Expiry Date
Shoulders only last thirty-eight years.
The warranty runs out and the part falls off
Clunking out of place
Underneath the hood of skin.
It’s that simple.
To bed without a thought while thirty-eight
Awake with tenderness at thirty-nine.
A little rotator exercise should do the trick.
But the strength fades
Each flexion brings a rrr rrr rrrr
Of the clunky engine
That’s supposed to move my arm.
Twelve hours after wake it hurts
Screaming bloody murder with a lift
Ice pressed into the joint
Trying to cool down the over-revved.
How to explain an injury?
Athletes point to crashes
Warriors putting body on the line
Merely hurt where others would die.
But in my sleep I was
Rolling wrong I suppose
As the expiry date has come
As I drifted to sleep
My last
Of thirty-eight.
SATURDAY…
--- Work is pretty slow… fairly normal for a Saturday.
--- Get an air filter for the car after work and the plastic molding around that part of the engine are delicate and brittle. A few pieces aren’t clicking together as well now as they were before the air filter change. Hopefully it’s not enough to cause issues under the hood. This is my first real complaint relating to Mazda… in about 3.5 years of driving their car.
SUNDAY…
--- Work is quiet… softball fun. We win 12-2… or 12-1.. or something like that. With me pitching and good defense behind me.
--- Stay up late for nights. I’m falling asleep on the sofa by 1:30. Could be trouble for nights not to stay later than that.
MONDAY…
--- Fairly normal night shift at work.
TUESDAY…
--- Up late. I don’t get out of bed until around 1:30. No afternoon nap today. I’ll push through tonight.
WEDNESDAY…
--- Up late morning and jet lagged. Lunch with Laura, Cara Lea and Janice is nice times. Always good catching up with Laura.
--- Exorcism not on TV. The first two movies of the series on the old movie network. Never saw the second one before. First is a classic… second is overblown, 1970s weird silliness.
THURSDAY…
--- Quiet day around the house. Montreal stunk against Boston tonight. Turned it off after two periods… just too painful to keep going.
--- Heard some Question Period stuff on the news. Hearing members of the Bloc seriously complaining to the government saying that the Conservatives have “continued to favor Newfoundland” while Quebec has been given a raw deal… this just angered me. Also made me realize how messed up we all are. It’s literally two people unable to agree that the sky is blue. The question is, which province is looking at the true blue sky… and which is looking up at bright pink? The Bloc has no business in federal politics… none.
FRIDAY…
--- Laundry and groceries and some politics on TV. Bothers me not only with how immaturely politicians act but also how the media covering them don’t seem to be annoyed by this at all. I’m tired of reporters bringing up a point that I find mean, petty and embarrassing of a politician, but rather than speak of it as “this isn’t good enough and we need more from our elected leaders”… the reporter smiles as if it was a particularly well done part of a comedic act.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
Making It Up As I Go Along #456
A Small group of… poems… phrases… All inspired by shift change at work… and a fool who has it in for me.
The Shift Change Collection
1.
I wish my deeds could be more cold
My actions more ruthless
In order to justify
My villainous reputation.
2.
I spoke to her
She answered with gritted grunts
3.
She arrives
Heat radiating
Fueled from hell’s heart
As she prepares
To stab at me
4.
Her love
For me
Overwhelms
In
Bizzaro-World
And on a lighter note…
How Does She Sit Like That?
Aside me at the movies
Sitting Indian style upon her chair
Looking so Comfy
Curled up
As if in love seat
A cozy living room time.
I creak into my seat
Grunting out of my jacket
Probing the floor with my toes
Aiming ahead
Hoping for enough space
To straighten sore joints.
An hour in she remains
Living room comfortable next to me
And my mostly straight knee
Aches for a stand
Sitting cross legged
Is a super power
Curled up in her seat
I’m unable to see her cape.
