MONDAY...
— Fine day. Quite morning around the house. Work in CNI doing some stuff for them until supper. Then to AFIS. I actually break in the middle of shift in order to watch the hockey game in the controller’s room with Scott. It means I stay until 1:00 AM to work the difference... but it’s good as Montreal wins 5-0 to move on to the next round of the playoffs.
TUESDAY...
— Was going to do a walk after work tonight... but was too tired so I decide a relatively early night to bed is best (early meaning 1:30 AM)... bless evening shift.
— Work itself is alright. Nothing too out of the ordinary. Do a walk at break with Amy and Stephanie. And I have my first go of the Chip Wagon this year. A fine supper on a summery night.
WEDNESDAY...
— Supper with Nicole and Shannon... we order Chinese. It’s a fine little time. Work is pretty quiet with just Nicole and me.
— Do an hour walk tonight. That goes pretty well.
THURSDAY...
— Lunch with Sheila, Nicole and Genevieve (Sheila’s friends). It’s not a bad start to the work day.
— Off to work from there. It goes okay. Lots of different tasks to do so it’s kept fairly interesting.
— Tape the hockey game but I know what happens before getting home. I over hear some talk of the score... and then one of the guys comes out and flat out says 3-2. So I give up and ask for who. From that point, I check in on things and see Montreal making the comeback to win in overtime. Good stuff.
FRIDAY...
— Work is okay. Busy early on with three people working overtime and Nicole there. I’m alone for the last couple of hours, as they were all in earlier. Come home to watch some hockey on TV and check around on the computer a bit.
— I’d like to propose a law against mail. That is... if the piece of mail doesn’t have a real name and an address written on it... don’t deliver it! I hate how the mailman, who used to deliver the mail no matter rain, sleet or snow, has become nothing more than a well paid pizza menu delivery guy. Every day I get junk mail... coupon books... free samples... advertising papers. If I added nothing to it, my paper recycling box would be almost full every two weeks just on the garbage the mailman and little kids with wagons bring to my door and super box. I’m bombarded with advertising. TV commercials (I think the channels have agreed to all go to ads at the same time too, so there’s no sense in switching)... junk mail... spam e-mail... telephone automated messages (where you’re phoned by a machine)... and internet pop-ups. Soon there’ll be advertising on the pages of books... then the only way to get away from it all is to simply lay in bed quietly.
SATURDAY...
— Two hockey games today and it goes as bad as it could for me. Colorado and Montreal both lose.
— Supper downtown with cousin Paula and her husband, Eddie. It’s a good time catching up and talking Ottawa with the newcomers.
A Sunday In Spring
I have a friend who got married.
I didn’t know it had happened.
I saw his profile picture on the internet,
Standing next to a bride in white.
Last time he was married, I was there as a best man.
This time I learn about it in the same manner as learning about online poker,
And t-shirts with funny sayings.
Not that it upset me.
Being left out from a friends big day.
Second marriages are often smaller than the first.
But with increased technology and abilities to be close to those so far,
It’s easy to see us slip between the cracks, and life happens while we’re unaware.
I saw a shirtless man today.
I didn’t enjoy the sight.
Sitting in the living room, I glance out to see him across the street.
Why is it more acceptable to see a half naked man?
No good comes of it.
Either he’s cut with muscles and appearing pretentious,
Ready to do an exercise ad on TV.
Or he’s not in shape and leaving me with more imagery than I’d like.
Living in a bubble is a fine thing where you only deal with the things that matter.
But your bubble can infringe on mine, and not seeing a hairy man jiggle matters to me.
Smiling means so much.
It can be good or even bad.
A friend’s smile can better the day,
A politician’s smile can breed anger.
I have several friends who smile completely.
Mouth drawn happy, eyes sparkling with energy,
Even a crinkling nose can tell so much.
I’ve seen many politicians who smile falsely.
They smile because their aid tells them they must.
A stamped mouth atop a false face.
Some smiles I love and trust, they bring warmth and calm to me.
Others are trying to scam me. Calling these politicians honourable seems so wrong.
The birds are chirping in tones much like smiling friends.
And since it’s not 4:00 AM, life is pretty good.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Making It Up As I Go Along #316
MONDAY...
— Work alone for a while but Stephanie also comes for some overtime. It’s okay at the office. I even do a walk at one of the breaks.
— Colorado is killing me in the hockey pool. I’m ready to kick the TV while watching them play the late game... they lose to Minnesota in overtime and are now down in the series... JERKS.
— I’ve changed my home e-mail to only check for new messages every 20 minutes rather than every 5 minutes. Just too few real e-mails and too much spam. I’ve been ignoring the notification most of the time anyway, just assuming it’s a message telling me how to grow certain body parts bigger... or how to get a good Rolex watch.
TUESDAY...
— Not alone at all tonight at work. Read and Dan work OT in the early part and Keith is there for the later part. It’s fine.
— Home to see the Montreal game on tape. A good one too. 1-0 Habs.
WEDNESDAY...
