Making It Up As I Go Along #436

And now we're into the new blog schedule. Next update, in eight days.

Rogers: Lord of Darkness
Rogers... that great big corporation that is enveloping our country... is evil.

Today is a perfect example of the evilness. I open my latest cable/internet bill and see an extra ten dollars charged to my account for a PPV movie.

Yes, I did order the movie. But the thing is, Rogers offered it to me. My God... Rogers isn’t just evil... it’s the devil itself! Offering forbidden candy, picking at our trust and desires... and then slamming the door shut, with us trapped inside.

Some background on my movie situation. In August, I get an e-mail from Rogers. All warm and fuzzy and speaking of how, as a good customer, they’d like to offer me a free movie in September. I just had to register, a step I took and was confirmed as having done. And then I waited.

Late in September, with little to do one evening, I decided to order my free movie. Seeing the fine print on that Rogers e-mail, I know I can order anything up to $13.99 in cost. So no PPV boxing or UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship), but it must go beyond a run of the mill movie, as they all go for much less than this price.

I order a $10 history of the UFC and decide right then and there that this has all been too easy. Today, I see the decision then was correct. I’m charged for the movie.

Lured in by the mighty corporation, I just fed the empire an extra $10. I’ve e-mailed them, stating my case. At the end of the e-mail, the screen pops up telling you they’ll respond within 24 hours. Within minutes, I get a confirmation e-mail telling me responses will occur in 48 to 72 hours. I’m sure my response will probably take 4 or 5 days. For you see, it’s all just words with Rogers. They have my money... that’s all that counts.

And I won’t see a return of my $10. The devil will spin it’s words to show me how, if I would have read further on the contract (signed in blood I’m sure) I’d have seen that this offer was only good for new release summer blockbuster movies that had Sandra Bullock staring in them.

Rogers shall one day rule our land. And, like the Skydome in Toronto and GM Place in Vancouver (now known as Rogers Centre and Rogers Arena, respectfully), They’ll rename our nation too. It’ll be a proud moment, brought to you by Rogers, when we watch our Olympic team enter the arena during the opening ceremonies... The great nation of Rogersada.

Rogers is all that is wrong with corporations. Greedily in it to make money for themselves before offering actual customer service. A trip to the Rogers website is a jumbled mess of promotions and redirections. “It’s all so easy” they tell us on TV (brought to you through your Rogers Cable), “just click”.

And it tells you right there on the screen too. You see it on the website. Able to read the words. “Add/remove channels”. It really IS easy! You excitedly click the title with the joy of knowing you’ll soon rid yourself of the 24 hour cooking channel! And with the click, you go to a place. A place where you see packages of TV channels. Filled with a world of garbage, clinging to those two flagship channels you can’t do without. For with Rogers, they go under the assumption that you’ll keep that bath water... only a monster would throw out the baby.

And sometimes, when we’re weak, we don’t care. My bill has ballooned to $3000 a month, I’ll toss the baby of TSN (The Sports Network)... anything to regain some financial control of my life. And you go ahead and click on the “Add/remove channels” title... and you look to remove... and you look... and... remove?... where’s the “remove” part of “Add/remove”???

Redirects to HD channels you can add... and more redirects to a list of channels you already own (with the 24 hour cooking channel spitting in your face... a new, interactive feature created by Rogers). Yet no clear-cut way to clear-cut your channel forest.

Finally you give up and pick up the phone. And there you are in automated telephone land. Press “1" for this and “2" for that. The devil sits back upon his throne, laughing at your tortured soul.

In fact, the devil now mocks you about it these days. New commercials for Rogers (while you watch your Rogers supplied cable). Showing small business owners ripping their hair out at that fantasy land service provider’s automated phone servers. “Billing?” the automated voice cheerily asks. “Business”, the incredibly thin and hip (cause he’s got a collared shirt on with no tie, so you know he’s with it). “Alright, Billing!” the auto voice obliviously proclaims. “BIZ-IN-US!” the frustrated hip thin businessman attempts to spell out.

But all is right for the businessman. Rogers to the rescue. If you own a business, just call this special number, and no more automated service. Bob is there, answering lickety split.

Yet because I’m not owning my own business. Because I haven’t paid some extra fee that surly must exist for the privilege of avoiding the run around and talking directly to Bob. I’m in automated world!

It blows my mind to see Rogers using it’s own shortcomings as a selling tool for itself! That fantasy land service provider is Rogers itself. It is indeed a false prophet dressed in sheep’s clothing.

So why don’t I remove myself from Rogers? I’m not allowed. My other option, Bell, is not an option at all. My condo corporation doesn’t allow satellite dishes. In fact... wait a minute.... could it be? Could it be possible that my condo corporation is owned?... By?... ROGERS!

Yes indeed, I live in the community of Rogersdale... a suburb of Rogerswa... in the country of Rogersada. And when my cable provider offers me a free gift in August, that I can’t watch until September, you better believe I’ll be paying for it in October.

That’s just the way the Devil works.

MONDAY...
— Certification work... yawn.
— Dad is finally published. The book is out.

TUESDAY...
— Mort cert and boredom ensues. Like where I’ve been sitting anyway.

WEDNESDAY...
— Last day of AFIS. I’m in certification again... meh. Breakfast across is nice though.

THURSDAY...
— Thank you Ottawa Sun for making a phone call to me at 9:15 in the morning... seeing if I want to subscribe to your rag. Well, I’m up now.
— Hockey on TV... and video games. I’m improving on the game. Minnesota and Carolina in Helsinki are boring as can be (Versus is a lousy network and I wish TSN didn’t grab their feed). Toronto vs. Montreal was a fun game at the end. And Edmonton look exciting... tonight anyway.
— Baseball playoffs get in there too. San Francisco looking good.
— I’m developing an ever greater appreciation for sweet potato fries.
— Mom and dad book their post Thanksgiving Thanksgiving trip. Less than two weeks!

FRIDAY...
— Walk the pond. A couple of laps is pretty nice. Some hockey and baseball on TV