FRIDAY…
--- Dayshift. Raining much of the day and I go to the caf for lunch with Shannon and Megan… nice time. Some curling on TV tonight. Close but poor ol’ Newfoundland lose. Have to win tomorrow to get to the finals.
SATURDAY…
--- Quiet work day. Some TV in the evening. Laugh harder at the Ricky Gervais Show than I’ve laughed in a long time. Good stuff.
SUNDAY…
--- Win at ball. I actually have to pitch this one and it’s a bit of fun to loop it in there.
--- Work straight from ball. Fairly ordinary night.
MONDAY…
--- Happy birthday to my father. In Florida for his big day so I’m likely not talking with him.
TUESDAY…
--- Up around 11:00 and catch up on some TV and relaxing. Every first day after work blocks is like the jetlag of flying across country. The downside of shiftwork.
WEDNESDAY…
--- Quiet day, not much going on. Supposedly there was an earthquake that was felt in Ottawa, but I felt nothing. Less than a 5.0 so that may explain it.
THURSDAY…
--- Got my cardboard recycling box back. The dimwit who stole it two weeks ago used it again this week without removing my markers… so scooped up it was.
--- Got the car looked at over to Mazda and did an hour walk while they had it. Groceries followed. And looks like I need a new air filter… they never mentioned anything when I paid but it’s marked on the form.
The Shift Change Collection
1.
I wish my deeds could be more cold
My actions more ruthless
In order to justify
My villainous reputation.
2.
I spoke to her
She answered with gritted grunts
3.
She arrives
Heat radiating
Fueled from hell’s heart
As she prepares
To stab at me
4.
Her love
For me
Overwhelms
In
Bizzaro-World
And on a lighter note…
How Does She Sit Like That?
Aside me at the movies
Sitting Indian style upon her chair
Looking so Comfy
Curled up
As if in love seat
A cozy living room time.
I creak into my seat
Grunting out of my jacket
Probing the floor with my toes
Aiming ahead
Hoping for enough space
To straighten sore joints.
An hour in she remains
Living room comfortable next to me
And my mostly straight knee
Aches for a stand
Sitting cross legged
Is a super power
Curled up in her seat
I’m unable to see her cape.
FRIDAY…
--- Dayshift. Raining much of the day and I go to the caf for lunch with Shannon and Megan… nice time. Some curling on TV tonight. Close but poor ol’ Newfoundland lose. Have to win tomorrow to get to the finals.
SATURDAY…
--- Quiet work day. Some TV in the evening. Laugh harder at the Ricky Gervais Show than I’ve laughed in a long time. Good stuff.
SUNDAY…
--- Win at ball. I actually have to pitch this one and it’s a bit of fun to loop it in there.
--- Work straight from ball. Fairly ordinary night.
MONDAY…
--- Happy birthday to my father. In Florida for his big day so I’m likely not talking with him.
TUESDAY…
--- Up around 11:00 and catch up on some TV and relaxing. Every first day after work blocks is like the jetlag of flying across country. The downside of shiftwork.
WEDNESDAY…
--- Quiet day, not much going on. Supposedly there was an earthquake that was felt in Ottawa, but I felt nothing. Less than a 5.0 so that may explain it.
THURSDAY…
--- Got my cardboard recycling box back. The dimwit who stole it two weeks ago used it again this week without removing my markers… so scooped up it was.
--- Got the car looked at over to Mazda and did an hour walk while they had it. Groceries followed. And looks like I need a new air filter… they never mentioned anything when I paid but it’s marked on the form.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Making It Up As I Go Along #455
When Beauty Searches for You
Standing at the gas pump
Where beauty turns and walks away
Concrete ground
Stained in crude
Metal cylinders spitting gas
Screeching beeps asking for credit cards
To be swiped
The other way.
Cold breezes pinch cheeks
Standing there feeding the car
Ears tucked under wool
The car roof appearing colder
Blending in
With the oiled pavement
And beeping pump.
But atop the roof lands beauty
The breeze bringing white flakes
Under the overhead canopy
And dancing into my attention.