— I missed the clip until today, thanks to youtube, but wow are the Ottawa Senator brain trust a bunch of moronic geeks! That pre-game Spartan, gladiator speech thing was laughable. Proof why if you’d ever characterize a hockey team as a nerdy geek, Ottawa is your team. What I can’t believe is that before a do-or-die hockey game, they got the players to line up in a hallway and stand there with straight faces watching this half naked clown march out past them.
— And it’s the end of the Sens. They lose tonight to get swept out of the playoffs. I can’t say I’m broken hearted but I’m friends with enough Sen fans now that I can’t take joy in it either.
— Did a walk after work today. About an hour out there... first time since November I think. It’s good.
THURSDAY...
— Work alone tonight. It goes okay. Melissa and I do supper outside. It’s sunny and 23. Nice to have Spring here at last.
— Montreal gets kicked and I watch it on tape after work. Not pleasing.
— And it appears that I’ve chipped a tooth by taking a bite of a fig bar. Don’t ask me how that happens but biting a pit seems to have taken a little bit of tooth. Pain free but still a pain. I guess the dentist will soon get a call.
FRIDAY...
— In early for a staff luncheon. I sit with Kiyomi and Martin on either side of me. It’s good.
— Work is alright. I’m bouncing around doing lots of different things through the day... and it’s a shorter day thanks to that luncheon.
— After work it’s straight to Karl’s art gallery showing with Melissa. I meet Karl’s family and check out his art in a real gallery.
SATURDAY...
— House day. Watch Spider-Man 3 on DVD... it’s not horrible but not a classic either. Hockey after that. Washington vs. Philly is okay... Montreal vs. Boston is annoying. And by the time Colorado vs. Minnesota comes on, I’m too annoyed to enjoy it. Do I go to work on Monday with Montreal going to game 7? Work half a day and get home in time for the game? Who knows.
We Are Our Babies
When we become our babies.
I speak of those icons that represent us on the computers. The two most notable situations I see this in are on MSN messenger and on facebook.
A picture set up to show you... and many show their two year old child instead. I see that a 35 year old I went to school with is online and I see a picture of a baby who’s so young, the child needs to be propped up by hands in order to pose for the picture.
Thousands of infants across the world are plastered on facebook. They represent their mother, and sometimes but not as often, their father... and they’re oblivious to it all.
Think of the future embarrassments. Those baby pictures we all hate when we get old enough to pay attention. Those shots of us laying in the bubble bath with only our head and butt poking out of the suds. Shots of us staggering on skates with ankles nearly touching the ice. Pictures of spaghetti sauce drenched faces. All of these pictures were held in albums and away from the public viewing in the 70s and 80s. Today, those pictures make it to the internet.
We’re left with no say. Our parents, who have virtually no hint of common sense when it comes to us in infant state, are deciding our fate for us. And that bathtub shot which, in the old days, was viewed by a dozen family members on Christmas or summer visits... today is seen by thousands whenever your mom or dad go online to play scrabble.
And when it comes to babies, we really are an insane race. I’ve seen pictures of worn out looking mothers taken a few minutes after the most traumatic event in their life. A purple head of a child poking out through a blanket on top of her belly... and people leave internet comments on this web based pictures talking about how precious it is... or how cute... or adorable. Bah... it’s a purple infant who’s too tired to pose and a haggard woman who needs her rest.
I know a couple of people who have their own baby pictures representing themselves on facebook. People in their 30s showing pictures from their diaper days. Give it up fools... you’re not tricking anyone!
Some put their pets up there. I may very well have a relative or two who, to the untrained eye, could be mistaken as my pet dog rather than say... my sister!
Then there are those who represent themselves online by posting pictures of their spouse. Women with pictures of bearded men. Men with swimsuit shots of their wives. Not that I have an issue with women in swimsuits. But it just seems oddly disturbing to see those pictures of women with attached names as Dave, Mike, or Bill.
But at least these are adults. They can see the pictures for themselves and, if they don’t want it up there, they can put up a fight. And dogs... well it doesn’t take much figuring to know that it’s a dog. And the dog isn’t going to grow up and learn that it’s been exploited.
But babies... I don’t know. Soon I’ll have a facebook friend who’ll decide they want their profile picture to be the actual birth of their newborn. It’ll be nothing but spread legs and the miracle of birth. And that picture will appear anytime Fred is online.
That is the day I leave facebook. So any friend of mine... if you ever see that I’ve disappeared off the internet universe... now you’ll know why.
— Work alone for a while but Stephanie also comes for some overtime. It’s okay at the office. I even do a walk at one of the breaks.
— Colorado is killing me in the hockey pool. I’m ready to kick the TV while watching them play the late game... they lose to Minnesota in overtime and are now down in the series... JERKS.
— I’ve changed my home e-mail to only check for new messages every 20 minutes rather than every 5 minutes. Just too few real e-mails and too much spam. I’ve been ignoring the notification most of the time anyway, just assuming it’s a message telling me how to grow certain body parts bigger... or how to get a good Rolex watch.
