Making It Up As I Go Along #614

Inner Ringing

The inner ringing.

Always there

An electrical hum

In whispered tone

Background noise

Through inner thoughts

And the outside clatter

Unnoticed soundtrack 

Of my life

Intensified with exhaustion

Dream caused wake

Brings out the ring

To the forefront 

3:00 AM darkness

Conjured more disturbing

As the ringing drifts

Enveloping darkest corners

Of an already dark night

Until morning wake comes

Returning the ominous

To whispered background

Once more unnoticed

As I stretch away the night

And yawn in a new day 

The familiar soundtrack

The hum of my silence

Far from late night fears 

MONDAY…

--- Ball is rained out tonight.  I’m alright with that.  I’ve reached a point in my softball days where if it isn’t nice and warm outside, I’d rather not play.  Gone are the days of fastpitch finals occurring in October back home… and playing on fields that frosted over as the innings went.

TUESDAY…

--- Was going to go to the Mad Max movie after work… but postponed for a week.  So I do a good walk after I get home.  A nice part of working the eight hour days instead of the twelves.  Time to do other stuff after I get home.

WEDNESDAY…

--- Ball is a go this evening.  Meet Christine for wings prior to the action.  Ate too much for the amount of running around I did.  Hit lead off and scored the first four times I got up… so lots of running left wings feeling cranky in my belly.

THURSDAY…

--- Pretty quiet after work.  Tired and not feeling too energetic.  

FRIDAY…

--- After doing the morning testing at work, I take the afternoon off sick.  Headache and a bit of a lead feeling stomach made rest at home sound better than concentrating on messy fingerprints at work.  By supper time I starting to feel more myself.

SATURDAY…

--- Close to an hour walk in the late morning.  Lots of rain keeps me in the house for the afternoon.  Laundry and TV make up the bulk of the afternoon.  Falling asleep on the sofa in the early evening.  One thing about the no shift, my night owl times are taking a hit.  Most nights I want to go to bed before midnight.  And I haven’t slept past 8:00 since coming off the CPSIC shift.  

--- I did wake up just before 3:00 AM Sunday morning and felt unsettled.  Kind of disturbing dreams blend into foggy reality.  I force myself into a better reality by turning on the light and checking out things on my iPad.  

Making It Up As I Go Along #613

Haven’t posted in a few weeks.  Lots been going on over that time frame.  The parents came for a visit.  Life was less than normal for a few days with a medical procedure.  Left CPSIC at work.  Been training for the Latent Fingerprint department.  Playing ball again.  Walks. Groceries.  Fossil hunts.  All sorts of things.

I couldn’t take time off with mom and dad when they visited.  Going to Latent training made that an impossibility.  I was off for about half of their trip but the majority of that time off had me preparing for, going through, and recovering from a fairly routine medical procedure.  It was great having mom and dad around for that.  To have them available to help out getting me food and drink… and to have dad driving while I was still a bit loopy on meds.  

It was also good having them around when I’d get home from work.  They cleaned the house from top to bottom.  I’d have been happier hearing them say they took a bus downtown to explore or shop.  But I appreciate the work they did do.  Home made meals also were a nice treat.  I rarely cook a regular meal.  Food preparation for one often just doesn’t seem worth it to me.  So to come home with a meal in the works for three of us was a nice thing.  And the frozen meals left behind from their visit come as a reminder of family by way of supper.

When mom and dad are here and I’m not taking time off work, it makes the visit feel more part of my routine.  So dropping them at the airport and returning to an empty house felt weird and a bit lonely.  

With that, there is no weekly portion to this one.  Just too much stuff over too long a period of time.  

Journeys

They came to be millions of years ago

At the bottom of an extinct sea

Some miles from here

Filtering extinct waters for extinct meals

Others sat anchored to rock

Swaying leafy branches

In long ago currents

Part of a long forgotten environment

And another fluttering through the ancient kelps

Searching out food

Hiding from predators

Trying to attract mates

A deposit of silt buried them all

Poured off continents of ice

Settling down into the deep

Like a gently falling snow

Millennia of silt past

Ice retreated

Seas drained

And sea floors become land

And in layers of sedimentary rock

They remain hidden

Ancient clams, plants and trilobites

Turned to stone within a grave a stone

I came to be decades ago

Thousands of miles away

Atop a rocky land

Sea winds whipping my blonde locks haphazardly about.