If these were man made
We’d marvel at the genius
Creating such detail in such a small area
Microchip technology
Created by nature
And ignored en mass.
It’s been years since I’ve examined a snow flake
Comparing the star like simplicity of one
With the branching mazes of another
The blackness of my car’s roof
Although cold and harsh
Is a canopy for winter
Framing individual details
Of that which comes by the billions.
And a cold winter’s fill up
Becomes a time of wonder.
THURSDAY…
--- I live in a neighbourhood of idiots. Come home from work and find my cardboard recycling bin gone. Even though I do have it personally marked, some dink scooped it up and claimed it for themselves… again. Sometimes I hate my neighbours. Garbage and recycling collection are concepts most here don’t grasp. Put it out after 6:00 PM on Wednesday, we’re told. Yet several put theirs out Tuesday afternoon… leaving it to wait for days. And every week at least two people put out plastics when cardboard are due… or vise versa. Meatheads.
FRIDAY…
--- My mind is blown that there are Americans wanting to drop the pay and benefits of teachers. In hard financial times you decide to pick on teachers?
SATURDAY…
--- Pouring rain much of the day. But it turns to snow while we work overnight and the drive home is tricky in thickly covered roads. Still, I make it alright, just slower. Pretty quiet night at work as well.
SUNDAY…
--- Nap a bit earlier before a night shift due to softball before work. We lose… play ok but we were sloppy enough that a good team will take advantage of those chances.
--- Work is alright.
MONDAY…
--- Up a bit earlier than I should be after working nights. Out of bed by about 10:30 or so.
--- Lazy day around the house… some TV and naps.
TUESDAY…
--- Watch some news coverage of the worldwide celebration of women. Among the footage is dancing Asian women. It somehow seems very inadequate and trivial to celebrate half the human species with smiley bopping to ABBA songs.
--- Grocery run… nice day but I hear the snow’s a coming.
--- Getting really sick of hockey in several ways… today, Zedeno Chara almost decapitates Max Pacioretty. It may not have been intentional but, if it wasn’t, it was at least careless and reckless. It seems there’s something new to debate about the violence of hockey on a weekly basis and it’s just tiresome to think about and hear this stuff.
WEDNESDAY…
--- Furnace guy comes today. So I’m around the house for that and then the snow follows and I’m left home.
--- Chara gets nothing from the NHL for his hit. The NHL is an awful joke.
Standing at the gas pump
Where beauty turns and walks away
Concrete ground
Stained in crude
Metal cylinders spitting gas
Screeching beeps asking for credit cards
To be swiped
The other way.
Cold breezes pinch cheeks
Standing there feeding the car
Ears tucked under wool
The car roof appearing colder
Blending in
With the oiled pavement
And beeping pump.
But atop the roof lands beauty
The breeze bringing white flakes
Under the overhead canopy
And dancing into my attention.
If these were man made
We’d marvel at the genius
Creating such detail in such a small area
Microchip technology
Created by nature
And ignored en mass.
It’s been years since I’ve examined a snow flake
Comparing the star like simplicity of one
With the branching mazes of another
The blackness of my car’s roof
Although cold and harsh
Is a canopy for winter
Framing individual details
Of that which comes by the billions.
And a cold winter’s fill up
Becomes a time of wonder.
THURSDAY…
--- I live in a neighbourhood of idiots. Come home from work and find my cardboard recycling bin gone. Even though I do have it personally marked, some dink scooped it up and claimed it for themselves… again. Sometimes I hate my neighbours. Garbage and recycling collection are concepts most here don’t grasp. Put it out after 6:00 PM on Wednesday, we’re told. Yet several put theirs out Tuesday afternoon… leaving it to wait for days. And every week at least two people put out plastics when cardboard are due… or vise versa. Meatheads.
FRIDAY…
--- My mind is blown that there are Americans wanting to drop the pay and benefits of teachers. In hard financial times you decide to pick on teachers?
