Making It Up As I Go Along #405

The Cone of Silence
I’ve always liked the spy genre. The James Bond movies are favourites of mine. I’ve watched them all several times. And I’ve mostly enjoyed the Austin Powers spy spoof movies too.

On TV, I grew up watching Get Smart. Maxwell Smart was the perfect spy for kids. He had cool gadgets, like shoe phones (complete with rotary dial) and he was funny in his adventures... serious co-spies and villains being aided or beaten by Max.

My favourite Maxwell Smart gadget was... the Cone of Silence. Top secret meetings, started by the serious spies... and quickly interrupted by Max... “Wait chief! Don’t you think a meeting liking this should be held under the Cone of Silence?”

Grudgingly, the others relent. “OK Max, fine”.

And they’d all gather around a desk and lower a great plexiglass shield that encase them all. The problem with the Cone... it worked too well. They’d start talking in the meeting and none of the spies could hear each other.

This Wednesday at work. I decided I needed... The Cone of Silence.

I’m in a tight spot at work right now. My amount of vacation time is pretty much maxed out. From this Thursday to the end of March, I can take off about 45 minutes from work. Unfortunately, hockey games take longer to play than that.

Canada vs. Russia hockey is a big game to see. The radio won’t do. Getting updates from co-workers rings hollow. Hey, I bought an HD TV for moments like this. So even though the rest of my office are desperate to hear the game the moment it happens, I decide that I’d rather watch it in all it’s glory.

The trick... how to handle three and a half hours of work without finding out the biggest news going.

I don’t own a Maxwell Smart cone of silence. There is no plexiglass bubble to cover me. So I had to turn to my own variation of the cone... my mp3 player.

Wilco is my all time favourite band. Their music can bring the whole realm of emotions to me. The lyrics captivate and inspire. On this day, Wilco would have to take me away. Away from excited co-workers. Away from Alex Ovechkin and Sydney Crosby. Away from the emotion and excitement of hockey.

Normally, when I listen to music at work, I set my mp3 volume at around 30 to 33. Loud enough not to hear everything around me. Quiet enough that if someone asks me something, I know to take the headphones off and ask them to repeat.

On Wednesday, I could not take any chances. Volume set... 43.

Since my return to AFIS, I’ve had a hard time sitting at my station for extended periods of time. In CPSIC, you were up and down and all around. There was never more than ten minutes spent at any one spot or doing one particular thing. So returning to AFIS, where the best workers sit still working for two or three hours straight... well it has been hard.

Wednesday though, changes would have to be made from my half hour wanders. To get up and move around is to open yourself up to opportunities to hear about the game. People’s faces can tell the tale. Actors, my co-workers are not... at least I never thought so.

So I remain plunked in space, back to the outside world, Wilco blasting in my ears. Perhaps I’d make it... perhaps.

It’s a delicate struggle that can be shattered at a moment’s notice. If Canada wins, surely I’ll catch a glimpse of a dancing co-worker as they happily prance down the hall. And if they lose... well wouldn’t I see it in the dejected faces around me?

I can’t think that far ahead. Just plug in and let Wilco take me away.

Twice, in what I know is the first period, I hear the roar. It comes between songs, in that moment of silence on my headphones. I curse the silence and imagine the goals.

But then it ends. I hear no more. Late in the game (whenever I look at a clock I know the game must be at a particular point) I see people whisper to each other from time to time. But it’s subdued. And I believe it means the Russian team is too good. That an early Canadian lead has been erased and the dream of hockey supremacy is over.

Still, I hear nothing as certainty and indeed make it away, at the end of shift, with no more knowledge than those two early game cheers.

The Blackberry has sat unused for hours. Texts and e-mails will have to wait. Any of them may tell me what has happened.

And in time warp fashion, I’m home at 11:30, with the game on. It’s live for me. As if just starting. I even delayed my grocery store run after work for fear of a stock boy giving a hint.

Sure enough, Canada score early... and often. And then I wait. Waiting for the come back. I figure it will come. I remember the subdued later portion of work. The co-workers seemed down and quiet.

But the goals keep coming. And I’m left wondering if there’ll be a collapse of monumental proportions. They go into the third period up 7-3.

So I watch the minutes go by. And think of it in terms of Russian goals. As in “well they’ll need to score a goal every four minutes to tie it up”... then “every two minutes”. By the time it got to a goal a minute, I accept the win that’s about to come.

And perhaps my co-workers were better actors than I thought. Or maybe my imagination took over during work.

Either way, Wilco helped me reach the Cone of Silence. And the hockey game, in HD, is watched as it should be.



MONDAY...
— Work stats are getting too good. I’ll have to slack off some or they’ll expect me to keep this up.
— Morning Olympic coverage is horribly bad. It’s like an entertainment news show. Hardly a sports caster to be seen and giggling twits trying to glam up athletes. Shame on CTV for it.

TUESDAY...
— Keg with Geoff can’t be beat.

WEDNESDAY...
— The Cone of Silence attempted at work. Russia vs. Canada Olympic hockey but I’m at work for it. So I get my mp3 player out, and blast Wilco for the last three hours of work. Twice I hear cheers from co-workers (when music is at a lull)... but I don’t know what happens. I knew Canada scored twice in the first period but nothing beyond... and was actually guessing Russia came back by the way co-workers were acting. Nice surprise as I watch the game and see Canada’s 7-3 victory!

THURSDAY...
— Greek night at work.
— Good Olympic day for hockey and figure skating. Women’s hockey win gold and how Rochette did as well as she did after losing her mother. And to hear the IOC is investigating the women’s hockey team for celebrating on the ice with cigars, beer and champagne. This is how moronic and uptight the Olympic Committee is. Oh brother.

FRIDAY...
— Me and Roz alone in AFIS. Not a bad night.
— Hockey game on PVR... I knew what the score was after one period but didn’t know after that until I got home. Not a great showing by Canada... lucky to win and will need to be better in the gold medal game.

SATURDAY...
— More good Olympic stuff. Too bad the weather didn’t co-operate in Vancouver... snow board event was mostly in fog. But still good to see the win for vet Jasey Jay Anderson.