TUESDAY...
— Not alone at all tonight at work. Read and Dan work OT in the early part and Keith is there for the later part. It’s fine.
— Home to see the Montreal game on tape. A good one too. 1-0 Habs.
WEDNESDAY...
— I missed the clip until today, thanks to youtube, but wow are the Ottawa Senator brain trust a bunch of moronic geeks! That pre-game Spartan, gladiator speech thing was laughable. Proof why if you’d ever characterize a hockey team as a nerdy geek, Ottawa is your team. What I can’t believe is that before a do-or-die hockey game, they got the players to line up in a hallway and stand there with straight faces watching this half naked clown march out past them.
— And it’s the end of the Sens. They lose tonight to get swept out of the playoffs. I can’t say I’m broken hearted but I’m friends with enough Sen fans now that I can’t take joy in it either.
— Did a walk after work today. About an hour out there... first time since November I think. It’s good.
THURSDAY...
— Work alone tonight. It goes okay. Melissa and I do supper outside. It’s sunny and 23. Nice to have Spring here at last.
— Montreal gets kicked and I watch it on tape after work. Not pleasing.
— And it appears that I’ve chipped a tooth by taking a bite of a fig bar. Don’t ask me how that happens but biting a pit seems to have taken a little bit of tooth. Pain free but still a pain. I guess the dentist will soon get a call.
FRIDAY...
— In early for a staff luncheon. I sit with Kiyomi and Martin on either side of me. It’s good.
— Work is alright. I’m bouncing around doing lots of different things through the day... and it’s a shorter day thanks to that luncheon.
— After work it’s straight to Karl’s art gallery showing with Melissa. I meet Karl’s family and check out his art in a real gallery.
SATURDAY...
— House day. Watch Spider-Man 3 on DVD... it’s not horrible but not a classic either. Hockey after that. Washington vs. Philly is okay... Montreal vs. Boston is annoying. And by the time Colorado vs. Minnesota comes on, I’m too annoyed to enjoy it. Do I go to work on Monday with Montreal going to game 7? Work half a day and get home in time for the game? Who knows.
We Are Our Babies
When we become our babies.
I speak of those icons that represent us on the computers. The two most notable situations I see this in are on MSN messenger and on facebook.
A picture set up to show you... and many show their two year old child instead. I see that a 35 year old I went to school with is online and I see a picture of a baby who’s so young, the child needs to be propped up by hands in order to pose for the picture.
Thousands of infants across the world are plastered on facebook. They represent their mother, and sometimes but not as often, their father... and they’re oblivious to it all.
Think of the future embarrassments. Those baby pictures we all hate when we get old enough to pay attention. Those shots of us laying in the bubble bath with only our head and butt poking out of the suds. Shots of us staggering on skates with ankles nearly touching the ice. Pictures of spaghetti sauce drenched faces. All of these pictures were held in albums and away from the public viewing in the 70s and 80s. Today, those pictures make it to the internet.
We’re left with no say. Our parents, who have virtually no hint of common sense when it comes to us in infant state, are deciding our fate for us. And that bathtub shot which, in the old days, was viewed by a dozen family members on Christmas or summer visits... today is seen by thousands whenever your mom or dad go online to play scrabble.
And when it comes to babies, we really are an insane race. I’ve seen pictures of worn out looking mothers taken a few minutes after the most traumatic event in their life. A purple head of a child poking out through a blanket on top of her belly... and people leave internet comments on this web based pictures talking about how precious it is... or how cute... or adorable. Bah... it’s a purple infant who’s too tired to pose and a haggard woman who needs her rest.
I know a couple of people who have their own baby pictures representing themselves on facebook. People in their 30s showing pictures from their diaper days. Give it up fools... you’re not tricking anyone!
Some put their pets up there. I may very well have a relative or two who, to the untrained eye, could be mistaken as my pet dog rather than say... my sister!
Then there are those who represent themselves online by posting pictures of their spouse. Women with pictures of bearded men. Men with swimsuit shots of their wives. Not that I have an issue with women in swimsuits. But it just seems oddly disturbing to see those pictures of women with attached names as Dave, Mike, or Bill.
But at least these are adults. They can see the pictures for themselves and, if they don’t want it up there, they can put up a fight. And dogs... well it doesn’t take much figuring to know that it’s a dog. And the dog isn’t going to grow up and learn that it’s been exploited.
But babies... I don’t know. Soon I’ll have a facebook friend who’ll decide they want their profile picture to be the actual birth of their newborn. It’ll be nothing but spread legs and the miracle of birth. And that picture will appear anytime Fred is online.
That is the day I leave facebook. So any friend of mine... if you ever see that I’ve disappeared off the internet universe... now you’ll know why.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Making It Up As I Go Along #315
MONDAY...
— A lazy day at home. I take the day off work to do some writing on a self imposed long weekend. Write for a couple of hours... get a shwarma for supper... and watch some hockey playoff preview shows in the evening.