SATURDAY…
--- Pouring rain much of the day. But it turns to snow while we work overnight and the drive home is tricky in thickly covered roads. Still, I make it alright, just slower. Pretty quiet night at work as well.
SUNDAY…
--- Nap a bit earlier before a night shift due to softball before work. We lose… play ok but we were sloppy enough that a good team will take advantage of those chances.
--- Work is alright.
MONDAY…
--- Up a bit earlier than I should be after working nights. Out of bed by about 10:30 or so.
--- Lazy day around the house… some TV and naps.
TUESDAY…
--- Watch some news coverage of the worldwide celebration of women. Among the footage is dancing Asian women. It somehow seems very inadequate and trivial to celebrate half the human species with smiley bopping to ABBA songs.
--- Grocery run… nice day but I hear the snow’s a coming.
--- Getting really sick of hockey in several ways… today, Zedeno Chara almost decapitates Max Pacioretty. It may not have been intentional but, if it wasn’t, it was at least careless and reckless. It seems there’s something new to debate about the violence of hockey on a weekly basis and it’s just tiresome to think about and hear this stuff.
WEDNESDAY…
--- Furnace guy comes today. So I’m around the house for that and then the snow follows and I’m left home.
--- Chara gets nothing from the NHL for his hit. The NHL is an awful joke.
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
Making It Up As I Go Along #454
Far Off Worlds
Wal-Mart has become a foreign world to me. It’s Mars. A frightening place.
I go to Wal-Mart about once every two years. This week was one of those times and I’m out of place, trying to blend with the aliens while searching for my way… I don’t want to look too out of place for fear of what these ‘people’ may do.
First off, this place is so enormous that they have two large entrances. One brings you to the grocery side, the other to the clothes and household stuff.
You know you’ve got problems when a box store is so large they need separate mega entrances at either end. I half expect a bus system inside to bring the elderly from groceries to patio furniture… a journey that would probably take ten minutes on foot.
And even though the in-store bus system is not yet in place, the entrance greeter remains.
I’ve never felt comfortable with the greeter. I don’t need to be welcomed into your store, and if you aren’t there to welcome, you can only be there as a shoplifting deterrent. They may say “hello, welcome.” But they really mean “watch yourself, I’ve got my eye on you.”
I’m in luck, the west entrance greeter is busy making small talk with a mother and child and I slip in behind them.
My luck doesn’t last long though. The store is football stadium size. Finding the photography department will be no different than searching out that haystack needle. I turn to the right and begin my journey.
Wal-Mart is full of wanderers. In some cases, it’s due to energy conservation. If young and old alike are needing to get from one end of the place to the other, a slow and steady shuffling of the feet is the best way of getting them there without exhaustion setting in. In fact, I would think such a place should put lawn furniture and camping supplies dead centre. That way there’ll at least be a rest station at the halfway point from the books department to the frozen food isle. And, for those who began their journey too close to closing time, the tents can act as shelter for the night.
Other wanderers just appear to be mentally broken. Trudging through the store’s isles in zombified states… my mission is slowed by their hellish torment… I’m guessing they’ve been here for days… lost… and tired… and frightened.
By the time I reach the drug store, I’m sure I’m in the wrong area for photography. I turn and peer off into the distance, trying to read far off banners advertising the department that has colonized that distant land.
And there, way off on the horizon, I see “Photo Lab”. Perhaps it says “Pharmacy”… the words are too far away… but I begin my journey, hoping for salvation.
I pass the land of bras and panties… a lone man careful not to step off the pathway… not wanting to be sucked in to the Wal-Mart lingerie department (which is a far cry from Victoria’s Secrets or La Senza in terms of male intrigue). I scoot through toasters and mixers. I navigate picture frames and vases. And I reach the photo counter. It is indeed the photo lab! My eyes had not deceived me.
“Do you still do passport photos?” I ask.
“We never have.” The lady behind the counter deadpans. “You want the Photo Centre, over there.”
