Making It Up As I Go Along #355

TUESDAY...
— Sleep a bit better than most first day shifts. That is to say, I get about 5.5 hours.
— Work is alright. I leave a bit early to go to supper with Janice, Cara, and Laura. It’s good... much laughter and pretty good food.
— Obama is in. It all happens while I’m working but I watch highlights in the evening. Pretty impressive how much people have been swept up in it. I hope people don’t expect Obama to walk on water... but it’s at least good to see hopefulness rather than anger.

WEDNESDAY...
— Sleep pretty good for middle of day shift. I got to sleep by 10:30ish last night and slept pretty much up to the alarm... with a little wake around 3:30.
— Work is crazy. The extra sleep helped keep my mind alive through it anyway.
— Groceries... then some napping and TV in the evening. It’s up late night again... transition time.

THURSDAY...
— Mostly a sleep day. Sleep in until 10:00. Fall asleep on the sofa off and on between 1:00 and 2:00. Afternoon nap at 2:15. Up again to get ready for work at 4:00.
— Work is pretty good. Fairly steady evening... not much down time but not run off the feet either.
— My neck and back are acting up. Tired back and muscles are tight in the neck.

FRIDAY...
— Quiet time around the house with some sleep and some laundry.
— Work is alright. Pretty steady for most of the night. I skip the gym because my neck and upper back are acting up. First time in about a year but I’ve felt this before... not horrible... I can move... but tender.
— For the first time in years... a no SPAM e-mail day. Not a one. Crazy.

SATURDAY...
— Sleep until around 11:00. Hang at home after I rise. Taking it easy and staying warm. It’s -36 in the morning with the wind chill. Blah!

SUNDAY...
— Softball... we lose... again. But at least get close this time. 14-10. Some food and drink after the game with Nick, Steve, Dusty, Dave... Melissa and Steve’s girlfriend join us there.

MONDAY...
— Some afternoon reading. It’s just still too cold to go outside for any length of time.
— Evening movie with Melissa. Slumdog Millionaire... lives up to the hype in my books. I think it’s the best movie I’ve seen this year... maybe two years.


Reasons to Turn Off the Tube
TV commercials are insanely bad. Today I saw one of those ads for bathtubs. Those walk in tubs for the elderly. Today they also include selling it to those with “larger body types”. That’s the phraseology used when a business is trying to sell an item to a fat person. They also listed the safety features that come with these tubs. Safety features such as... taps. Seriously, they list a tap as a safety feature? Well I guess it is if the anti-tap bathtub option is getting the elderly hiking buckets of boiling water from the kitchen stove to the bathroom.

There are other poorly advertised things. The car insurance with the crazy woman. She’s the one who drives up to a four way stop behind, as with the bath tubs, an elderly person. She sits in her car and goes insane. Yelling out the window and screeching off around the car giving herself a whiplash. Of course the entire ad misses the point. That some elderly person is left sitting lifelessly in the middle of an intersection. Probably dead behind the wheel. Heart attack, most likely. But at least he died with lower car insurance. If only he made it home to die in his walk in bathtub... that one with the safety taps.

There’s also commercials for useless items. But, in hopes of selling vast quantities of the uselessness, they advertise them as being state of the art. Of being things we can never get by without.

In hopes to strike a note with those of us who are losing all our money trying to heat our homes, there’s a new blanket being advertised. You see, if you’d like to keep your home heating bill down, you may want to not turn the thermostat up on those cold days. Blankets are good but those suckers without this new, futuristic blanket, will be trapped once they pull the covers up.

At this point in time, a poor woman is seen struggling under her blanket as the phone rings. Sitting so close to her... but she’s unable to free herself in time. Never fear, Miracle Blanket is here. This blanket comes with sleeves. So you’re laying there looking like a fleeced up Buddhist Monk.

The commercial continues with the insanity. People are walking through their house with the blanket left on. Sleeves allow you to go to the stove and stir the pot while blanketed. Need to take out the trash? Well it’s cold out there too... keep your blanket on. The family of fleece sleeved blanketeers even venture out to a Fall ball game. All toasty warm in the stands while other fans sit slack jawed, nervously trying to slide along the stands to give the cult family as much elbow room as possible. If people are so stupid as to get excited about paying $30 to drape themselves in blanketry, all hope for them partaking as normal individuals, in society, is lost.

We have the bearded man who sells all sorts of garbage without the aid of microphone. At least there must not be a microphone within fifty feet of him... it’s the only reason I can see for his excessive loudness. He isn’t yelling or shouting so much... he’s just got this great bellow of a voice going. I imagine him in bed with the wife, rolling over at 3:00 in the morning wanting to gently whisper a late night secret to her. He gently touches her on the shoulder and whispers “ARE YOU UP HONEY!” She flies out of the bed and collapses onto the floor with a heart attack. Soon after, the bearded loud man has to buy his wife one of those walk in tubs. Her heart can’t take the strain of climbing over the side.

So this guy sells all sorts of things. Today, his main product is Mighty Putty. This is play dough that can be used anywhere. It sticks handles back on cups. Sticks towel racks up on walls. Plugs leaks in pipes and puts legs back on chairs. I’d like to see an entire house built of Mighty Putty. That thing would be indestructible!