TUESDAY...
— Dayshift. I’m tired as I didn’t sleep great. But it’s a fairly easy going shift all the same. Lunch with Megan and Kiyomi is nice and, at the end of the day, I decide to start my straight evenings tomorrow.
WEDNESDAY...
— Quiet morning at home. Work the evening shift. It’s the start of straight evenings for a while. Doing some team leader tasks... having to deal with some computer system troubles... but making it through okay.
— Supper is Greek food with Melissa. From 7:00 on, I’m by myself in AFIS. It goes okay.
— Some playoff hockey on TV when I get home. Colorado beats Minnesota in overtime... that Joe Sakic... the guy’s alright.
THURSDAY...
— Cindy works overtime tonight... so it’s her and me in AFIS until 9:30. Then me alone. I get Cindy, Larry and Lise to not share the hockey scores with me too... as I’m taping the Montreal game to watch after I get home. It works and Montreal looks good against Boston.
FRIDAY...
— Long day on the office compound. In for 11:30 to have lunch with Kiyomi. Work at 12:00. To the officer’s mess for the hockey pool draft at 3:30. Back to work at 4:45. Supper with Megan... and work until 9:00.
SATURDAY...
— Some movies today. Reign Over Me on the Movie Network is good. And then out with Karl for supper and There Will Be Blood. That’s really good. We run into a raccoon on the bridge walking back to Karl's. An interesting little standoff there.
— Watch the Hab game on tape after I get home.
A Raccoon’s Life
Life along this river is usually pretty good. Lots of little tidbits dropped into the bushes by those passing humans. Little critters for me to hunt down if I want to go that way. A Spring cornucopia of duck eggs. And all the water I’d ever want.
But things have been tough lately. There was so much snow for so very long... and now that the snow has gone, my river paradise has become a raging sea.
The place I’ve called home for these last two years is now some fifteen feet out into the river! I don’t understand how the hill moved out into the water... I guess raccoons just aren’t all that bright.
So now I’m left wandering the shoreline. I’m pushed further up the hill and closer to those humans. They may be good for leaving an easy meal for me, but I don’t trust that crowd and I have no desire to get closer to them. Plus these great big, noisy machines are flying along that hard ground area up there. I had two brothers and a sister get squashed by those things last year. I tell ya, I want nothing to do with trying to cross that hard ground... those machines will make me seagull food in no time!
So I’m left here looking at my river and wanting to get into my little home. But the fish have access to it now and I’m out of luck.
It used to be that I could wander through the still water alongside the shore. You could get little fish there and easily wade over to the bridge foundation that sits in the river. That was always a nice get away from those people.
But the river is moving so fast now. And there’s no still water to wade through, it’s all a swim and with the way the current is, I’d be washed away and drowned before I’d get to the bridge foundation.
So here I am, on this little strip of land between raging waters and monstrous killing machines. Perhaps if I go across the bridge... maybe the other side will offer a better way of life? I’ve seen the people walk across the bridge all the time. They even have a barrier between them and the machines. It looks like it would be safe. I’m going for it.
I’m here... I made it. I thought that as soon as I came up out of the bushes and onto the edge of that hard ground, the speeding machines would see me and come for me as they did my family. But I was able to scurry over to the bridge and I’m just like a person now... I’m walking over the water! It’s so high... and that water looks so big and fast from here... oh I hope I can hurry and get to the other side soon, I don’t like it here at all.
ARGH! What’s that? Shadows coming towards me! It’s... people! Oh my mercy they see me. The people see me! Hey, wait a minute, one of them just called me a cat! And I thought raccoon’s weren’t too bright. Why should I be afraid of such stupid animals as people?
Uh oh.. They’re coming towards me. I’m sorry Great Sky Raccoon... it’s right to be afraid of people... if you get me out of this I’ll never doubt you again! Here they come! Here they come! Oh help me Great Sky Raccoon... HELP ME!
Abort the bridge cross, get back to the bushes... abort... abort! WHAT IS THAT!?!?! That’s the biggest of those speeding machines I’ve ever seen! Only this one isn’t speeding and it’s so noisy! And a big flashing light on top! Sweet Sky Raccoon what have I done to deserve this? Go back! Cross the bridge cross it I say!
Oh yeah, the people. They’re just standing their watching me. They’re plotting my doom... that’s it... plotting how to murder me. Curse those fish that have found a home in my little riverside den!
Maybe if I jump over this machine barrier here... uh... no... speeding machines on the bridge!
I think the slow machine with the noise and spinning light is moving away. Maybe it doesn’t see me? But it’s so big and noisy... I’m crazy to think of getting closer to that thing. Oh but there are the bushes. Maybe I can make my way to them before the machine sees me?
Those people are edging closer... they want to throw me into the slow, noisy machine. I’ve got to go... I’ve got to do it now!
Easy... easy... almost there... almost... there... I MADE IT!