She points a finger towards the northeast. Off into the distance as one would point from the shores of Newfoundland telling you “Ireland lays over there.”
I begin a new journey… slower… and nearing defeat.
I revisit picture frames and vases… dumfounded that one box store could have two separate photo-related departments. I skim the border of toasters and mixers but veer to the east a little earlier than I need to… avoiding the lingerie department… substituting it with end tables, porch benches and magazine racks.
I break out at the candy section, spotting a sign for the Photo Centre. It’s there, the first department to your left, if you entered through the grocery entrance. If only I had chosen more wisely before entering this land… I could have been in and out within seconds.
I pass a family caravan… each lugging a shopping cart. They remind me of desert caravans where camels lug the supplies. These carts are lifelines for the people, helping them through their journey.
And then I reach my destination. The Photo Centre. Where the walls are covered with soft, plush teddy bears and a machine churns what looks to be cotton candy, but I think is an inedible cotton substitute used for stuffing the walled bears.
“Passport photos?” I pant… exhausted from my travels.
“Sure,” states the girl without a care in the world… “Sit over there.”
Within minutes, my photo is taken, printed and trimmed. It took longer to park my car and enter this behemoth of a store than it did for me to have my picture taken with a developed copy in my hand.
Thankful, I burst from the store with newfound energy. I push past the greeter as he welcomes a couple that simply want to pick up some milk and bread. And I emerge to the real world… finally able to breathe the crisp air once again.
I’ve returned from Mars… I’m home.
WEDNESDAY…
--- Rough and long day at work. Just not geared for it.
--- Groceries and the bank after work… means it’s 7:30 by the time I get in the house. Blah.
--- Survivor and Republic of Doyle help make the evening better.
THURSDAY…
--- Better work day today and get my passport pics done after work… bit of French Toast for supper and up late for night shift.
FRIDAY/SATURDAY…
--- Work two nights. Mostly snoozing at home with some TV and the work when I’m not there. Friday is pretty interesting and busy while Saturday is fairly quiet.
SUNDAY…
--- Little sleep to start my four days off. Up after about three hours. Back to bed for an hour and a half at 1:00 this afternoon… and ball, a double header, after that. Good times on the field.
MONDAY…
--- Snow day. About 15 cm falls. Nice day to do nothing.
--- Trade deadline day in the NHL is so overdone by Canadian TV that it borders on ridiculous. Ten hours of coverage for very little action… leaves us with constant over analysis of stuff that’s barely newsworthy.
TUESDAY…
--- Quiet day, some laundry and such. Geoff comes in the evening and we get some burgers from the Works and watch hockey while chatting. Good times.
Wal-Mart has become a foreign world to me. It’s Mars. A frightening place.
I go to Wal-Mart about once every two years. This week was one of those times and I’m out of place, trying to blend with the aliens while searching for my way… I don’t want to look too out of place for fear of what these ‘people’ may do.
First off, this place is so enormous that they have two large entrances. One brings you to the grocery side, the other to the clothes and household stuff.
You know you’ve got problems when a box store is so large they need separate mega entrances at either end. I half expect a bus system inside to bring the elderly from groceries to patio furniture… a journey that would probably take ten minutes on foot.
And even though the in-store bus system is not yet in place, the entrance greeter remains.
I’ve never felt comfortable with the greeter. I don’t need to be welcomed into your store, and if you aren’t there to welcome, you can only be there as a shoplifting deterrent. They may say “hello, welcome.” But they really mean “watch yourself, I’ve got my eye on you.”
I’m in luck, the west entrance greeter is busy making small talk with a mother and child and I slip in behind them.
My luck doesn’t last long though. The store is football stadium size. Finding the photography department will be no different than searching out that haystack needle. I turn to the right and begin my journey.
