So virtually nothing worth mentioning has happened to me over the last week. In fact, since coming home from night shift last Tuesday morning, the car has not left my driveway. I guess it should leave at some point today as the low fuel light was on when I parked it last. Though there's likely enough in the tank to be able to fill up after work tomorrow.
But that’s about it… Low fuel in the car. Otherwise, I’ve caught up on some TV. Gone for some walks. Hung around the house. Not much else.
I have thought that the world of technology has gone quite mad. Apple announces the new iPhone 7 and removes the headphone jack. So now you either need Bluetooth headphones or a thing-a-ma-jig to act as a go between with your headphones and your phones charger port. And when they announce this, they actually straight faced talk about how this is a sign of courage on Apple’s part.
All this has done is make me not want to upgrade my phone. Was there really a major problem with having a headphone jack? Was this a problem customers were complaining about over the years? “Man, I wish I didn’t have this bloody headphone jack!” No, it’s dumb and seems more like a sign of a desire to be able to charge people for connection accessories or new ear buds. At no point did I think of it as courageous.
Businesses often do this kind of thing. Present the customer with something new in a light that makes it seem as though the customer actually wanted this. When, in fact, all it has done is make things better for the business itself. Like grocery store self checkouts. They talk about this as if it’s the greatest thing you could imagine. But it’s really just a sort of fantasy camp for adults who never got a chance to work the cash at a grocery store before. That’s a fantasy camp I, for one, have never fantasized about. Maybe if the store gave customers a 20% discount on anything you purchase through the self serve. But giving me the privilege of checking through my own groceries… Scanning barcodes and the like… So that I can still pay them full price?!?! Forget that. I’d rather line up at a checkout manned with a store employee than walk up to an empty self serve machine.
And speaking of businesses. If I am at a restaurant or waiting to board your plane and you talk to me using the term “guest” instead of “customer”… I’m going to assume your service is coming to me free of charge. Guests don’t pay. Honestly, customer should not be seen as some sort of bad word by these companies. I am not your guest. I’m your customer and I expect a certain level of service out of you.
Businesses do this stuff so gradually, you hardly notice. Airlines used to allow free luggage check in. Free meals… Actual meals… That you looked forward to eating. They offered amazing things like… Leg room! Like really, soon the last three rows on a plane will be so tightly packed together that you’ll have to sit in your seat cross legged as if it’s a yoga position. Now they’ll charge you $10 for a sub sandwich which is actually just a dinner role with some lettuce, cheese and meat packed in it three days ago. At this rate, a decade from now, plane travel will be like subway commuting. No seats… Just hand holds coming down from the ceiling.
One business that has successfully integrated using the customer as the service provider is the gas station. Of course, they call it a “Service Station”. A cruel joke on us “guests” as we are the actual ones performing the service that we’re paying for. Get out of the car… Pump your own gas… Clean your own windshield… If you aren’t paying at the pump you have to walk over to the station and line up behind scratch ticket players (because every time I actually walk into a service station there’s someone stood at the cash buying, scratching, and talking to the cashier about scratch cards and the strategies to successfully scratch a winner) pay… Walk back to your car… Endure the evil stares of awaiting gas pumpers who simply can not believe that you didn’t simply pay at the pump, like civilized people… Then drive away in shame.
It wasn’t all that long ago that for an extra $0.05 a litre, you could get full service. Just drive up and tell them how much of what grade of gas you’d like and then sit back and be gas station pampered. Windshield cleaned… Oil checked… Cash transaction done right there (either with actual money or the little clip board where you could sign or credit card receipt like some millionaire that just completed the paperwork on some multimillion dollar merger). All this and you didn’t even need to unclip your seat belt.
Sure there was a time when there wasn’t even such a thing as self service. You wanted gas, and it was like you drove in to pit row at the Indy 500. A team of employees would swarm your car, fill you up, and worship the ground you walked on… All just an expected part of the motoring experience.
But that’s all another world. Where you were a customer and that meant being treating like royalty. In today’s world, you’re a guest that’s treated like a temporary intern. I think the next time someone invites me to their house as their guest, I’ll expect that means they’ll want me to do some vacuuming, or dishes. In 2016, that’s what being a guest is all about.