Run run... through the bushes into the dark! Ah, I hate the river like this but at least I feel I have a buffer from the people and machines again now. The other side of the river will never be reached.
I need to find a new home. The fish will not give up what they now have. Well if I can’t get across, I’ll go along the shore. Up the river through the brush. I wonder are those people still watching me? Don’t look... just go... don’t look back!
Keep me safe in my journey Great Sky Raccoon. And please fix the river. I used to like it so much more when it was slow and gentle.
— A lazy day at home. I take the day off work to do some writing on a self imposed long weekend. Write for a couple of hours... get a shwarma for supper... and watch some hockey playoff preview shows in the evening.
TUESDAY...
— Dayshift. I’m tired as I didn’t sleep great. But it’s a fairly easy going shift all the same. Lunch with Megan and Kiyomi is nice and, at the end of the day, I decide to start my straight evenings tomorrow.
WEDNESDAY...
— Quiet morning at home. Work the evening shift. It’s the start of straight evenings for a while. Doing some team leader tasks... having to deal with some computer system troubles... but making it through okay.
— Supper is Greek food with Melissa. From 7:00 on, I’m by myself in AFIS. It goes okay.
— Some playoff hockey on TV when I get home. Colorado beats Minnesota in overtime... that Joe Sakic... the guy’s alright.
THURSDAY...
— Cindy works overtime tonight... so it’s her and me in AFIS until 9:30. Then me alone. I get Cindy, Larry and Lise to not share the hockey scores with me too... as I’m taping the Montreal game to watch after I get home. It works and Montreal looks good against Boston.
FRIDAY...
— Long day on the office compound. In for 11:30 to have lunch with Kiyomi. Work at 12:00. To the officer’s mess for the hockey pool draft at 3:30. Back to work at 4:45. Supper with Megan... and work until 9:00.
SATURDAY...
— Some movies today. Reign Over Me on the Movie Network is good. And then out with Karl for supper and There Will Be Blood. That’s really good. We run into a raccoon on the bridge walking back to Karl's. An interesting little standoff there.
— Watch the Hab game on tape after I get home.
A Raccoon’s Life
Life along this river is usually pretty good. Lots of little tidbits dropped into the bushes by those passing humans. Little critters for me to hunt down if I want to go that way. A Spring cornucopia of duck eggs. And all the water I’d ever want.
But things have been tough lately. There was so much snow for so very long... and now that the snow has gone, my river paradise has become a raging sea.
The place I’ve called home for these last two years is now some fifteen feet out into the river! I don’t understand how the hill moved out into the water... I guess raccoons just aren’t all that bright.
So now I’m left wandering the shoreline. I’m pushed further up the hill and closer to those humans. They may be good for leaving an easy meal for me, but I don’t trust that crowd and I have no desire to get closer to them. Plus these great big, noisy machines are flying along that hard ground area up there. I had two brothers and a sister get squashed by those things last year. I tell ya, I want nothing to do with trying to cross that hard ground... those machines will make me seagull food in no time!
So I’m left here looking at my river and wanting to get into my little home. But the fish have access to it now and I’m out of luck.
It used to be that I could wander through the still water alongside the shore. You could get little fish there and easily wade over to the bridge foundation that sits in the river. That was always a nice get away from those people.
But the river is moving so fast now. And there’s no still water to wade through, it’s all a swim and with the way the current is, I’d be washed away and drowned before I’d get to the bridge foundation.
So here I am, on this little strip of land between raging waters and monstrous killing machines. Perhaps if I go across the bridge... maybe the other side will offer a better way of life? I’ve seen the people walk across the bridge all the time. They even have a barrier between them and the machines. It looks like it would be safe. I’m going for it.
I’m here... I made it. I thought that as soon as I came up out of the bushes and onto the edge of that hard ground, the speeding machines would see me and come for me as they did my family. But I was able to scurry over to the bridge and I’m just like a person now... I’m walking over the water! It’s so high... and that water looks so big and fast from here... oh I hope I can hurry and get to the other side soon, I don’t like it here at all.
ARGH! What’s that? Shadows coming towards me! It’s... people! Oh my mercy they see me. The people see me! Hey, wait a minute, one of them just called me a cat! And I thought raccoon’s weren’t too bright. Why should I be afraid of such stupid animals as people?
Uh oh.. They’re coming towards me. I’m sorry Great Sky Raccoon... it’s right to be afraid of people... if you get me out of this I’ll never doubt you again! Here they come! Here they come! Oh help me Great Sky Raccoon... HELP ME!
Abort the bridge cross, get back to the bushes... abort... abort! WHAT IS THAT!?!?! That’s the biggest of those speeding machines I’ve ever seen! Only this one isn’t speeding and it’s so noisy! And a big flashing light on top! Sweet Sky Raccoon what have I done to deserve this? Go back! Cross the bridge cross it I say!
Oh yeah, the people. They’re just standing their watching me. They’re plotting my doom... that’s it... plotting how to murder me. Curse those fish that have found a home in my little riverside den!