Wal-Mart is full of wanderers. In some cases, it’s due to energy conservation. If young and old alike are needing to get from one end of the place to the other, a slow and steady shuffling of the feet is the best way of getting them there without exhaustion setting in. In fact, I would think such a place should put lawn furniture and camping supplies dead centre. That way there’ll at least be a rest station at the halfway point from the books department to the frozen food isle. And, for those who began their journey too close to closing time, the tents can act as shelter for the night.
Other wanderers just appear to be mentally broken. Trudging through the store’s isles in zombified states… my mission is slowed by their hellish torment… I’m guessing they’ve been here for days… lost… and tired… and frightened.
By the time I reach the drug store, I’m sure I’m in the wrong area for photography. I turn and peer off into the distance, trying to read far off banners advertising the department that has colonized that distant land.
And there, way off on the horizon, I see “Photo Lab”. Perhaps it says “Pharmacy”… the words are too far away… but I begin my journey, hoping for salvation.
I pass the land of bras and panties… a lone man careful not to step off the pathway… not wanting to be sucked in to the Wal-Mart lingerie department (which is a far cry from Victoria’s Secrets or La Senza in terms of male intrigue). I scoot through toasters and mixers. I navigate picture frames and vases. And I reach the photo counter. It is indeed the photo lab! My eyes had not deceived me.
“Do you still do passport photos?” I ask.
“We never have.” The lady behind the counter deadpans. “You want the Photo Centre, over there.”
She points a finger towards the northeast. Off into the distance as one would point from the shores of Newfoundland telling you “Ireland lays over there.”
I begin a new journey… slower… and nearing defeat.
I revisit picture frames and vases… dumfounded that one box store could have two separate photo-related departments. I skim the border of toasters and mixers but veer to the east a little earlier than I need to… avoiding the lingerie department… substituting it with end tables, porch benches and magazine racks.
I break out at the candy section, spotting a sign for the Photo Centre. It’s there, the first department to your left, if you entered through the grocery entrance. If only I had chosen more wisely before entering this land… I could have been in and out within seconds.
I pass a family caravan… each lugging a shopping cart. They remind me of desert caravans where camels lug the supplies. These carts are lifelines for the people, helping them through their journey.
And then I reach my destination. The Photo Centre. Where the walls are covered with soft, plush teddy bears and a machine churns what looks to be cotton candy, but I think is an inedible cotton substitute used for stuffing the walled bears.
“Passport photos?” I pant… exhausted from my travels.
“Sure,” states the girl without a care in the world… “Sit over there.”
Within minutes, my photo is taken, printed and trimmed. It took longer to park my car and enter this behemoth of a store than it did for me to have my picture taken with a developed copy in my hand.
Thankful, I burst from the store with newfound energy. I push past the greeter as he welcomes a couple that simply want to pick up some milk and bread. And I emerge to the real world… finally able to breathe the crisp air once again.
I’ve returned from Mars… I’m home.
WEDNESDAY…
--- Rough and long day at work. Just not geared for it.
--- Groceries and the bank after work… means it’s 7:30 by the time I get in the house. Blah.
--- Survivor and Republic of Doyle help make the evening better.
THURSDAY…
--- Better work day today and get my passport pics done after work… bit of French Toast for supper and up late for night shift.
FRIDAY/SATURDAY…
--- Work two nights. Mostly snoozing at home with some TV and the work when I’m not there. Friday is pretty interesting and busy while Saturday is fairly quiet.
SUNDAY…
--- Little sleep to start my four days off. Up after about three hours. Back to bed for an hour and a half at 1:00 this afternoon… and ball, a double header, after that. Good times on the field.
MONDAY…
--- Snow day. About 15 cm falls. Nice day to do nothing.
--- Trade deadline day in the NHL is so overdone by Canadian TV that it borders on ridiculous. Ten hours of coverage for very little action… leaves us with constant over analysis of stuff that’s barely newsworthy.
TUESDAY…
--- Quiet day, some laundry and such. Geoff comes in the evening and we get some burgers from the Works and watch hockey while chatting. Good times.
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