There’s Sham Wow. An absorbent cloth made by Germans. As said in the commercial “You know German’s make good stuff.” What? Why would I know that? Like those suckers under sleeveless blankets, those who don’t buy a Sham Wow are “throwing their money away” on paper towels. Yes, many an empire has been lost due to excessive paper towel purchases. The Sham Wow is even washable. Just throw it into the washing machine after you use it. Although I’m often left wondering how the machine fills up with water if this super absorbent cloth is soaking it up as it pours into the basin? I wonder if a Sham Wow folded in the corner of a room could be used as a dehumidifier? Sucking the moisture right out of the air. Ah, thank God for those Germans.

Making It Up As I Go Along #354

MONDAY...
— Long day at work. Pretty busy and my mind is fuzzy with tiredness... so not much comes easy today.
— Late supper... a little TV... and bed.

TUESDAY...
— Sleep was bad again. When I went to bed Monday, I lay awake for two hours and slept about four hours all total. A fuzzy day at work again.
— At 7:00 PM, it was -1 outside. At 8:00 it was -12. And by 9:00 it was -17. Wind chill went from -8 to -30 in those two hours. Nasty turn.
— I sleep much of the time between 9:00 and 10:45. Needed to try to keep me going late tonight for the night shift tomorrow.

WEDNESDAY...
— Caught up on some sleep. In bed until 10:00 this morning. It’s cold cold cold... -39 with the wind this morning. Bah!
— Some TV before a nap in the afternoon.
— Simpson’s on TV post nap... shower and get ready for work. Not looking forward to stepping out into the cold.
— Work is fine... not much out of the ordinary. I stay out of the gym cause I can’t handle the thought of the cold when I walk back from there. Greek for supper is nice with Annick, Melissa, and Phil.

THURSDAY...
— Pretty good sleep. A fairly laid back late morning/early afternoon. It’s still freezing out there. -25ish.
— Afternoon nap followed by the Simpson’s and a shower.
— Work is fine. A bit busy for a while and calmed later on. Have a couple of interesting things to deal with too. But overall, it was a tricky week. I don’t know if it was a group of things happening that I hadn’t seen much of, or a lack of sleep, or a combo of things... but this week felt like I was, experience wise, about two months ago.
— Hit the gym tonight... it’s cold going over though.
— Real cold driving home. The car says -25 at the office... it’s at -29 by the team I reach home. Good thing there’s no wind in the early morning.

FRIDAY...
— Up around 11:00... which means I sleep for about 4 hours. Surprisingly, I’m not too sleepy today. I stay in and lay pretty low though. Watch some DVDs. A little nap in the evening and some more movies.

SATURDAY...
— Laundry day. I was supposed to go to the movies and supper with Karl but he has to postpone. So I just stick home and watch some movies and hockey while doing laundry. Pretty dull day... but relaxing.

SUNDAY...
— Finish off the laundry in the morning. Nap some as I was up shortly after 7:00 this morning... so I need the sofa to finish off the sleep. Softball... we lose again... not as bad as before but still a loss. After that, a bit of supper with Nick, Dusty, Steve and Dusty’s friend who played with us.


Bedroom Floor Lunch
There are few firsts or lasts that I have firm memories of. First birthday party? No idea. Last day on the job with Fisheries and Oceans? It doesn’t stand out. Then there are also those trivial things. Last time I ate a bag of Doritos chips? I don’t know. First time I played a game of softball? The memory doesn’t exist.

There is a last that does stand out to me. I remember the last time I ever ate liver.

Now I couldn’t tell you the date or the year. But I know I was young. I was probably about six or seven years old.

Occasionally, liver would be made for a meal. Dad’s a fan of the stuff and, at an age when you aren’t old enough to know what you do and don’t like, I had little say in the matter. I ate liver in the same way as I went to church for a few years fairly close to the same time. I was to go and give church a try... and if it didn’t stick with me after a year or so... I was no longer obligated.

I haven’t been to church for quite some time. Taking away weddings, it would be a good seven or eight years. And taking away Christmas Eve... just making it a regular Sunday trip to the church, I probably haven’t gone in at least fifteen years... probably more.

So it was with liver. I choked it down a few times because that’s the food that was on my plate and a kid of six or seven never had the option of not eating at all or making your own food.

The last time I had liver was for lunch. I can’t remember what day of the week it was. I don’t know if it was a weekend or if I was due to go to school after eating. But I do remember taking the plate into my parents room, plopping down on the floor in front of their little yellow TV that showed my favourite early afternoon shows in black and white, and forcing the red smelliness into my mouth.

It was probably during Sesame Street when I was nibbling on this meat, swallowing minute pieces that were drenched in ketchup.

In fact, I probably finished the ketchup portion of the meal. But ate very little of the cooked organ.

I still remember the taste. A bitter tinniness. Perhaps liver doesn’t taste that way at all. The taste has morphed into bitter tinniness over a thirty year period of time.

But on that day, when I finished my lunch, I remember telling mom or dad (who I told, I forget) that I don’t like liver. And since this wasn’t the first time I’d ever had it, and they seemed believing of my convictions, it has never been offered to me again.

Yet anytime I hear of, smell, or see liver, I think back those thirty years. Of me sitting Indian style on my parents bedroom floor, watching black and white kids shows on the yellow TV and returning to the kitchen with my ketchup finished and my liver attempted... telling my parents I don’t like it... and having them accept it. It’s my best childhood memory of me proclaiming something and having my parents take it seriously. Who knew that that day, while watching Sesame Street on my parents bedroom floor, I would take my first step to becoming a man.