Maybe if I jump over this machine barrier here... uh... no... speeding machines on the bridge!
I think the slow machine with the noise and spinning light is moving away. Maybe it doesn’t see me? But it’s so big and noisy... I’m crazy to think of getting closer to that thing. Oh but there are the bushes. Maybe I can make my way to them before the machine sees me?
Those people are edging closer... they want to throw me into the slow, noisy machine. I’ve got to go... I’ve got to do it now!
Easy... easy... almost there... almost... there... I MADE IT!
Run run... through the bushes into the dark! Ah, I hate the river like this but at least I feel I have a buffer from the people and machines again now. The other side of the river will never be reached.
I need to find a new home. The fish will not give up what they now have. Well if I can’t get across, I’ll go along the shore. Up the river through the brush. I wonder are those people still watching me? Don’t look... just go... don’t look back!
Keep me safe in my journey Great Sky Raccoon. And please fix the river. I used to like it so much more when it was slow and gentle.
Sunday, April 06, 2008
Making It Up As I Go Along #314
MONDAY...
— Stay home today. Haven’t been feeling great since Friday really... and it just kept up into today. By after supper I’m starting to pick up though... so hopefully it’s done.
— Some TV, time on the phone with the folks, and internet break up a nappy day.
TUESDAY...
— Feeling better today and go to work. It goes alright there... Not much out of the ordinary. Although we’re told we’re cutting down to two teams instead of three. We once had six. And there won’t be an evening shift. This is all short term... should change again in July... but I talked with management about maybe going straight evenings as someone there to help get priority stuff through. We’ll see.
— Groceries after work and some e-mails after that.
WEDNESDAY...
— In early for a meeting. After that I work an extra hour to take off at another time... probably Friday.
— It’s official. I won’t be a second in charge on a team but I will do some team leader type duties. I’m going back to straight evenings and I’ll help out with the priority stuff when dayshift is all gone home. I’m looking forward to it. It’ll be pretty quiet with lots of alone time at work... but evening shift is more my style and the extra duties will help peak some interest.
THURSDAY...
— Work’s okay. I’m feeling a little on the edge of sickness again... like it’s gone but just waiting to come back. Blah!
FRIDAY...
— Day around the house is nice. It lasts an hour longer as I watch Laura’s police college graduation ceremony on the internet. Interesting stuff.
— Work is alright. It’s a short night... the benefit of working an extra hour Wednesday... and I’m at the team leader desk doing some new tasks.
— Got my birthday gift from sissy and family when I get home tonight. A Simple Curve on DVD... I actually can’t resist and watch it right away.
SATURDAY...
— Lazy day. A few phone calls and a ball game on TV and that’s about it. Still not feeling 100% either.
Contraption of the Damned
The telephone is a contraption of the damned!
Here’s the thing with writing... sometimes a person will write a sentence and it’ll be the first time such a sentence has ever been written. Through all eternity of written communication, something that is done millions of times a day, I would expect I’m the first to say the telephone is a contraption of the damned. But, as with talk, writing is cheap... and I doubt I’ll gain much fame for such a statement.
What I mean to say is that I am growing more and more anti-telephone. In fact, there have been times when I’ve daydreamed about getting rid of my phone. I’m not talking about replacing it with a cell phone (although such ideas have also crossed my mind). I’m talking about going completely phoneless. Could it even be done? Most things you register for, be it a club, a new job, or dealings with the bank, call for a phone number. But boy, would it be nice to try.
I probably have somewhere in the neighbourhood of two or three welcomed and pain free phone calls in the run of a month. It is rare for me to want to sit on the phone for more than three minutes. It’s got to be a call with someone I haven’t talked much with lately. Or it’s got to be a call with a purpose that needs to be discussed.
What is utterly painful to me is when I’m on the phone to someone and there is nothing to talk about... I mean nothing! A stretch is commented upon simply to break the on-air silence. And I mean you lift your non-receiver hand into the air... stretch out your muscles... and give a stretch moan as you do it. Then you go about explaining why the other person just heard that moan.
On the phone stretches should be taken as a form of saying “goodbye”. If you hear the other person give that stretch moan, say “okay, well it’s been nice talking to you” and get the hell out of there!
The ideal phone conversation, with people I see pretty regularly, is the two minute job where one of us is saying “I’m getting ready to leave, I’ll see you in twenty minutes, do you want me to bring anything.”
Hell on the phone is when you’re about to see that person within the next two hours, and you’ve got nothing earth shattering to discuss prior to the seeing, yet they decide to chit chat on the phone for the next half hour. To a point where the call ends by you saying “look, if I don’t hang up now I won’t be ready in time to see you.” Ugh!
Phone conversations with more than one other person... also usually painful. Do you ever see those news interviews where they pull in three different experts to discuss a subject? You’ve got someone in Toronto, another person in London, and a third in New York. And all three are talk over one another. They all try to answer a question at the same time. And it’s all a clutter of half communication that comes to an end before anything is actually really shared.
