they get smarter. Now that’s management!
After a while, a question is bound to come that the manual doesn’t cover. With that, I have to show my cards and just be honest… “My brain isn’t working today” is a common explanation. And, when these situations occur, I at least don’t try to make something up. Searching out the answer may be a pain but it avoids trouble.
And with those last words, a fog once again envelops my mind. Clear thoughts are nowhere to be found. I have to wander about, searching my brain, knowing that if I stumble close enough, like in real life, the haze dissipates and the thought sits there clearly for me to examine and discuss. But right now, it’s way off on the horizon with little more than a silhouette dimly visible.
Yes, there can be much frustration, but at the same time, intrigue when one is wandering through the fog.
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