Making It Up As I Go Along #377

Hillbilly Land
Life in Avalon has been an experience. Suburban boredom. Canadian Tire lifestyles. Wildlife reserve. And now... Hillbilly Land.

There have always been hints of it. But now the only thing we’re missing is a house on the corner with three foot high grass and an old Buick held off the ground, not by tires, but cinder blocks.

Hillbilly Land is where the inhabitants indeed have balconies or back yards to sit in... yet they want to be out front. So those in townhouses sit in lawn chairs out by the front door, drinking beer and observing the world going by.

Hillbilly Land is where garages are used not to store vehicles, but as a summer get away. An open garage with Canadian flags hanging off the rafters makes for an instant Canada Day retreat. Hang out on the asphalt, sip on the beer, and... you guessed it... watch the world go by.

Hillbilly Land is where terrace home smokers avoid their personal balconies. They hit the front alcove steps instead. Many a romantic moment is seen on these steps. Whispered words between inhales as they... oh yes... watch the world go by.

Other qualities of Hillbilly Land include the path leading from Avalon to the box stores. Where overhead power lines hum and contents of stolen wallets lay strewn on the ground. Many a Blockbuster Video card could be obtained with a simple stroll under the power lines.

There are the pickup trucks parked on both sides of the road. Leaving only a narrow path of space for neighbourhood vehicles to enter and exit the area. Narrow pathways between trees, rock faces and cliffs are charming. Narrow pathways between F150s are annoying.

Then there is the garbage. Oh the garbage. It is the biggest problem in Hillbilly Land. It is a sign of the weakness of the condo corporation and of the slobbiness of the inhabitants.

The rules state no garbage or recycling boxes are to be placed outside before 6:00 PM Wednesday or after 7:00 AM Thursday. The garbage men will come through after 7:00 on Thursday and then we’re expected to remove the empty recycle bin by the time Thursday evening rolls around.

It seems simple enough. But in Hillbilly Land, the rule is ignored. This week, one of the prime Hillbilly families (where many of the pickup trucks congregate) put out old carpet, underpads, and wood strips on Monday evening. All day Tuesday and Wednesday, the trash sat there on their lawn. Welcome to Hillbilly Land.

Such things are common. Often recycle bins and trash bags appear on the grass by Tuesday. And often, empty bins remain in place for an entire weekend after the garbage men have done their Thursday duties.

Warnings make way to the mailboxes. A rehashing of the rules and threats that condo fees will have to rise in order to hire someone to come clean up after us Hillbillies. Yet nothing ever changes. Condo fees have remained level and garbage is placed out on the curb anytime within a three day period. Spring brings old discarded winter tires left behind by disgruntled garbage men and remaining as a part of the landscape for a week or two. And if someone has lost track of which week of recycling we’re in, and they put out the plastics when the rest of the world has already brought out their cardboard... well that means we’ll have a full week of plastic recycling left in place, awaiting the next week’s round. Plastic blueberry containers and two litre pop bottles blow through the neighbourhood as tumbleweeds of the suburbs.

All of this witnessed by the front step beer drinkers and romantic alcove smokers. Oh how I wish for that cinder block Buick... it’ll make the scene complete.


THURSDAY...
— Okay day at work. CNI for half the day and CPSIC for the second half.
— Not thrilled to get home and see my recycling bin gone! Lots of scummy people around just taking what doesn’t belong to them.

FRIDAY...
— Work is alright. Fairly quiet dayshift really.
— Very rainy day. Ottawa has become a rain forest this summer.
— Up late to get to night shift mode. Watch the Jays game. I think Roy Halladay may be my all time favourite Blue Jay now. And his time with the time is likely soon to end.

SATURDAY...
— Quiet around the house before work. Work is quiet too. I’m tired by the time I get home.

SUNDAY...
— Quiet night at the office. Do the gym and just hold down the fort. I spook a family of five racoons walking back from the gym to the office.

MONDAY...
— Lose softball again. This is the slow pitch team that had won seven in a row. It was a good game though, 9-7.

TUESDAY...
— Don’t sleep great so it’s a lazy day. Then off to the movies with Sheila. Public Enemies is alright... not too bad... yet nothing real special.

WEDNESDAY...
— Some laundry and supper with Karl at the pub. Not much else going on today.