Growing up brought me here

Miles from this place

Working and living 

Unaware of their existence

Machines unearthed their graves

Broke up their rocky resting places

Transported them here

And dumped them as haphazardly as the wind with my hair.

And here they sit

Exposed for the first time to air

Thousands of miles from any sea

So long encased in rock that it is what they’ve become

And at this time I moved here

Blonde locks long gone

For several years walking over them

Unaware of their presence.

Until one day I photographed a bug

Had it landed on a different stone I’d have missed them

Without a zoom lens I’d never have tried the shot

Once downloaded to my computer it all changes

I return to the place with new eyes

Bend low to search them out

Recognizing muddy ripples in rock

Deposited by long ago currents

On long ago sands

And carefully I pick some out

Gently carry them home

Afraid my ten minute walk will destroy

What millions of years of geology created.

Making It Up As I Go Along #612

The Filling

I see it enter

Lowering into my pried jaws

Little more in girth than a sewing needle

My heart quickens in terror

By command of a masked man

It whirs into action

Suddenly needle feels as tunnel bore

My tooth sure to explode under the pressure

“Open wider”

Commanded as assistant inserts vacuum

Spit flooding the back of throat

I’m likely to drown if the drill doesn’t get me first

My tongue pleads “no more”

Mindlessly drifting towards the attack

Masked man pushes it away

With a great iron stick

With each squeal of the drilling device

Pain is expected

The freezing untrusted

To give out at the worst possible moment

With the drill removed a breath

I swallow quickly

It’s as a submerged drowner

Breaking the surface with gasps moments before exploding lungs

And then the metal hook

A pick inserted into the great cavern

I know the nerves live there

I expect a piercing and yanking of a skewered pulpy mass

The pain never comes

The freeze has worked… this time

I’ve survived the attack

And curse every piece of food and drink that brought me to this masked man’s chair

SATURDAY/SUNDAY…

--- Working alone this block.  Alone in CPSIC on a weekend isn’t a bad thing.  Not overly busy.  Quiet office.

MONDAY…

--- Pizza picked up on the way to work.  There’s enough to do but not so much that I’m overrun tonight.  Get the majority of the main stuff clued up by 1:00 AM or so. 

TUESDAY…

--- Not far off last night work wise.  Close to the same.  So overall a decent block alone.

WEDNESDAY…

--- Up too early.  Only about four hours sleep.  To the dentist for some work on a filing.  The dentist has actually become my biggest fear over the last few years.  My teeth don’t freeze well.  Last time I had fillings they had to freeze me three or four times during the procedure.  This time, they used the freezing agent normally set aside for root canals.  And the majority of the time my heart was beating pretty hard as I constantly expected the next second of drilling would cause excruciating pain.  Plus I’m constantly wanting to swallow while they work.  And I fear I’ll give in to the urge and do it just at a vital second… causing the drill to carve a hole in my tongue.

--- After the horrors of dentistry, I’m off to Mazda.  The old lease is up and good ol’ silver Mazda 3 is getting turned in… for brand new red Mazda 3.  It’s the first time I have some sadness switching cars.  To see the silver one left in the lot, no longer there to take me around… gave me pause.  But the new one is nice.  More perks than the old and a lower lease payment per month to boot.

THURSDAY…

--- Do a walk and some yard work.  Fairly quiet day.

FRIDAY…

--- A long walk today.  Out for about an hour and a half.  Also run to the bank and drug store, little trip to the liquor store.  And I slept well last night.  First eight hour night in a long time.

--- The robins appear to have nested next door this year.  I think they’ve taken over a cedar bush in Harley’s backyard.  Nice to see the pair around (not that it’s the same pair as last year but very similar actions).  But I feel a little left out.  Was sort of hoping for another BBQ invasion.

--- Supper out with Jennifer.  I think it’s the first time I’ve gotten together with her that Karl hasn’t come up in conversation.   Not that he was far from mind.  Fish tacos are a tasty meal I haven’t had in several years.

--- Montreal vs. Tampa hockey round out the night.  Goes to double overtime and is a pretty good game.  But the wrong team wins.  Not sure if Montreal will be able to put together enough offence against this team.