Well that’s the phone call between more than two people. You get people trying to say something at the same time... or conversations going off on some tangent. Like with the TV news interviews, it’s trying to shove too much into too little a period of time. I’d rather watch the one on one interview... and I’d rather have the one on one phone conversation.
Weather is the phone conversation from hell! So if you call someone up to chit chat about the weather, you are using the contraption of the damned to have the conversation from hell. It’s rather powerful stuff.
Now of course there are times when the weather can be discussed on the phone and it’s interesting. If the next door neighbour’s house washed away in a Spring flood... that’s news. If there’s a blizzard going on and you need to step out onto the front step in order to shovel the doorway free every half an hour... also news. To chat on the phone and say “well it’s sunny today.” That’s as much a goodbye as the stretching moan. There’s nothing worth talking about if that’s the comments being made.
And of course there are the telemarketing phone calls. With most telemarketing calls, a machine does the calling and there’s that delay between you answering and the real life operator getting on the line. It’s a few seconds of dead air. Well, on a daily basis, I am hanging up the telephone on that dead air.
Of course there are times when the call is made by an actual person. So every now and then you have to put up with some spiel that goes on for two minutes before you can say “no thanks.”
I used to have a real phone conversation with these people. I’d pay them the courtesy of letting them speak before I’d say my bit. Try to deal with it like they’re a real person. But over the years, and with telemarketers being too pushy, I’ve given up the niceties. It’s a simple “no, I’m not interested.” and then I just hang up. As I’m putting the phone back on the receiver, I hear the little voice on the other side trying to convince me that my money is best in their organization... and then they’re gone.
Twice already this year I’ve gotten phone calls from lawn care businesses. They want to come and give me a free estimate on my lawn care. I don’t have a lawn. There’s a communal bit of grass outside my building but I have no say on what gets done to it.
It’s a great way to stop the sales pitch right in it’s tracks though. “I don’t have a lawn.” What are they going to do? Offer a potted plant estimate instead?
I think maybe I should do that when other businesses come calling. I’ll just tell them “I don’t have any money” and that will be that. Or I could just get ridiculous. If a carpet cleaner calls... “I don’t have any floors.” A furnace cleaner “I don’t have a furnace”. A telephone company... “I don’t have a phone.”
Now that last one would really leave them thinking eh?
Or maybe “I don’t have a lawn” should be the standard. Let the jerks squirm in the uncomfortableness of my apparent insanity.
“Sir, I’d like to offer you this fine deal we’re offering today on long distance telephone savings”
“I don’t have a lawn.”
“Ummmm, I see sir.”
Then I could just start giggling in evil fashion, letting it grow with each breath I take. They’ll be bound to hang up then.
So let it be said that I hate the telephone. In truth, I hate what the telephone has become. A marketing tool and a means to kill time talking about the least interesting things possible. Yes it’s good to hear the voice of a distant loved one, but is it worth putting up with all the hardships just to hear that voice?
Maybe I’ll invest in a good CB radio instead.
“Love ya mom and dad... ten four... over and out.”
— Stay home today. Haven’t been feeling great since Friday really... and it just kept up into today. By after supper I’m starting to pick up though... so hopefully it’s done.
— Some TV, time on the phone with the folks, and internet break up a nappy day.
TUESDAY...
— Feeling better today and go to work. It goes alright there... Not much out of the ordinary. Although we’re told we’re cutting down to two teams instead of three. We once had six. And there won’t be an evening shift. This is all short term... should change again in July... but I talked with management about maybe going straight evenings as someone there to help get priority stuff through. We’ll see.
— Groceries after work and some e-mails after that.
WEDNESDAY...
— In early for a meeting. After that I work an extra hour to take off at another time... probably Friday.
— It’s official. I won’t be a second in charge on a team but I will do some team leader type duties. I’m going back to straight evenings and I’ll help out with the priority stuff when dayshift is all gone home. I’m looking forward to it. It’ll be pretty quiet with lots of alone time at work... but evening shift is more my style and the extra duties will help peak some interest.
THURSDAY...
— Work’s okay. I’m feeling a little on the edge of sickness again... like it’s gone but just waiting to come back. Blah!
FRIDAY...
— Day around the house is nice. It lasts an hour longer as I watch Laura’s police college graduation ceremony on the internet. Interesting stuff.
— Work is alright. It’s a short night... the benefit of working an extra hour Wednesday... and I’m at the team leader desk doing some new tasks.
— Got my birthday gift from sissy and family when I get home tonight. A Simple Curve on DVD... I actually can’t resist and watch it right away.
SATURDAY...
— Lazy day. A few phone calls and a ball game on TV and that’s about it. Still not feeling 100% either.
Contraption of the Damned
The telephone is a contraption of the damned!
Here’s the thing with writing... sometimes a person will write a sentence and it’ll be the first time such a sentence has ever been written. Through all eternity of written communication, something that is done millions of times a day, I would expect I’m the first to say the telephone is a contraption of the damned. But, as with talk, writing is cheap... and I doubt I’ll gain much fame for such a statement.
What I mean to say is that I am growing more and more anti-telephone. In fact, there have been times when I’ve daydreamed about getting rid of my phone. I’m not talking about replacing it with a cell phone (although such ideas have also crossed my mind). I’m talking about going completely phoneless. Could it even be done? Most things you register for, be it a club, a new job, or dealings with the bank, call for a phone number. But boy, would it be nice to try.
I probably have somewhere in the neighbourhood of two or three welcomed and pain free phone calls in the run of a month. It is rare for me to want to sit on the phone for more than three minutes. It’s got to be a call with someone I haven’t talked much with lately. Or it’s got to be a call with a purpose that needs to be discussed.
What is utterly painful to me is when I’m on the phone to someone and there is nothing to talk about... I mean nothing! A stretch is commented upon simply to break the on-air silence. And I mean you lift your non-receiver hand into the air... stretch out your muscles... and give a stretch moan as you do it. Then you go about explaining why the other person just heard that moan.
On the phone stretches should be taken as a form of saying “goodbye”. If you hear the other person give that stretch moan, say “okay, well it’s been nice talking to you” and get the hell out of there!
The ideal phone conversation, with people I see pretty regularly, is the two minute job where one of us is saying “I’m getting ready to leave, I’ll see you in twenty minutes, do you want me to bring anything.”
Hell on the phone is when you’re about to see that person within the next two hours, and you’ve got nothing earth shattering to discuss prior to the seeing, yet they decide to chit chat on the phone for the next half hour. To a point where the call ends by you saying “look, if I don’t hang up now I won’t be ready in time to see you.” Ugh!
Phone conversations with more than one other person... also usually painful. Do you ever see those news interviews where they pull in three different experts to discuss a subject? You’ve got someone in Toronto, another person in London, and a third in New York. And all three are talk over one another. They all try to answer a question at the same time. And it’s all a clutter of half communication that comes to an end before anything is actually really shared.
Well that’s the phone call between more than two people. You get people trying to say something at the same time... or conversations going off on some tangent. Like with the TV news interviews, it’s trying to shove too much into too little a period of time. I’d rather watch the one on one interview... and I’d rather have the one on one phone conversation.
Weather is the phone conversation from hell! So if you call someone up to chit chat about the weather, you are using the contraption of the damned to have the conversation from hell. It’s rather powerful stuff.
Now of course there are times when the weather can be discussed on the phone and it’s interesting. If the next door neighbour’s house washed away in a Spring flood... that’s news. If there’s a blizzard going on and you need to step out onto the front step in order to shovel the doorway free every half an hour... also news. To chat on the phone and say “well it’s sunny today.” That’s as much a goodbye as the stretching moan. There’s nothing worth talking about if that’s the comments being made.
And of course there are the telemarketing phone calls. With most telemarketing calls, a machine does the calling and there’s that delay between you answering and the real life operator getting on the line. It’s a few seconds of dead air. Well, on a daily basis, I am hanging up the telephone on that dead air.
Of course there are times when the call is made by an actual person. So every now and then you have to put up with some spiel that goes on for two minutes before you can say “no thanks.”
I used to have a real phone conversation with these people. I’d pay them the courtesy of letting them speak before I’d say my bit. Try to deal with it like they’re a real person. But over the years, and with telemarketers being too pushy, I’ve given up the niceties. It’s a simple “no, I’m not interested.” and then I just hang up. As I’m putting the phone back on the receiver, I hear the little voice on the other side trying to convince me that my money is best in their organization... and then they’re gone.
Twice already this year I’ve gotten phone calls from lawn care businesses. They want to come and give me a free estimate on my lawn care. I don’t have a lawn. There’s a communal bit of grass outside my building but I have no say on what gets done to it.
It’s a great way to stop the sales pitch right in it’s tracks though. “I don’t have a lawn.” What are they going to do? Offer a potted plant estimate instead?
I think maybe I should do that when other businesses come calling. I’ll just tell them “I don’t have any money” and that will be that. Or I could just get ridiculous. If a carpet cleaner calls... “I don’t have any floors.” A furnace cleaner “I don’t have a furnace”. A telephone company... “I don’t have a phone.”
Now that last one would really leave them thinking eh?
Or maybe “I don’t have a lawn” should be the standard. Let the jerks squirm in the uncomfortableness of my apparent insanity.
“Sir, I’d like to offer you this fine deal we’re offering today on long distance telephone savings”
“I don’t have a lawn.”
“Ummmm, I see sir.”
Then I could just start giggling in evil fashion, letting it grow with each breath I take. They’ll be bound to hang up then.
So let it be said that I hate the telephone. In truth, I hate what the telephone has become. A marketing tool and a means to kill time talking about the least interesting things possible. Yes it’s good to hear the voice of a distant loved one, but is it worth putting up with all the hardships just to hear that voice?
Maybe I’ll invest in a good CB radio instead.
“Love ya mom and dad... ten four... over and out.”
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